How can I help my friend who is heartbroken and refuses to seek help?

If your friend has ever threatened to do bodily harm to himself, like “I want to kill myself”. then this is the time you reach for the phone and call the police. Threatening suicide is a crime and also grounds for the police to take him into custody for a psychological examination.

This is about the only choice you have to help your friend.

What about his family? If you can, contact them.

Depression is a chemical imbalance. He should consider medication. If he won’t see a therapist, how about his doctor?

In the end. you can do nothing except keep being his friend. Tell him he cannot run you off. that you will be there for him no matter what.

Try to get him to go out and do exercise with you. Go for a bike ride, play pick-up basketball. Exercise will raise his endorphin levels and change his outlook.

Your friend knows that this kind of pain is beyond what friends and loved ones can cope with. Your friend knows he needs to see a professional. All you can do is encourage him to go. Maybe talk through the reasons he feels reluctant.

Clearly some therapy is in order but if that is not going to happen, here are some alternatives.
You didn’t say your friend’s age. Let’s assume it is similar to yours. You can suggest a healthy activity that would benefit both of you. Guys are great like that. Hey, Can you help me move the work bench? Put up rain gutters? Go kayaking? You both get exercise and have a chance to talk in a low pressure setting.
Another challenge is to ask him to work with you so you can knock off those 10 extra pounds. Say you need to get in shape. No matter what the problem, we are in a better position to work on it when we are in shape. A walk-and-talk works wonders, too.
Do anything to get the guy out of the house, and moving. The computer and pity party websites do not help.
And please don’t let him listen to Country Western Music! That can push anyone over the edge. ;-)
Good luck! Even though he doesn’t realize it, there are women who would snap him up in a second. He needs to get his head on straight first.

Every person grieves in their own way. Why should he seek help? Have you ever considered letting him grief in his own way? He might need a lot of time but one can’t rush the process or else he’ll just show you want you want to see while still grieving.

I wouldn’t go the medicinal route. That’s just unneeded poison for the liver and kidneys to filter out. I have never met anyone who took depression medicine and it made them happy again. It always has been them having a realization that life goes on, and to not have so much control in their lives. Seriously when I was depressed, a friend inviting me out to where a lot of girls were was great. Go out to the club, some shows, or anything. Just help him live.

I’ve lived through this, a friend of mine comitted suicide over a girl. She broke off with him and immediately regreted it, wanted to get back with him. He never knew that if he had waited one more day, she was going to call him and try to work it all out with him. The point is, no one knows what tomorrow will bring, or the next day. I don’t know how to help your friend, but suicide is not the answer, it is permanant. And it devastates those left behind. People that you would not even think loved you, hurt for years after.

I know. I was the girl in the story.

@chyna That’s awful! I’m so sorry!

Suicide is never the answer, because no matter how much you think you’ve lost, there are always those left behind, who never stop mourning the loss.

And umm…. from reading a different comment… is this someone we know who is hurting over the loss of a Fluther relationship?

@chyna That is one of the most heartbreaking and painful stories I’ve heard. It takes a lot of strength to share that. I did learn a little from it. Thank you for sharing.

I am sorry for your friend. I don’t know how one should handle or even construct sentences to help a person who is so disturbed emotionally. I have never experienced such a thing. I just really hope that he gets better soon. Life is too short, we should live in the moment and embrace every second of it. I am sure that you’re doing your best to help him, just don’t give up. No matter how rude, irresponsible or unreasonable he’s being. He needs you, even if he says he doesn’t. Somehow try and show him or make him do things he’s never done before or always wanted to do. Whether it be Skydiving, bungee jumping, milking a cow, Skinny Dipping at midnight, getting a tattoo, Joining the Mile high club or being an extra in a film.
I know that the situation is very serious and my answer is a little out there, but this is the most honest advice I can give you. Make him learn how beautiful life is.
@chyna I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.