What are some behaviors and actions that you consider gentlemanly that don't fall into the "normal" gentlemanly category?

My father was harsh with me one time in my life, when I corrected someone else publicly.

He said the one mark of a gentlemen is to never point out when someone else is acting low class.

I watch to see how a guy treats the waiter/waitress. That tells me what a gentleman he is or isn’t.

Surprising me with dinner made (or at least the ground beef, onions and garlic sauteed) when I come home from a grocery shopping trip late in the afternoon.

I love it when my husband does this. Very gentlemanly if you ask me. =)

The ability and desire to make a sincere apology when it’s warranted.

Integrity

The ability of a man to show his tenderness to his children is, I think, a very gentlemanly thing. He can be very masculine, but still be tender and loving.

Men showing other men honor and respect is another gentlemanly behavior we don’t normally think of as being a gentlemanly thing to do. It’s one thing to act gentlemanly to a woman, but it’s also important for a man to be gentlemanly towards another man.

@Judi That’s pretty vague lol.

I would also say having the maturity to apologize sincerely.

Sleeping in the wet spot without fussing.

Taking the bad side of the bed (the one too close to the wall or the one without a night stand).

… a man who opens doors, picks up the check, walks a girl to her front door or gives a girl his coat is often considered a gentleman. There is also often the implication that a gentleman will avoid the topic of sex when with a girl. Nearly half the women of today would call that man a chauvinist. Another one of those traits that use to mean something when a man did it was to wait in the car, preferably if he could angle the headlights on the doorway, until she was inside, if he did not walk her to the door, which was the first choice to do. Another was to allow the woman to walk in the inside of the sidewalk, especially narrow ones. Helping her in and out of the car, especially if the vehicle is a tall one. Those are a few I would add.

@Hypocrisy_Central: I wouldn’t call it chauvinistic, but applying blanket courtship techniques without even getting to know me certainly pisses me off. :)

@filmfann: Amen.

@Hypocrisy_Central Great points. Yes, it’s really unfortunate nowadays that some people think that, and how it’s degenerated within the last few decades.

But this is what I see——some women (actually quite a few) aren’t “ladies” anymore, so how can men aspire to be gentlemen when so many women act unladylike? To me, it’s a two-way street, and if a woman wants a man to be a gentleman, she’s got to be a lady in return and accept his actions graciously and kindly.

@MRSHINYSHOES: Oh, don’t write off the majority of women just because we’re done putting energy into smushing ourselves into your stereotypical idea of a woman. :) As stated above, I’d still rather a man get to know me than use blanket courtship techniques on me. That lets me know that he’s more concerned with the fact that I have a vagina than the fact that I have a personality. :) Then again, there are lots of these so-called “gentlemen” who really do only care about that…

@KatawaGrey A lady is as a lady does and says. And if a woman doesn’t behave like a lady, why should a man be a gentleman to her? I certainly don’t want to waste my time or energy opening the door for a woman who doesn’t acknowledge my gentlemanly act by being friendly and thanking me. I’d rather let the door slam on her face. Lol.

@MRSHINYSHOES: Aw, you are a gentleman! I bet you’re one of the guys who feels horribly emasculated when a woman pays for your dinner too. LAWLS.

Like I said, a lady is as a lady speaks!

And a woman who speaks such is no lady at all.

Enough said… So long…. ;)

I think the most gentlemanly thing in the world is true respect for women. Not the show, not respect for “ladies” but for women. You just know when a man truly respects women, their personhood, their intelligence, everything about them. When a man understands that you are also someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, someone’s sister or someone’s wife, just like the women in his life and treats you accordingly.

@lillycoyote: Good answer. If only some of the “gentlemen” in the world actually understood that.

@KatawaGrey I edited. Just added a bit at the end, after you answered.

General demeanor is the clue to me. A gentleman isn’t noisy and loud. He doesn’t use profanity in polite company. He’s respectful to everyone he meets, including old ladies and service people. His politeness is easy and natural, not put on for show. He dresses appropriately for the occasion and is comfortable in any company. He doesn’t cause a scene, doesn’t start fights, doesn’t raise his voice unless it’s necessary. I’ve had the pleasure to know a lot of them, because I’ve always been a lady.

@KatawaGrey He said some (or quite a few), not majority. C’mon. @MRSHINYSHOES is basically saying don’t be a bitch if a man wants to open your door. He’s just trying to be kind! Courtship is about being kind and respectful, it’s not about stereotypes. Honestly, what is wrong with a man wanting to open a door for you? Why do you have to know someone before you do this for them? I’ll open a door for my husband and any other man. It’s kindness. That’s all it is. You are reading too much into this.

@jonsblond: I dunno, I don’t think it’s very gentlemanly to slam a door in someone’s face just because they didn’t say thank you. Then again, that’s just me. I don’t like slamming doors in people’s faces. Also, if you’ll read his answers again, you’ll note that he says some women (actually quite a few) aren’t “ladies” anymore. I don’t understand how “quite a few” doesn’t count as the majority.

@MRSHINYSHOES I always thank a man for opening a door for me. It’s just common courtesy. I just think a true gentleman, unless given a good reason to do otherwise, treats women the way he would want another man to treat his sister, wife, girlfriend, daughter or mother.

@KatawaGrey um, he lol’d. do you not get a joke? And I don’t consider quite a few as majority. Key word- few. It may be many, but it’s not most.

@jonsblond: Wait, so lol’ing makes everything okay? Then why are you getting up in my face? I lol’d too! LOL!

Wait, oops, sorry, I said LAWLS. Maybe that’s not the same?

@KatawaGrey lol, yeah, it does. He’s a good guy and I hate seeing good guys get slammed.

@jonsblond We all love @MRSHINYSHOES! He’s just kind of fun to kick around sometimes. We scuff up our shoes but his always shine. He’s a good sport; one of the reasons we love him!

I consider being gentle with animals and children to be something a real man would embody.

Letting ladies beat you at golf, they’re such sweet, gentle, fragile little things…...bless ;¬}

When a guys stands up for what is right, no matter who or what it is concerned.
And if he can forget his machismo and show some concern for the lady.

@tiny Totally agreed.

I love ya @MRSHINYSHOES, but glad they are scuffing their shoes on you and not me for a change! Bahaha Bahahaha Bahahaha…...OK, I am done…wait Bahaha har har har.

I’d consider it “gentlemanly” if a man would show me we are equals, by letting me pay my half of the bill, for example.

The biggest thing I think I would appreciate from a guy is if he would hear me out when I’m anxious about something. Just listen.