What kind of behaviour by a guest would have to happen at a party for you to be upset enough to call the guest on their behaviour?

It would be something that I noticed upset multiple people at once. Like a really crude joke that just brought down the energy of the whole room.

I agree with @Blackberry. Someone offending multiple people and ruining the overall experience for people attending the party. I wouldn’t ‘berate’ them though. If I did something, it would be to pull them on one side and privately let them know they were upsetting people and to ask them to stop.

I’m glad to say I have friends that do not take offense from rude jokes or similarities.
When I tell a guest about their behavior it’s mainly because they ruin my house not because of attitude problems.

Someone tearing up my house, or being obnoxious or extremely rude to another guest.

Blatantly racist or sexist remarks.

If they were disrespectful of anyone or anything to a point that it caused a scene.

If they dropped their orange prison pants to their ankles…..That would do it too.

Like the others have written, it would take someone that upset other guests or theft/destruction of my property. Luckily, I’ve no one in my life that would cause this. knocks on wood

I’m pretty lenient, just because my husband’s friends are a bunch of whackadoos. However, when one particularly drunken jerk stole bottle of vodka and broke one of my cocktail glasses, Hubby (literally) threw him out the front door.

That’s the only time I remember actually ejecting someone from a social gathering.

Anybody that starts bothering the other guests gets pulled aside discretely. If the behavior continues… They get asked to leave. If they resist, they are bodily thrown from the premises.

being a large man has it’s advantages

A guest who commits any one or a combination of these——uses profanity, gets drunk, becomes violent, destroys property, shows disrespect——in other words, acts like a total a-hole.

I got sent an nasty e-mail because I didn’t go into the kitchen to talk to the hostess. Then hubby calls and berates me for not helping her out. She had been pretty rude to me on the phone the week before and I went to the party mainly so my son could play with their son as they hadn’t seen one another in a long time. I generally offer to help every host/hostess but not when they are rude to me.

WTF? They were friends but not anymore.

My rule for bad behaviour lines up with all of what you all have written above. These people have issues.

@MRSHINYSHOES

Hm… the first three just sound like getting the neighbors together to watch football. Are they really dealbreakers for you?

@Seek_Kolinahr

Yes, I have a low tolerance for morons.

Note to self: BYOB when visiting @MRSHINYSHOES

@tranquilsea they do seem to have issues for sure. It sounds like you are taking appropriate action.

I had a party for my son when he was little and was quite perplexed when some of the parents (about four) arrived with their own alcohol and proceeded to sit down at the table outside and drank their grog and had their own little party and expected me to serve them chips and cake etc. I didn’t say anything but it was very odd. What can you do, people are strange!!

Unless it is a children’s party@MRSHINYSHOES people getting drunk at a party seems to be pretty well par for the course to me. Not something I tend to do I have to say but I don’t like getting drunk. As long as they aren’t abusive and violent, happily drunk wouldn’t bother me at all.

Dude, those people are nuts.

@tranquilsea: I’d lose those people as acquaintances, pretty quick. Your son can find other kids to hang out with?

I will completely loose it if I find that someone is pissing in the sink. It’s DEFCON 12 pretty.

@woodcutter With re-cycled beer. Yuck. lol

Pretty much anything that comes out would be recycled something. My luck it would be asparagus. Shudders.

@woodcutter Recycled asparagus? Isn’t that what they call “baby food”? Lol.

@tranquilsea Why would any sane person expect an invited guest to assist in any way with their party?

@MRSHINYSHOES You don’t know the asparagus and pee lore? Someone help me us.

@woodcutter Not at all. What is that?

@SpatzieLover, I think this might be one of those regional/cultural things. In my upbringing, there was a clear division between guests and hosts. The hosts entertained, supplied the food, served, etc., and the guests allowed them to do that. Unless an event was explicitly designated a potluck, no one brought food or beverages—the hosts controlled the menu, chose and prepared all dishes, and decided how and when they were served.

When I arrived in California, I was surprised to find that guests routinely bring something to add to the table. I’m still ill at ease with this. When I’m the guest, I don’t expect to do the cooking. When I’m the host, I don’t really want others in my kitchen, nor do I want to be forced to incorporate into the menu something that may or may not compliment what I have planned. I’m especially put out when I have prepared something that is preempted by something someone has brought—say, a dessert that they expect to see served in place of the one I have prepared.

As a guest I’m not entirely comfortable with the “après-vous” “no, après-vous” routine of negotiation: “Can I bring something?” “No, nothing—just come” (but you must bring something anyway—which you have to guess at blindly because the hosts have withheld any sort of hints, and you mustn’t show up empty-handed).

I think there may be many variations on these customs among different ethnic groups, within vs. outside the family, etc., and they all make me uncomfortable because it seems hard to avoid being wrong. One of the down sides of a heterogeneous society.

I’m pretty tolerant of people around my house, as long as they’re not being insulting to one another or bothering the Cats or helping themselves to my whiskey for that matter….. Opening my doors is not something I do often these days, I rarely get time off for social gatherings :-/ I’m usually the one doing the visiting these days.

@tranquilsea that is some crazy sh*^t and complete disrespect of you as a friend and person.

I’m still rather stunned by it. We travel in the same social circles and apparently she’s telling anyone who’ll listen that I “came, talked to the other guests, ate their food and left” but in a really angry tone. Unless I was transported to some other country I’m <insert sarcasm> pretty sure that’s exactly what a guest is supposed to do.

The hubby had the nerve to ask me if I was going to stand in the way of our sons’ friendship.

I think I somehow became the “whipping boy” in that relationship. I’ll have none of that. Those people have issues.

They’re nuts but how unpleasant!

@janbb I know. The sad, sad, SAD thing about it is our kids are friends. But these people are so difficult to get along with that I cannot continue talking to them so the kids friendship will die.

That is sad.

@tranquilsea that is terrible collateral damage

I was at a friends house today and the consensus is that she targeted me to try to wedge me out of the group. She didn’t care that the kids were involved. The lady has Issues.

This has been a drama for 9 months now. I’m an so glad that we, as a family, don’t have to deal with it anymore.

Lucky you U.S.A. she’s thinking that she’ll move down to the States now that she burned through all her friends here.

I would get kicked out of @MRSHINYSHOES’ house, like, immediately. “Hi, Mr. SS! Hey, where should I put all this beer? It weighs a fucking ton.” ~

As others have said, the behavior would have to be pretty darn bad to get reprimanded or kicked out of my house. Though we did kick one drunk dude out for getting all obnoxiously anti-gay, and that was just in the presence of myself and my husband. Mark just stood up and said, “I think it’s time for you to go now.”, and the guy slunk out. Being married to a large man has its advantages, too!

These people are definitely over-the-top, @tranquilsea. You’ll be much better off without them in your life.