Is it possible NOT to be paranoid about sex these days?

Alcohol

didnt you already ask a question like this??

Well, a good tip is to maybe get to know that person before having sex. Telling them how safe you want to be and how important it is to you is a really mature thing, and I think anyone will respect that.

”...seems to hinder the entire act itself…”

Hmmm…only hinders it for those who do it on a total whim, with someone they haven’t taken the time to truly get to know, no? Seems like not being “truly responsible” is how many of the problems you’ve mentioned started.

Fuck it.

No, wait.

Become a Catholic.

C’mon, let’s not get too histrionic. You don’t need to carry around your medical records, or insist that your partner have a full medical exam before you “do your thing…”. Appropriate condom use (and I do mean appropriate) works extremely well at preventing all of the things you listed, HIV, STDs and pregnancy. So, unless you are absolutely against condoms and/or frank and open conversations with your (potential) partner(s), you shouldn’t worry that the sky is falling.

I do agree with TheHaight though. Seeing as how this is your second STD question in less than 24 hours, I am a bit concerned that you are dancing around a more serious issue. Care to share?

haha, kevbo I’m catholic and have lots of sex/love making with my boyfriend….
And know lots of Catholics that don’t follow abstinence!

I have only been with one girl (my first) without waiting to be tested and getting the results back. I manage it.

Wanna tip? Watch your friend die from AIDS. That is a sure fire way to ensure you are careful. Trust me on this one.

i agree with shilolo…condom use is very effective. most important though is communication.

@TheHaight. I liked your original answer before you watered it down with all that love-making business :-)

if that happened to you… I’m very sorry jp.
Thats probably the worst/saddest way to become aware about being safe. :(

haha- but shi, I’ve still stuck by my answer. My boyfriend was my first and I’ve been with him for over three years. We not only love eachother, but practice safe sex and have been tested. I just wanted to let kevbo know that being catholic isn’t really a reason… Funny though!haa.

@thehaight, I followed (unfortunately), and
it’s a part of why I stopped practicing (catholicism, that is). It’s not a position I can reconcile.

I understand. I was the same way too, and all about abstinence untill I met my
man… And I know life is short, and it just felt right. To bad you stopped practicing because of that reason, or maybe I’m just not much of a hardcore catholic?

@TheHaight. I know, your answer was appropriate either way, but I thought the statement “we have lots of sex” was a real jolt!

@shilolo, I hope my answer to this question didn’t sound “histrionic” – just saying this since your response was after mine (and kevbo). I just meant that he shouldn’t be “bothered” by using protection – and shouldn’t necessarily be jumping in the sac with one stranger after the next, condom or not (which doesn’t always prevent STDs, since you don’t have to have intercourse to get one).

I’m trying not to use the word “cafeteria.” Does that term still get thrown around?

yeah! Thats why I changed it to slash/love making.

But- I think were gettig a bit off topic- johnny I’m concerned for you as well.

Wait a minute, you also asked an expat question… Oh my god, you aren’t planning to go to some like Eastern European country with a low rate of AIDS and other STDs and go hog wild are you?!

@Spendy. I wasn’t implying you were histrionic. Mostly, I was aiming that at Jonny, since he seems to be perseverating on STDs, when in fact a simple condom can (for the most part) allow people to go at it with reckless abandon. Many people do have sex “on a whim” and assuming they practice safe sex, don’t suffer significant consequences. One night stands have been around for a long time…

@breanne et al,

Mail order bride porn?

@shilolo, Oh totally…and I’m not even saying I haven’t had them! Just wanted to be sure we were on the same page. I’m a sex lover (or, at least I was, I’m married now LOL) – but safety first. It’s one of those situations where you can’t count on someone else to have your back (not that the “back” is ever an option). HA

And by “get to know” I meant, talk to long enough to establish that being safe is a primary concern of both parties. Ok, that’s exaggerated, but you get the idea. I guess my response didn’t come off quite how I would have liked.

PUT ON THE CONDOM, GET A LAST NAME, AND QUIT WHINNING – How’s that? :)

Much better ;-)

This issue has come up for me because I am constantly living in foreign countries, people have different customs and cultures by which they abide. So stop whining about me asking two questions that are pertinent to one another. If you really think it is a bad question, why has it elicited 20+ responses already? Waste your time somewhere else making others feel badly about using an internet site. You don’t own this site.

@JonnyCeltics I think you misinterpreted what was being said to you. Nobody said it was a bad question. You got several good answers here and concern for you was shown. shi was trying to calm your fears. The way your question was worded sounds like you were pretty freaked out about this.

@Jonny, I’m sorry this has become a sore issue. Let me try again. Yes, it is possible not to be paranoid about sex these days if you follow safe sex practices.

I have worked in the San Francisco City (STD) Clinic, and have heard pretty much every sex story imaginable. Sometimes people are initially evasive about why they are there, while others are very blunt. So, when I answered your first question about STDs, I offered to discuss this with you privately, since I thought at the time that you might be alluding to things you didn’t want to ask more openly. Then, when I saw your follow-up question (this one), I became more convinced that you were tip-toeing around something. I guess I was wrong.

The fact that you live/work in different countries has some bearing on this, but again, if you have safe sex, its not that far different from having sex in the US. (That assumes you aren’t having sex with sex workers in say, Thailand or Africa, where HIV rates are incredibly high.)

So, to sum up, I’m sorry I offended you. Feel free to contact me if you want to discuss further.

Johnny if you wouldve explained that in the beginning we wouldve understood your questions a bit more, I think you’re the one that’s whining, because every single answer on here was helpful and I didnt see them as bashing you or making you feel bad. People were concerned about you and I thought that was pretty nice & caring of them.
Oh, and what scamp said- nobody said it was a bad question… Because it wasn’t!!

-hannah

Ahhhh….The sanctity of marriage…..

@boffin. I’m not so sure that “the sanctity of marriage” is a life-long guarantee. Most new cases of HIV in women in Africa and Southeast Asia are in married women, whose husbands have unprotected sex with prostitutes and then their wives. Even in the US, many women are getting HIV the same way.

Get Married!

Better yet, get married and don’t cheat