Does it rub you the wrong way when you tell someone about something you did and they say "Must be nice!"?

Just consider the source and carry on with your life.

You have my permission to go back to sleep, if you wish.

I just retired and got up at 430 am every morning. I am having a hard time adjusting to sleeping in. My wife says that I have earned it, but my biological clock will not give up on 430 am.

I can understand my friends in college being a little envious of all the free time I have on my hands these days, but yeah, when someone says “must be nice” when I say I’ve spent most of my day reading (for example), I’m real tempted to fire back with, “oh yes, it’s so nice to have spent this year getting my guts rearranged instead of starting college. So nice.”

What would be nice is if people could withhold their judgements until they know what someone’s life is truly like.

When anyone says anything that is intended to be snide, yes it rubs me the wrong way. That is their intent and they are successful when they do it. Goody for them, they win. I’m not quite sure where the satisfaction comes from in being like that.

@john65pennington I think I’m good! No more sleep today!

@JilltheTooth I think it’s just a way to get people to “feel sorry” for them. Sheeeit.

@Mariah I agree. But the problem is, people who say shit like that are usually lazy low lifes who don’t do anything for themselves and get jealous of people who “have things,” but don’t want to look at the truth that those people “have things” because they work their asses off.

I appreciate your input, guys. I’m soooo cranky in the mornings (2:26 p.m. as I speak!) that everything rubs me the wrong way!

Now, I’m going to get ready to go to her baby shower….for her THIRD kid. I promised to make a salmon dip for it. Didn’t realize I was expected to actually attend as I never got any kind of invite…and didn’t want one. But this morning she mentioned “seeing me” at 3. First hint I got. Sheeeit. kicking things. Have to go put on my gracious face now. Excuse me please.

Envy and/or jealousy, pure and simple.
It is always hard to recognize that someone whom you have considered a “friend” secretly harbors some sort of twisted animosity when you share something good or self indulgent with them.

Sounds like this “friend” has some hidden jealousies that are squeezing out in covert ways, keep your eyes open and notice, infact, something I did with a now ‘ex’ ‘friend.’

Make a POINT of sharing happy good news with her and watch for a pattern in her behavior.

I have let go of two toxic “friends” in the last year and their obvious secret resentments of my good happenings was hard to reconcile, but, reconcile I did and gave ‘em the boot.

True friends want to see you enjoying yourself, successful, caring for yourself and HAPPY!

If you get the feeling someone secretly would get off if you had a hardship that is not acceptable, at all, not ever!

I had a friend like that once, @Coloma. I know she was jealous of my lifestyle when I was married the first time. When I hit bottom financially, after the divorce, she’d find little ways to rub my nose in it.

@Dutchess_III

Yeah, that’s why they are called ‘frienemies!’ lol

Yeah! I like that word!

I’m going to spin on the friends side and attempt to see it from her point of view. You said she’s pregnant, I automatically think of how cranky and uncomfortable she may feel every day physically. You also mentioned she has two kids running around the house. Two kids running around, obviously can’t find the time to clean (not that it isn’t there). If you have the bravery to not consider how her life must be, don’t expect her to realize what you go through and how busy you are. I’m sure she feels trapped and unsatisfied in her life. Let’s also look at it from your point of view. You mentioned told her how late you woke up. Did you want a fake reaction from her? Something along the lines of, “Oh wow that’s awesome!.” Because honestly if a friend came at me with that same line, “Dude I just woke up at 2pm!” I’d probably say something like, “Haha, oh cool man, what’d you do last night?” But in the back of my head it’s kind of like, I really don’t care that you woke up that late. Unless you two are business partners and meet up to support a company, have planned schedules, anything you two talk about shouldn’t be taken personal. You guys obviously have no obligations together, I’d get over this one real quick or the history you two share can evaporate in a heartbeat.

@dreamwolf I have been pregnant and had 6 kids to deal with because I was running a daycare out of my house. I kept my house clean. I wasn’t THAT uncomfortable until my last week. I played tennis up until my last week. She hasn’t gotten off the couch for 5 months.

If she feels “trapped” it’s her own damn fault. She went of her birth control pills without telling her SO or even even asking him if he wanted a child or was ready for one. He didn’t, he wasn’t ready, but now he has no choice.

It’s annoying as hell when a pregnant woman thinks that she shouldn’t have to do anything because she’s pregnant. Being knocked up is NOT a disability!

And I only mentioned that I didn’t get up until 1 because she commented on the fact that I sounded drowsy when she called at about 1:20.

@dreamwolf

Responding in a sarcastic manner is a from of emotional abuse.

One of my biggest deal breakers in all relationships is “don’t take your moods out on me”.

I side with @Dutchess_III in feeling that was a smart ass and unnecessary come back to a benign sharing. The ” must be nice” implies a sarcastic, “poor me”, and a ” must be NICE to be lazy” attitude. Bah! Not acceptable.

If it was my friend I would simply say, ” Wow, you must have really needed the sleep, GOOD FOR YOU!”

We can all stick our foot in our mouth once in awhile, but a truly NICE person would have caught themselves and said, ” Oops, that didn’t sound very nice, let me rephrase that!”

I wuv you @Coloma! The truth is…I drank too much rum last night! And I really needed the sleep, too.

Yeah, that girl is allll about “poor me.” So annoying.

@Coloma I agree, “don’t take your moods out on me.” @Dutchess_III I just wanted to fathom what it might be like to be in her shoes. I don’t think either of you are correct, or wrong. But I certainly am not against how you feel. Are you going to avoid her now? Hope you too can make amends. Maybe you can bring to her attention that she seems to be “poor me, pishy poshy all the time.” I mean hear her out you know? What if it’s all correlating to her spouse? Maybe he’s such a prick to her, its rubbed off. I don’t know, but always try to find the bright side of this relationship, doesn’t mean you have to hang out, but it shouldn’t be left at this. Good luck!

@dreamwolf

Yes, ideally they would be able to talk about her attitude.
Best relationship “test” in the world, being able to see if someone is capable of hearing how their words or behavior effects another without reactive defense.