How often do you think one night stands happen in America and for what reason mostly?

I think there are 43,572 one night stands each on Friday and Saturday nights in the US, and they all involve alcohol.

@Hawaii_Jake 43,572?! Man, I feel so left out…

There are about 310 million people in America. So that actually very little. :-) Don’t feel bad.

I know it happens quite a bit. Whenever my unit is deployed the stories start rolling in about wives and girlfriends, husbands and boyfriends “getting lonely”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to console both male and female soldiers for stupid things their significant others have done. I have to somehow help get them through. Here they are getting shot at and driving over IED riddled roads while their significant others are having a grand old time back in the states. Nothing could make me sicker.

Of course, this isn’t exactly on par with the question.. but I had to get that off my chest. Thanks. =)

Maybe when people want adventures or just simple flings.

I’m not sure how often this happen but there a re quite a bunch of people who do it on a regular basis.

@mazingerz88 you know this question came to my mind this morning when I was in the shower…. it also had me thinking about why it is that if the woman wants it then shes a slut or easy but yet a guy is revered for it

@digitalimpression Those people who sleep with a serviceperson’s SO are the worst kind. I remember reading an article and there was a word military personnel use to refer to them. Just can’t remember now but I could recall it was apt.

@creative1 Now that you mentioned it, I wonder if my friends did not just want me to think of them that way. Regarding the slut vs Adonis labels, I’m not pulling a double standard there. I believe single women should prowl like single guys do as long as they can handle it. No drama, no unsafe sex.

@mazingerz88 I’ve got quite a few terms in mind but I’ll keep them to myself. wink

@digitalimpression The word at the tip of my tongue is quite printable. I’ll surf for it.

I’m an American woman, 44yrs old and of the few sexcapades that for whatever reason ended up being “one night stands”, only one of them did I go into it knowing that. Yes, I believe most women who have sex with someone are hoping that person turns out to be more than a flash in the pan.

@digitalimpression Word. I was even invited to go to a wife’s house on base and hang out because her husband was deployed. There was a guy on my ship whose wife was smashed a few times while we were out to sea for a month.

I expect they happen most every night. Most every day, too.

Your friends are 30 and 34 and 45. Go to a college town and ask a 20, 24, and 25 year-old. I’m sure you will get different answers.

I imagine, based on my youth that most one night stands occur between younger people. If you are over 30 and still having one night stands, get some help. haha

For the most part only young women do the one night stand thing, and I don’t think most of them do it often. I would say over the age of 30 very few women want or have one night stands.

@Coloma Jinx.

I know I’ve not had a one night stand I just got thinking about the double standards between men and women and this thought came to my mind because there is such a double standard how its looked at. But @Coloma now this gets me wondering why your saying to get help if your over 30??? If someone is doing that and is not wanting a relationship and fully protected I don’t see an issue with it regardless of age or what sex they are they should only have themselves to answer to and if it don’t bother the parties invovled then all the power to them.

@creative1 Most women in retrospect wish they hadn’t had the one night stands in there teens and 20’s, so if they continue to do it in their 30’s then something isn’t right. The ones that have one night stands, because they want to, well they probably have some sort of relationship phobia, anxiety, something, that they need to work on. Or, not, not everybody has to be in a relationship in my opinion. But, if they want to get some sex every so often I would rather a friend with benefits than some random guy. I mean think about, a woman can go home with a guy and get assaulted, she doesn’t know him. It’s not like high school and college when your at a party and someone knows him.

@JLeslie most assualts like your describing happen in colleges and some even happen in high schools so just because their young and think they know the guy from being on a campus daily doesn’t mean a woman won’t be assulted.

@creative1 I completely agree. Probably more 20 year olds are putting themselves in stupid positions with guys they don’t really know, which goes back to young women doing stuff like this more often than women over 30.

@creative1

I’m being somewhat humorous, but, I think there is a big difference between conscious choice and a certain lifestyle that usually means one has deeper issues if it’s a longstanding pattern of behavior. I think being celebate is always preferable to exploiting or being exploited.
I just have my doubts that being chronically promiscuious is healthy.

I think it is pretty common in women who go to bars. And also with small groups of women who go on vacation together. Hawaii, Cancun, Club Meds, it’s like women feel free to have sex without worrying about any reputation or implications.

@zenvelo Huh? I competely disagree.

@Coloma I think the health concerns fall to both men and women….. Both should be conscience of it and just sleeping around for the sake of it isn’t healthy especially if its unprotected sex.

It just cracks me up though all the double standards that are placed on women and that was the only point I was thinking about. Regardless of age a man isn’t judged negatively for sleeping around and in some circles he is given high fives from his friends. I just never understood it. Why aren’t they frowned upon and thought of as male sluts when they just hop from bed to bed.

@creative1

Yep, no double standards, and, IMO, male or female you disgrace your own gender, shame on you. lol

@JLeslie We can disagree, my estimate is strictly anecdotal. The percentage of women who go to bars is probably lower than most people think. And not that many women go to resorts just with other women.

