Would you get angry for this?

Upset? No!
Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say? Yes, with bells on!!

I wouldn’t get mad. I’d cool off real fast. I wouldn’t say a word to her until she sought me out to explain.

Depends. Why are they having dinner? How long ago did they break up? Probably I am upset, but there are instances where I would not be. Why aren’t you invited also?

But I texed her back saying that I was not mad….but I was obviously. Was I being too soft?

@Eggie No. You are not being too soft. Is it just going to be a one time thing. The guy is in town or something?

Well yes he is….he spoke to her online and he texed her happy birthday..which was yesterday.

“Sounds great hun, have a good time… I think I’ll just stay in, get drunk on whiskey and maybe bareback a callgirl, give me a call when you get back.”

I’d bow out gracefully, and now. If you don’t, she’ll expect you to take insult after insult. You back out now, you can always get back together later, but at least she’ll know what the line is.

So he is taking her out for her birthday? Do you know why he is her ex? Did he break off the relationship or did she? As far as you know, are they friends? I would just ask her, when with her in person, not in a text or phone call if she was just having dinner with a “friend” or if she was getting back with her ex.

Have they remained friends more than “exes”? If yes then I wouldn’t worry about it.

If they aren’t good friends then my first thought would be the girl is going out with me sort of as a rebound, someone to pass time with while she figures out her and her ex’s relationship plans. If she hasn’t given you a back story on the two of them and then says this to you… that says to me she’s letting you know you aren’t her main dating focus. I’d be a little annoyed.

@Eggie I think he should have invited you. If it were me, I would tell her it makes you uncomfortable, because you think it disrespectful of him to take her out excluding you. That you question his intention, but trust her. If he tries something she will see she was foolish to go out on that date.

And this was my text message…...“You looked pretty this evening….dont worry im not mad at you”....I totally was too nice there…its like I encouraged it….dammmnnnn

@Eggie No no, stop beating yourself up. Really. It’s ok. You can’t forbid her. If he is in from out of town, he is likely just seeing her to catch up. Sure there is a chance there is a little sexual tension there, because they are exes, but I think it is very likely nothing will happen.

Does anyone else think that I wasnt encouraging it?

@Eggie: Does she consider herself your gf and you her bf? If yes then she might have asked you how you felt about the ex asking her to dinner. I don’t think you encouraged anything at all. From what you wrote it seems she was informing you of what she’d already decided to do, regardless of how it would make you feel.

That would not happen in any relationship that I was staying in.

Better alone than in bad company.

She knows that I like her, but she doesnt really consider me as a bf….she bought dinner for me last night and told me that I was bordering on the verge of being a friend…but then today she wanted to hang out with me and told me that her ex boyfriend was taking her out for ice cream and I grew quiet and she asked me what was wrong and I said nothing….but she told me that I looked upset and I said well I was because you know I like you and you are going out with your ex boyfriend…and then I told her that wouldnt you be upset if you liked a guy and he told you he was going out with his ex….and she said yes.

Good for you @Eggie to as gently as possible tell her exactly what’s on your mind. Whether she intends to keep you in the friend zone or not, now she’ll know to think carefully when it comes to your feelings that are more for her than just friends.

You are being a doormat and time for you to slam the door on this girl who obviously has other interests at heart.

CRUISER!!!

@Eggie Well, you aren’t the first one to be second guessing yourself…“I should have said this, I should have said that…” you’re in the company of every human who has lived on this earth since humans began. It’s….something to store away for the future. You need to get the relationship defined. If that doesn’t happen, you need to chill and just…hang out and meet other women.
This too shall pass. And you’ll be wiser for it.

If she were to be my “girl” I wouldn’t mind even if she were to spend time with her ex. I trust her so it’s all god.
If she’s not my “girl” then why should I be upset because she chose to share how she will spend her time. I mean she doesn’t need to say/explain/do anything with me so I should be glad she wanted to spend time with me. [keep in mind this is for “not being by girlfriend part”]

Yes, I’d be upset, and justifiably so. Why would she want to have dinner with her ex? Ex means ex, as in “excised”, no more, kaput!

I’d question her about it for sure, and ask her why she wants to do that and what is her intention. If she doesn’t give you a good answer, then I’d seriously re-consider my relationship with her.

Well, with that new information, I say you need to make some sort of official move, right now she is still a free agent.

Don’t let her string you along is all I warn.

Still sounds like she won’t be getting back with this other guy.

I go out with ex’s all the time. Am I getting them in trouble?

Do I feel strongly enough for this girl that there’s a chance I might fall in love? If yes then I’ll have my date with her, make it so special that she will cancel her meeting with the ex. And if it doesn’t work just make sure she had a good time and offer to drive her if she needs a ride. Think John Cusack in Say Anything, dude. Classy and cool in an effortless way. Lol. : )

It sounds to me like you were aiming to be mature about the whole thing. Whether that was the right response depends on her past and present relationship with her ex. As has been asked already, are they and have they continued to be friends? Sometimes people go out with each other, realise it isn’t right and become what they probably should have always been, friends? Or are either of them still carrying a flame for the other? If it is the former, I doubt you have anything to worry about. If it is the latter, then yes you do. Only one way to know, and that is to talk to your girlfriend about it and find out more. Then decide if you want to continue with your relationship with this girl or not. Behaving maturely is never a bad thing @Eggie. At least you don’t have ‘egg’ on your face, you can calmly find out more and then respond accordingly.

Wait, so she’s not your girlfriend? If you and her aren’t exclusive, then sorry pal but you really have no reign over her. Would I be down trodden, a bit, but I’d rather see the gal I love (if we’re not exclusive) happy than considering my opinion only to stop herself from having a good time.

Having re-read your posts @Eggie, prompted by @King_Pariah (and thank you for the heads-up), I agree with him. She can do whatever she wants.

No, I’d be understanding, which is why, when I was dating, I was constantly shat on.

My boyfriend has dinner with his ex-wife once in a while. It doesn’t bother me. They broke up for a reason.

If it’s someone I like but we’re not dating, that really isn’t any of my business. I might feel a lot of negative things, but you gotta deal with it.
Hell if I was dating someone that wanted to go out to dinner with their ex, why not? Maybe they’re still friends. That doesn’t mean an automatic cheat sentence.

If she was going to fuck the dude you wouldn’t have been told about the dinner.

Yes, I would be upset but, if we are not actually in a relationship then it is none of my business who they have dinner with.

Sounds like a head game to me..didn’t you say something about you getting really quiet and her asking, “What’s wrong?” Sounds like she’s trying to provoke you. Not cool.