How do I convince my hubby to switch partners during dance class?

Maybe he’s just uncomfortable with the idea. Talk to him, tell him the advantages, and let him tell you the disadvantages in his eyes.

He’s probably nervous. Maybe before or after the class, sit down with a few couples from the group and say, “Hey Bill and Marge, I really want us both to get to be able to know what it’s like to dance with other partners so we can really get the hang of learning how to dance, do you think we can go in with you two and maybe with Mary and Bob and try that out?”

If you are only switching it up with one or 2 other couples, especially couples that you know better than the others, he might not be so nervous. And because you are stating it somewhat publicly (to the other couples) they will be encouraging too. Let him know that he doesn’t have to dance with everyone, immediately, but it’s important for you to really get a feel for the dancing lessons to see how it differes from partner to partner, and you want to gain that confidence.

Then promise him something extra special for later on, when the dance lesson is done. Use your imagination : )

@Kardamom good idea. That is something I’ll try in the coming weeks.

@tranquilsea You just reminded me that Dancing With the Stars starts tomorrow!!!

@Kardamom that was something our instructor let us know today. She had the lead judge from the Canadian version in the studio to drum up support for it.

@tranquilsea Wow! That’s cool. Now I have to decide whether I’m for Chaz Bono or Carson Kressley! My favorite all time DWTS’s dancer is John O’Hurley. Love that man!

@Kardamom I watched Chaz Bono’s documentary on the decision to change genders and then the subsequent operation and gained an enormous amount of respect for him. I’ll be rooting for him.

@tranquilsea I did too. He seems like a nice, genuine person. I feel so badly for him that he’s actually received death threats. Who gives death threats to a person who simply tries to be who he is? They might think he is weird, but he is harming no one (although you could argue that he’s physically harming himself, but he’s not harming anyone else).

I’m hoping that Cher will come on there to root for him! I hope they don’t get a bunch of haters in the audience or haters sending in e-mails and phone calls, that would just suck.

I bet Carson is thinking that he’s got a much easier row to how in this particular situation, although under regular circumstances, he’s also be getting death threats. : (

I just hope the whole show will be fun and all about the dancing and the entertainment and not about the “controversial celebrity dancers.”

P.S. I also love me some Tom Bergeron!

This question reads so different if you leave the word dance out. ~just sayin

on a serious note, I can understand that there is benefit in dancing with others and you need to handle the question and desire with care. I guess all you can do is ask it in as sticky sweet a way as you can….

Ha, I wish I could find a dance class like that. I had the opposite happen. My husband and I once decided to join ballroom. We were the best in the class. We both enjoy dancing very much. (It’s actually the first thing we liked about each other.)
Anyway we got seperated a lot because the teacher liked to use us to help the people having a hard time so we hardly danced together. So we eventually just stop going. I and he would sometimes end up dancing with partners who smelled like garlic, or had extremely bad breath or stinky or sweaty arm pits. Its difficult to enjoy dancing with someone else who makes you hold your breath the whole time you are with them. And then when your forced to take in a deep breath you instantly regret it. Or as female, lots of times your hand is right under their stinky sweaty arm pits. Or they sweat so much they drip on you. My husband didn’t have such a bad time with the women but I sure as hell did. You may want to stick to your hubby. Plus there is the added bonus of someone stepping on your toes. Oh, fun!
I wish we had found your instructor. I’m like your husband. I only want to dance with the person I went with. He probably feels, he is doing this to spend time with you doing something enjoyable together. Not so he can just mingle with others. I know I just wanted to have my husbands arms around me, not some strangers arms.

@Pandora LOL. I always get stuck with those stinky, sweating, garlic-scented men standing next to me at concerts. And almost invariably, one of them has something in his pocket that makes me wonder if he’s happy to to see me. If you get my drift. I’ve had to jab my elbow into them before.

Shuddering

@Pandora I can see that side of it. But we are really just learning and he ended up stepping on my toes constantly and he lead me into nearly every guy on on the dance floor. I though that he may have an easier time leading someone else.

I’ll just have to see how the next few classes go.

Maybe he is nervous about his skill level? Worried about embarrassing himself? Awww I love that you guys take dance class together.

@JLeslie we are having a great time. He seemed to be really out of sorts today.

I hope they do more work on teaching him exactly how to lead.

@tranquilsea Oh, then there is your answer. He probably feels insecure about his abilities to lead. My husband and I met dancing. Out at a nightclub, you don’t have to know how to lead because no one is even touching dancing. He loves to dance, but not hold each other, ballroom type dancing. He feels totally insecure. He goes from great dancer to out of step and off beat. Go figure. I mean literally he was dancing on a speaker in a club when I first saw him. But, he doesn’t want to take a dance class with me.

I didn’t see that ending coming and was ready to slap a “NSFW” label on your question!

@janbb lol!

Ha, when I teach couples Argentine tango, the wives are unlike you and hate when their husbands get to swap and that’s all their husbands want to do. Well, all the want to do is dance with me ‘cause they’re pervs, but still…

I’m glad you see the benefits to trying to dance w/someone else but he probably is just jealous or insecure and thinks it’s about wanting to dance with someone better (for you).

Maybe you need to practice a little at home before each class so he can build up his confidence before class begins. Get some dance dvds that you can practice the moves he has the most difficult time with.
He may feel that some of the women won’t be so forgiving about his fumbling. I remember one really tall guy I would dance with. I’m only 5 ft tall. It was really awkward to say the least. And he appoligizes every time. His feet were huge and I cringed everytime he had to dance close with me. Plus it fell like I was dancing with a truck that ran its tires over my feet. Disaster every time. His wife was the only one close to his height. LOL, I just remember. My husband didn’t like dancing with her either.

@Pandora that was something I suggested on the way home. I can help him a lot with the cues for leading.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Funny, I was thinking probably @tranquilsea wants to dance with some better dancers in the class. I was just about to write maybe she should leave him at home sometimes.

@JLeslie I was thinking that after he ran me into the 5th guy. I started to get twitchy because I was really worried about who was behind me.

Hahahaha. :)

Some of the dvds are pretty good at giving ideas to guys about how to lead.
I find most of the leading is done with the hands and the slight pressure. Its equally important the female knows how to follow with a slight touch. I have an extremely easy time following my husbands hand gestures which is light. But I get thrown off, when a guy is forceful instead because he is trying to get you to move quicker than what is required.
When I need my husband to slow down my hand tightens a little on his. When I need him to pick it up than my hand barely grips his. (that means lead) When it’s prefect than its like a soft hold.
He needs to know when you are going the speed you need to go or when its not.

I bet he’s looking at his feet as he dances. Thats why your being rammed into other people. Practice foot work at home. (pad furniture) and then practice without him looking at his feet.

Is he dancing in the first place for you or for him? A good test is to ask yourself if he would ever consider going without you?

If it’s not something he seeks out and he’s there because you’ve asked him to be or because he’s being a good sport, then I would say stick with him but let him know you’d like to swap more once he’s comfortable. He’ll probably start planning for it and eventually move towards that.

You obviously know him better than we do, but you may be asking for too much he’s uncomfortable with all at once, let him get his feet under him in a situation where he feels the least judgement and then go from there. Be patient.

If you just have to dance with someone else, take another class by yourself, but don’t be surprised if he decided to stop going all together.

You say he has problems with leading. If he feels comfortable, perhaps you could lead him and show him how it’s done. If that will not work, I agree with the ideas of practicing at home or switching partners with a couple you know well.

Its pretty obvious that he had rather be with you more so than anyone else. Be thankful he feels this way and just enjoy it.

He’s nervous. This week things went much better. We are having a lot of fun and that what matters most.