How do I approach him?

Ask him what time it is. XD
I don’t know. Just start by casually saying things to him, and work from there.

I would think he’s a the library for a reason. See what he’s reading/doing and ask about it. Do not look away and SMILE every time he looks your way!

With some guys, if you’re a girl and you approach him for the purpose of “just being friends”, they might not see it that way. You say you are already seeing someone, but at the same time you say that the guy “seems really interesting and you’d really like to get to know him.” No offense, but are you sure it’s more than just a “new friend” that you want? If that is the case, then you should approach him with a casual question, just like what @AshLeigh suggested. But then you should tell him that you have a boyfriend to avoid any misunderstanding. You can tell him about that in a non-threatening way, as an adjunct in a casual conversation, like “Oh, you like to watch hockey? My boyfriend loves hockey too.” That will not only inform him that you are already involved, but it will also show him that you only want to be friends with him and nothing more.

Maybe you could have your boyfriend approach him. Have him walk up to the fellow and say, “Hey man, my girlfriend has been checking you out for awhile, she thinks you look interesting and she’d like to get to know you, but she’s afraid that you might think she is interested in you or think she is creepy. Would you like to have coffee with us?”

Now think about how weird this would sound for all parties. Are you sure you aren’t just a little bit attracted to the guy? What else about him would make you think he seems interesting if you haven’t met him? Is your boyfriend into threesomes? Would your boyfriend be cool with you possibly getting together with a guy as “just a friend”? And do you think that this guy would be OK with you simply meeting up with him to be “just friends” or do you think that he might assume that you are looking for something more?

This is how affairs start. One of the parties enters into an innocent friendship. Think about it.

Well, biologically and scientifically you know what your mind and body is telling you? That you feel you’re compatible. In the very true words of Freud, life is sexual.

Make sure you approach him from the side or the front, never the back.

I’d say to start the conversation with a barrage of library-related jokes. One example would be, “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the library.” Once the ice is broken and he looks up from his reading, ask him what page he’s on. No matter what he says, say that you’re on that page too. Laugh and comment about how rare that is that two people are on the same page. Then ask him what book he’s reading. Anything that sounds intellectual should illicit an “impressed” facial gesture. Make him think he’s really smart for reading a smart book. If this doesn’t work, return to telling library jokes. Humor is the good medicine for.

If you start to “observe” him and are his interests he might “notice” you and that would be creepy.
Just go and talk to him. Start from “I see you here every time I come to the library…”. Don’t start lying because one lie leads to another and soon you’ll explain things you don’t want to talk about.

Be casual about it. You know what you want, which is ‘friendship’. Keeping that in mind, I don’t think you’ll come off as ‘creepy’.
As for the approaching part, you can have conversation about the book he’s reading, recommend the what you’re reading, or anything else that comes to mind. Don’t think it through that much. Plus it’s not like you’re looking for a relationship, shouldn’t be that hard.
Good Luck!!

Do it the old fashon way…flirt with him.

If I was attracted to the guy I would have asked him out already, but I’m not. I love my boyfriend and I would never do anything to jeopardize that or any relationship. He’s fine with me having my own friends, old or new and male or female.
Asking him what time it is or what he’s reading are probably not the best questions to ask since he’s always on the computers and there are clocks everywhere. And as far as telling jokes, I suck at that. I’m not going to flirt with him either because I don’t want him to get the wrong impression. Any other suggestions?

Simply tell him he truth? That you find him an interesting person and would like to talk sometime? I don’t see anyway around it not being awkward at first but after the ice is broken and you make your intentions clear, he will either say yay or nay : )

@Kardamom Do you really think that boyfriend plan has a chance? I mean, would a boyfriend be willing to introduce his girlfriend to a guy without that being really weird and creepy? I think the guy would be just as likely to interpret that as something weird, like the girl wants him.

I think the only way this works is if you are in a group together and you start talking as a result of that. I think approaching him directly has about a 15% chance of working. Better to wait and see if something happens that makes it more natural. You’re in a library. Are there book readings or other events that you might both attend? If worst comes to worst, maybe you can organize something that would get him interested and give you a chance to meet.

@wundayatta Of course not, silly! You didn’t read what I said after that part. It was sort of meant in jest, because the whole thing seems a little odd to me.

I think the whole idea sounds weird. The OP doesn’t know the guy, but yet she finds him interesting. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

Also, most guys (not all) would probably think that the OP is interested in them as a date/boyfriend/potential sex partner if she said that she has been checking him out and finds him interesting and that she wanted to meet him and get to know him.

That would even sound weird if it was a girl, that she wanted as a friend. All of my friends have come to be my friends through an initial social interaction with them. I can’t imagine just watching a potential female friend, not knowing anything about her, and then walking up to her and saying, “Hey Lady, you look interesting, my name is Kardamom, do you mind if I get to know you?”

