Have you ever asked someone out on a date? What was your experience?

The answers have varied anywhere from, “Thanks for asking, but no thanks.” To, “I have to wash my dog that night.”

That’s why I now prefer to write kinky sex stories and let women write to me and ask me to torture them :-p

When I was much younger and single and living in SanFrancisco I learned that women love to go to live performances like musicals, plays, concerts and even baseball games. They also like to have dinner at nice restaurants. It cost me a lot of money but I found that I could always get a date with this sort of strategy. Well OK I used brides. So what? Most of the time we both had a lot of fun and the cost was well worth it.

I’m a female. Here have been some of the responses I’ve received (in my youth):

“I’d love to, but you’ve made me realize that I really do want to get back together with my ex-girlfriend. You are so sweet. Let’s still be friends OK?”

“I think you’re getting too serious about me, maybe we should cool it.”

“You’re really sweet and I really like you but…”

“Yeah, maybe sometime, it’s just that I’m so busy with…”

“You’re a lot of fun, but I’m not really into dating, but thanks for asking.”

On the other hand, the gay guys have always said yes!

I ask guys on dates sometimes. I don’t think I’ve ever been turned down.

I’ve never actually asked a guy out. I’ve thought about it, done a huge amount of deliberating and planning only to have the guy ask me out first. It actually felt very Rom-Com movie, so I was quite happy with the results.

I have now decided that I will never ask anyone out on a date ever again.

I have asked people out on dates many times in my life, and they never say no, they just stand me up. Asking girls out on a date simply does not work for me. Instead I have to just make regular plans to meet, and when the pheromones are stewing and everyone has a smile on their face I make a move.

Letting things develop works, attempts to officiate the event always fail. If I ask them to “hang out” and then make a move it always works, if I ask them to go out for some dinner and a movie I’m left waiting alone. No confirmation biased, this is literal.

Well I was lazy when it came to ask the ladies out so if they wanted to go on a date they had to do the talking and be embarased.
@poisonedantidote that;s why I never asked some out. Not because of refusal, I didn’t want to be alone there.

Yeah. Some have taken me up on it, some haven’t. The worst one was where he said “yes”, and then we dated for over half a year, even though he knew he was gay.

@Aethelflaed I think you and I have something in common!

Pretty bad!
I’ll just leave it at that

I felt it would be too shameful to ask someone for a date, so I never did.

Except once. She said yes but that was the only date we ever had.

I’m like @HungryGuy. Far better to be yourself in some place where women can notice and they can approach you instead of the other way around. In my opinion, if the human race had to repopulate it through dating, everyone would look like John Travolta.

@wundayatta – Right. I was a dismal failure with women in university. I was one of those annoying losers who kept asking why “nice guys can’t get women?”

Now, women read my [NSFW] stories and write to me to ask me to meet them for kinky sex :-p

@wundayatta LOL! But I’m picturing John Travolta like this

I have asked out a lot of women, both when younger, and now that I am older and single again. When I was younger I would only ask a girl out if I was very confident she would say yes. Even so, I got a few “no, but thanks for asking.” In my 20’s, I took more chances, and got a positive response about half the time. There were a few occasions when I’d get a fairly rude rejection, but usually it was a polite but direct “I’m not going to be able to make it.”

With on-line dating now, there are a lot more no’s, and much harder to get to the point of meeting face to face.

I’m a female and I’ve asked men out a few times but in my experiences, those dates didn’t come off as when a man asked me out. I chalk it up to if a man is really interested after some bantering and flirting back and forth, he’ll ask.

I don’t think I’ve ever really asked anyone out. I’ve only liked about 4 or 5 people tops in my 21 years of life. I’ve “gone steady” with 2 of them. In both cases, it first got to the point where it was very obvious that something mutual was there, where we already behaved and functioned like a couple, but never made it “official”. The next step would be some type of argument, a petty one built on insecurities that would end with our feelings for one another being confirmed, followed by the decision to become a couple. And that was that.

@HungryGuy I kind of wonder what it is where when you are there in person, you just aren’t all that interesting, but when they get to know how your mind works before they ever see you, you become utterly fascinating. When women say that a man’s mind is most important to them, I think they really are telling the truth. The trick is to not let your body get in the way. It’s too weird for words, if you ask me.

If you don’t look all that great and they see your body first, they almost universally won’t be able to get past that to see your mind. If they see your mind first, it doesn’t matter what your body looks like a lot of the time. The virtual world is a godsend for guys who can put two sentences together in a row. If you can put together three—watch out!

I’ve asked lots of people on dates, and the responses have varied. One woman told me she would rather stick her head in a burning oven than have a drink with me, and of course some people have been receptive and even enthusiastic. Just depends. I’m sure I am always nervous about asking someone out.. though, it’s been a really long time since I’ve had to worry about that sort of thing.

Many times. The answers have ranged from “absolutely” to “go fuck yourself, you asshole prick.” Better to ask than not.

I did lots of asking. Most of the time it was “yes” or “sure” or “I’d like to hang out with you”...If I hadn’t asked, my husband probably wouldn’t have said much to me ;) He’s shy like that.

Prickly.

I got married pretty young (19), so my ‘dating life’ before then didn’t really revolve around dates. More or less, it was a lot of hanging out and making out. However, I initiated many relationships/make out sessions. The only one who turned me down was gay.

Usually they were guys I knew, friends of friends, at least, but I did give a stranger my phone number once. He was the guy who loaded groceries into your car at the grocery store. I’d seen him many times, thought he was cute, but had never spoken to him. I was a nervous wreck, but I gave him a card with my name and phone number on it, jumped in the car, and told my mom to “Drive, drive!”. He called me and we dated for a while.

I never asked a stranger or someone I just met. It was always someone i knew for a while, either through school, work, or mutual friends. I was never turned down and it was always fun with extended followups. Nice.
Thanks for the memories.

@ANef_is_Enuf – I’m not much of a drinker, but I can certainly think of things I’d rather do with you than stick my head in an oven :-p

I was thinking about this Q last night, and realized I did ask my second husband out for our first date. I knew he was interested, but he hadn’t made an official move on me yet, so I went for it. Obviously, he said yes. :)