How often, I have no idea. It is probably more than the females you list think. I doubt they would have admitted it, nor do they need to.
Outside of the obvious alchohol thought, there still are reasons behind such a choice.
For one night stands, most guys just want sex, while women go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable. While i think there is some of the same going on from men relative to wanting to feel flattered there is a real underlying reality that men drop their standards for a one-night stand.
The morning after however is a whole different thing. Women have so much more a risk and responsibility to bear. Most Men feel and do just walk away.
The repeat effect also plays into this in that a woman is more apt to feel used where a man may feel more a sense of success.
Other reasons stem from revenge, lonliness, liberation, and risk taking.

More often than people realize.

“Men want sex, women want love.” If we weren’t governed by the institution of marriage or laws, we men would be out pillaging entire villages for sex like the Vikings did.

Of course what I said is an overstatement, but there is a ring of truth to it, even in today’s modern society.

I can’t say how often, but I (a female) had plenty of them, knowingly. I enjoyed most of them immensely, too. I know that, for me, it had a lot to do with feeling powerful, and taking back control over my own sexuality (I was sexually abused for years as a child).

@zenvelo When I go with my girlfriends for a girls weekend our oal is not men, it is to be with each other. But we are old, 40’s. I don’t think anyone over the age of 20 is worried about reputation, except for women who actively pursue and sleep around with married men.

@creative1 If you think men worry as much as women about health concerns related to sex, then you know a different group of men than I do.

@augustlan Do you think that kind of supports what @Coloma and I said, that women who tend to have one night stands have something going on? Might be an abusive past, or avoiding committment, or something? I’m excluding teens, teens do all sorts of stuff for a variety of reasons.

@zenvelo “Women who go to bars?” I’m a 30 year old woman and every woman I know, from my hardest partying friend to my happily married, most conservative friend are “women who go to bars.” I wonder if you’re not stereotyping?

I think the answer to this question is as varied as the answers to the “what do women want?” or “what do guys find attractive?” kind of questions. Some women go out looking for NSA sex every night. Some never consider it. Most fit into the huge range of possibilities in the middle.

So, what I’m gathering from the answers here so far:

-Women have to have some kind of problem to enjoy having one night stands with multiple partners (especially over the age of 30)?

-Women that do usually fail to use protection and/or are setting themselves up to be abused.

@quiddidyquestions There is definitely a lot of stereotyping happening here.

@zenvelo I forgot to mention exactly what @quiddidyquestions just did. I met my husband at a bar. Neither of us drink much, neither of us are one nighter people. I have been going clubbing since I was 16, and only once did a girl we came with not come back home with us and went home with a guy, and we were all freaked she did it! I didn’t know her, she was a friend of a friend.

@fizzbanger Wait, who said they don’t use protection? I missed that part. And no, not that they are setting themselves up to be abused. They are taking a risk being alone with someone they barely know. It’s two different things.

@JLeslie @creative1 mentioned unprotected sex as a health concern.

And who said it had to be with someone they barely know?

@fizzbanger I thought the definition of a one night stand is someone you barely know. Of course there is the one night of sex at some party with someone you know or have seen around. What exactly are you thinking of when someone says one night stand? People on here are commenting about bars, trips, young women who do get assaulted at college.

If you know the person well, why is it only one night?

Unprotected sex is a concern for everyone, not just one night stands. My comment about guys being less worried goes for the majority of guys in all sexual situations to my knowledge.

@JLeslie perhaps it is to satisfy a curiosity… perhaps you have a flirtation going on with a friend or a casual acquaintance (someone you see around enough to not be an obvious date rapist or something). If it’s one night… well the sex may not have been that good :)

All I’m saying is, I hate these broad generalizations people carry around in their brains (the bars, etc).

Of course guys are less worried… girls have to worry about the stigma associated with being labeled as a slut. Which, I guess, would be more of an issue for a woman hunting for a relationship being worried about a potential future spouse’s opinion of her.

Um… as far as the over 30 thing goes – I don’t see how age has anything to do with it, except for people over 30 that are married and cheat on their spouses with “one night flings”. That’s a different topic altogether.

@fizzbanger Again, as far as I am concerned I don’t think anyone out of high school is worried about being a slut. I said worry and STD’s. Most heterosexual men I know do not worry. They don’t believe they can get AIDS, they think they know a diseased girl when they see her. Most men do not tell each other when they get an STD, so they are clueless how often it happens, while girls tell their girlfriends. Men can’t even get tested for HPV. Men are more likely to be asymptomatic, or ignore symptoms, while women, get sick, become infertile, and sometimes wind up dying.

@JLeslie Yes, STDs are certainly bad, aren’t they?

walks away from topic

@JLeslie I don’t know, really. I’m sure there are plenty of women who are just fine and enjoy one-night stands. Even though I know that my personal situation likely had something to do with my mental state, I am also one of those people who has no trouble with the idea of separating sex from love. For people like me, one night stands can be just as simple as “Sex feels good. I’d like to have some right now.”

Did @fizzbanger walk away because he doesn’t want to think about the STD’s? That’s my point if he is a guy.

@augustlan I believe there are women who can separate the sex and the love. Probably many can in the right circumstances. Maybe it depends to what degree, how often the behavior is happening, and if it is the only connection with men the woman has.

Some drinking, some revenge. Neither one is ever a good idea.

@JLeslie I’m a girl. I was annoyed because you started in on STD’s. Nothing to do with the discussion. That is all :)