Vicarious Visitors?

Do what I do and don’t open the door.

I am going to assume you are referring to relatives?

The problem is not with the constant stream of nosy visitors- the problem is that you are not taking control of the situation and saying “No”

In order to have your privacy and your home respected you need to assert yourself. Lay down the visit rules on your own terms and enforce them- even if it means closing the door and using the lock.

you gotta be mean. tell them to f*@% off. be really rude. pass gas .

Tell then they need to call before coming over. It’s alot easier to tell someone on the phone that you aren’t up for company than to their face. My daughter has done that with much success. Her friends all know that if they pop in without calling, she will not open the odor.

It’s the rest of the family that’s encouraging this. They expect me to help entertain once they arrive. It’s relatives, coworkers, and friends. The only method I’ve found that worked well in the past is to leave the house when I catch wind that visitors are coming. I don’t suppose there’s much more I can do, is there?

Are your visitors expected? If not stand at the door and don’t invite them in. If they persist tell them you are busy right now and you will call them later.

Regardless of what others expect of you you need to be assertive- unless of course you prefer to flee your own home rather than getting a backbone.

Nobody can take advantage of you unless you let them.

@oldog Agreed. Step up and let your family know that you don’t like unexpected visits and the least they could do is ask if you would help to entertain their company.

As long as you let someone take advantage of your kindness they will continue to do so…

psyla
When you say ‘family’, are we talking parents or spouse/partner? If the latter, you probably should let them know you don’t want these visitors, but if they do come around, help entertain – for his/her sake.
Nothing drives me more insane than having people come around and my husband decides this is a good time to go do that quest in WoW…..who says I feel like entertaining?? The least he can do is take the bullet with me!

You have to either set up some clear boundaries with these people or stock up on party foods and give in to them and be miserable. This is your home, and they should abide by your rules. Put your foot down. It is not rude of you to not entertain unexpected guests, but it is very rude of them to expect you to do so. There is nothing wrong with saying to them: “I love having your company, but I really wish you would call before coming.” You should not have to duck out or hide in your own home.

Lock the door and hide!