I guess the part that is throwing me off is why the OP thinks the fellow is interesting before she’s even met him? It makes me think that she thinks he’s physically attractive, which is cool, but in that case, she is likely to put herself and her boyfriend into a position in which someone is going to be the third wheel.

Generally, guys that become just friends are met in regular social situations, like at work, or with a group of friends or at some other social activity.

I’m not trying to rain on the OP’s parade, maybe if she could clarify it a little bit. I don’t think I’m seeing this quite right. : (

@Kardamom What exactly is so weird to you? That I’d like the opportunity to be friends with a complete stranger or that I’d like the opportunity to be friends (and friends only) with a complete stranger that is of the opposite sex? Let me ask you a question, before you get to know person, wouldn’t you say that they are a stranger? Or maybe you’re thinking, why this person? Why do I think he is so interesting? Why does it matter so much to you to know? Why this person? Why not? Why do I think he’s interesting? I don’t know. It’s hard to describe. He’s the type of person that I think most people would look at and rather not have anything to do with. Generally it is nice to be involved in some social situation where it is more acceptable to approach a person and just talk to them without it being awkward. However, what if you’re not in that type of situation, are you just supposed to ignore the people around you? Sometimes you have to create your own opportunity to get to know someone. I’m just trying to do that. I could always use more friends and I think he could too. Also, I’m pretty shy and nervous around people when I first meet them and I still don’t know what to say yet. Whether I make a new friend or not, I’m tired of sitting on the side lines. Does that answer your question?

@Ellis1919 The reason I think it’s weird is because everyone who has ever become a friend to me, has started with a real situation. I’ve never walked into a crowd and simply seen someone and thought to myself, Gee I think I’ll go up to that one because the seem interesting. I would have no way to know if the person was interesting or not until I got to talking to them, but I wouldn’t just pick someone out of a crowd for no apparent reason. I’ve met all sorts of people in all sorts of places, but the reason that I ended up conversing with the in the first place is for a bunch of reasons like: I was standing in line at the grocery store and I noticed a person had a lot of baking items, so I will ask them what they’re making, or I might be at a concert and ask the person next to me if he likes the band, or I might be in a class and ask the person at the next desk if he can explain something to me, or I might be at work and I’m trying to be polite by introducing myself to a new person, or I might be in a doctor’s waiting room and I ask the person who’s coughing if they need a tissue.

I’ve simply never walked into a random situation and had any ideas about whether a particular person was interesting or not, because, at that point, I couldn’t possibly know.

That’s all I’m saying. But you should still take into account that some people (I think most guys) will think you are interested in them as a date or a romantic situation if you tell them that you simply wanted to meet them and get to know them because they looked interesting. You may not want a relationship other than friendship, but you should be very upfront about that from the beginning (which in and of itself would be kind of a weird thing to say to someone) IMO

As a female, I would be a little bit freaked out if a man or a woman came up to me and said that I look interesting and that they would like to get to know me, but they don’t want a romantic liason. I would be wondering what in the heck is going on.

@Kardamom you’ve never just seen something in someone and thought that you’d like to get to know them? Wow, because this happens to me all the time. Usually it happens in social situations where I feel comfortable enough just to ask a question or talk to them like you yourself described, but this time nothing has come up yet.
I think it’s weird that you’d be freaked out if someone came up to you and said that you seem interesting, especially if it would be a woman. It’s not necessarily that he looks interesting, it just there’s just something about him, like he has some story to tell.

Use my brother’s skiing technique: run over to him and wipe out right in front of him. He’ll probably help you up. That’s a good start, right?

@Ellis1919 I guess I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that someone would seem interesting before you met them, unless it’s simply the way they look. How else could they seem interesting unless they had a odd aroma about them or you heard them whistling or something?

I would be completely weirded out by some random person coming up to me in that manner, unless there was some specific reason they wanted to meet me, like if they saw baking items in my grocery cart of if they heard me singing, or noticed that I was reading a particular book that they were also interested in.

I’ve had a lot of creepy encounters with men, and a small handful of creepy encounters with women, so yes, i would be creeped out.

@sliceswiththings Love it! Not sure I can pull it off, but I love the idea of it.

@Kardamom Sorry you’ve had so many creepy encounters. I hope I’m not creepy. I’m just really awkward. If you saw me and then you saw this guy I’m pretty sure you’d just laugh. You’d probably wonder what I still see in him, but I think it would be obvious that I tend to be interested in people that are not at all like me.

@Ellis1919 I’m still not quite understanding how you know or think this guys is or isn’t different from you, or is or isn’t interesting if you have not met him. You’re only seeing what he looks like (unless I’m missing something here).

And just trying to give you a heads up about how this guy might perceive your attention/advances. That’s all.

There was another young lady on this site awhile back, that did everything she could in her power to get some guy (in the library) to notice her and fall in love with her etc. He ended up avoiding her like the plague and it didn’t end well.

And I’m still curious as to what you boyfriend thinks you want from this guy, since at this point, you have only his looks to go on, and that usually signals sexual attraction.