Is doing laundry, preparing meals and dishwashing qualify as romantic in a relationship?

Yes. As does vacuuming and taking out the trash. ;)

EDIT: Fluther is my momentary break between homeschooling, preparing food, laundry, taking the dogs out, tidying-etc. It’s always nice to get a hand with the housework

When you’re doing it to help your spouse, yeah.

Err, lemme think ….... (nsfw-ish)

Maybe loving but hardly romantic.

Well, my husband would say there is cariño in those things. Which translates to love and caring. I usually make his lunch, and when he gets stuck taking a frozen meal, when I ask him how did he like it, even if he liked it, he says it was missing the cariño.

Not unless you are doing it naked.

How about this one small change in the main question: When a man is doing laundry, preparing meals and dishwashing does it qualify as romantic in a relationship? I’m still not sure it qualifies as romantic, but I think for a lot of women they would be more inclined to feel romantic, if you know what I mean.

I would agree with your sentiments on that @JLeslie. I know my wife LOVES it when I cook or help her clean around the house and certainly opens the door to feeling less stressed, loved and that can lead to a romantic evening together.

If you make it so. Anything can be romantic.

@Cruiser Exactly. The chores themselves aren’t romantic, but they facilitate romance by reducing stress on your partner.

My wife recently “retired,” and now that she’s home all the time, she’s trying to take my jobs from me—cooking, arranging the repairs for house and car, purchasing my clothes, and probably a number of other things. It bothers me. I like doing the things I do, and I have certain tastes in food that I am really the only one that can create. So I’m not sure I like her doing stuff I do. Not only that, but it feels like she’s preparing to be able to do without me, which is weird. I don’t like her planning for my imminent death or divorce, for that matter.

I mean, in theory, I want her to be able to multi-task and to have many capabilities, but at the same time I feel like I’m being put out of business or made redundant. Besides, she may also go back to work, and then all of a sudden I’ll have to take on all this work again. That will kind of make me resentful. I’d rather never give up the work than see it come crashing on down on me some day.

So I guess I don’t find these tasks to be romantic. I think they are more about security and having a place in the world. Yes, a little appreciation here and there is nice. But don’t take away my job. Just don’t do it!

OMGoodness, @wundayatta, I really get what you are saying. My husband retired in March. I have had to remind him that I retired seven years ago and my career and since then has been taking care of the household. That is my job and I haven’t retired from that.

In my case it isn’t so much that he wants to take over my household work, but he wants me to go and do things with him 24/7. Hey, I have a job to do and a schedule to keep. I go with him and do things, but it really throws off my routine. lol

It can be. Back when I was dating my ex boyfriend, he loved cooking for me, and I loved cleaning up his messy ass apartment. All those simple things seemed all magical and like, fuzzy hearted and shit.

Sometimes for me it has been. I did these things on occasion when I first was dating my bf since he wasn’t a an expert bachelor. He appreciated it very much and thought it was “spoiling” to come home to a clean apt., clean organized clothes, clean kitchen, little noshes. It was romantic enough that I was often treated out to fabulous dinners and excursions.

We tend to look at anything we do to make day to day easier, more comfortable, more efficient, more attractive as something that adds romance because it has seemed to make more time to make romance :)

@wundayatta Maybe you need to redistribute the chores so you still get to cook half the time, and whatever else might feel more right to you. The deal I made with my husband before we married was no one should have to work more hours than the other. When we both worked full time he did the laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, even ironed his own shirts and prepared his lunch if he brought it with him to work. When I went part time I took over the laundry (not the ironing) and the dishwasher. A few years later I was working full time again, and he immediately picked up the laundry and dishwasher again. We have gone back and forth a few times. The reason he did the laundry was because that was the thing he didn’t mind doing, he really didn’t want to clean a bathroom. I hate unloadung the dishwasher, so he was willing to do that for me. Now I don’t work and I do everything except he washes his cars and cuts the lawn.

If you haven’t talked to your wife yet, let her know the things you really liked doing previously, and see if she can do some other chore you would like her to do.