NSFW - What code name do you have for pleasuring yourself?

So after I got shot down for morning sex and my wife suggesting I take a long shower, I obnoxiously began to recite all the code names I know for such an event. I was disappointed that I only came up with wakking the wooda (spelling who the hell knows), choking the chicken, spanking the monkey and a date with mary palm and her five friends. What are some others? Women, feel free to add yours to this post (I’m not aware of any for women).