I asked a related question recently, but I didn’t answer my own question. Thanks for the chance.
I think there is a movement backwards in feminism. Girls these days, on average, are moving either back towards more traditional roles, or they never left traditional roles. Perhaps the movement towards equality that started in the sixties was all sturm and no drang, if you know what I mean (a lot of fuss, but no real change).
I think women, in general, like the role of passivity. They like men catering to them. They like dates being paid for and doors being held and men thinking about them in romantic ways and romantic proposals. This shows them the man cares and is thinking of them. For some reason, they feel entitled.
I think that women do this because they believe they have won the battle for equality. Now they can go back to the old “perks” and still get equal pay or have equal say. But they are fooling themselves. I think what happens is that this sets up a situation where women take back seat. They are passive. They wait for the man to take the lead. I think women fool themselves about equality.
When men take the lead on all these symbolic things, it sets up a pattern so that when women are in marriages or at work, they have a tendency to accept the leadership of men. Even in relationships, I think they expect the man to tell them what to do so they don’t have to think too much about it. They generally have decided to agree to what a man says and this leads to some problems. If men insist on sex, women have a harder time saying no when they don’t want to do it. In their minds, men have greater rights then they do. Somehow, they owe men.
I also think this works on a psychological basis. Men are bigger and stronger and have more leaderships qualities. Physically, in bed, women (again, on average), like the feeling of being dominated and taken care of. They like giving themselves up because it makes them feel secure and connected, especially if they reserve this treat for someone special. For women, on average, sex is special and they fool themselves into thinking it is the same for men.
It should be the same for men, but it isn’t. This is because men have been separated from their emotions in an effort to be strong all the time. The same thing that allows men to take the lead, also cuts them off from giving women what they really want and what they think they will get if they let men take the lead.
Women think that it is their job to please their man in order to keep him. Where this idea comes from, I’m not sure. I suspect it has to do with how they are brought up, and the messages they are given by mothers and by the issue of dressing attractively (for both women and men). This idea that women should be pretty and should wait until they are chosen is the groundwork for later second class citizenship.
It looks as if they are sitting pretty, but in fact they are setting themselves up for passivity. They get things by being passive, not going out and seeking those things. They wait. They don’t act.
This is pervasive, even, I suspect, among the most proactive women. Certainly many women overcome these societal trends, but not enough, in my opinion. I think women are complicit in their second-class citizenship. What’s worse, is they don’t even see it. They think of it as privilege. The privilege of being kept or being desired. I think it’s a trap.