If girls/women are more interested in pleasing men than the other way around, what are the consequences?

I guess that might be because of the dominant role the man has played through history (and still does in many situations.) If you look at any stories from the past, e.g. the Yellow Wallpaper (by Charlotte Perkins Gilman), you can see how much man has dominated and controlled women. Although the situation is significantly more equal, it isn’t 100% so.

I’m taking a shot in the dark from observations and experience. Most women tend to be the ones that can’t be liberal with sex unless it’s with their special guy that they only want. Essentially, most women feel the need to be in a monogamous relationship, and they want to do whatever they can to please their partner because they don’t want to lose them. I’ve heard too many women say things like “I want to show you how much a care for you”, and “I want to please you enough because I want you to stay around.”

Most men don’t care for monogamy, so they don’t care as much about satisfying just this one person when they can move on to another and please them as well? I don’t know.

@28lorelei Do you have some insight into why man has played a dominant role?

I guess that would come from hunter-gatherer times, when men had to go out to hunt and women would generally stay around camp and care for the children. For this reason, men are generally physically taller and stronger than women, I guess.

Are girls more interested in being “good girls” than boys are interested in being “good boys?” I.e, do men have this aura of privilege where they expect women to say “yes” to them, whereas men do not feel the same obligation to say “yes” to women nearly as often, on average?

Just in my experience it’s pretty equal but then most of the women I’m close with are pretty strong willed. From a greater distance I’d say on average men at least _think they have an “aura of privilege”. Though how far that goes and how it changes within each relationship I couldn’t say._

Can women even pressure men at all?
Sure.

Do men and women use different strategies to pressure the other?
Likely, but I’d say it’s probably more of a “what works best for me” kind of thing but then exposure and observation of various strategies also applies.

What are those strategies?
To each their own, but guilt seems to be played well by both sides as does bargaining. In a more positive way, mutual respect, affection, and empathy play a roles too.

Why do men feel more privileged when it comes to expecting things from women?
I don’t feel more privileged so I can’t really give you much here. But at least part of my view comes from consistently having relationships at all levels with women who knew what they wanted and why and weren’t afraid to say as much – I appreciate that. So perhaps, to one extent or another, something of that is lacking at various points for those who do feel privileged.

I have 4 brothers and I watched each of them in the ways they each delt with women most of my life. One was a player, a total ladies man that was adored, chased and showered with whatever he wanted from whomever he wanted it.

I have another who is the oldest who although shows good face, he is a sneak and a liar and had affairs behind his wifes back possibly even a secret love child?

I have yet another who is abusive and basically a real jerk and no one should date him in life period…

and another who we like to call “baby Huey.” *See old cartoon of the same name. THis one has a mother complex and adopts older women as comfort and behaves like a child within the relationship, usually with older women.

As for me… I watched an over bearing liar of a man in my father, completely abuse a wonderful stunningly beautiful woman and he ruined her from the inside out. My brothers took what was left of her heart and her sanity in their incessent neediness and selfishness with her time, energy and care.

Me… I’m just a damn mess. I have been abused by every kind of man (all of the above and a few kinds I think I invented?) Since I was 16 years old.

Nuff said?

The relationships between men and women are quite subtle and women are content to let men appear to have their own way as long as they know they can influence them when it matters. Men can pressure women into sex but it is more fun for both parties when the atmosphere is right, which is generally when the woman feels her needs are being met.

Ego is the main issue for all men on earth. Usually, men like to manipulate women into giving them sex and don’t usually hang around with women who say no to sex to them.

@Londongirl Jaded much?

@Blackberry I’m a free girl in London, so I do what I please! :) I do like men who take ‘no’ in good gentlemanly manner though, and you can really tell whether the man is a real gentleman or not by saying ‘no’.

The first thing I thought of while reading your question is that women can’t pressure men into having sex b/c men don’t really need to be pressured, they are hard-wired to reproduce, thus it is alot easier to get one to just say yes!

Dire, my dear girl. Dire.

As for expectations… maybe I’m just a perfectly decent woman who has never f*cked around (pardon me) but I don’t feel that many expectations on me. My BF is wonderful in the kitchen, in the sack, and every other possible place. And me.. well, I don’t know what to say for myself.. I suppose I just drive him wild in some sense or another. Also, the few things I am able to cook aren’t horrible.

Also, I’d say that if I’m in the mood, I expect my man to say ‘yes’ to me, in whatever way it requires for him to respond..

Oh girls! Women should become more like men. That has always been my theory. Listen, my honeys.. Oh dear, if you feel that boy you like wants something special from you and you’re not ready to give it and you’re afraid to give it.. DON’T GIVE IT. And stop being a whiny fuking bitch about it. Don’t feel sorry for men. For the most part, they don’t really feel sorry for you at the moment of wanting to get into your pants when you feel uncomfortable (but wanting to yield). Let me give you little honeys a solid piece of advice. The only thing you should yield to are your morals. I may be an old school prudery, but listen.. when a man calls you a frigid bitch consider it a compliment. It just means you didn’t give him what he wanted, and consider yourself accomplished for it. A real man, one capable of taking care of you, will appreciate it.

*

Generally, men are driven by sex, women by love. That’s why men have always been the dominant ones. But because men seek to please women more than the other way around, they are often given a bad rap for it. When women seek love from men, most people find that acceptable and don’t see it as a negative thing. I think if women started to seek men to please them, it would be very stimulating for us men and we would love the attention.

The way I have observed it while working in the salon those years I had, was that men pressure and women influence. Men prey on the underlying fear of most women about being alone and not connected to a _special person. Women influence men into making choices they want them to have by using sex appeal. It doesn’t work all the time, if the man feels he is more lucky to have her, she wears the pants. If she feels more scared to be alone than he, then he can run the show. But overall, what I seen most is that a man will keep a woman around because it is more convenience to satisfy the loins, where a woman will have a man around more to satisfy the feeling.

@Hypocrisy_Central I like that answer.