(NSFW) What kind of intimate relations can I expect after having had female genital mutilation?

Have you tried climaxing via masturbation? It’s quite common for women with unmodified genitals to have difficulty achieving orgasm through intercourse alone, especially when they first start having sex. So if your initial experience isn’t earthshattering, just know that there are billions of women out there who are in the same boat. As far as the physiology is concerned, I’m not a doctor, but I would imagine the answer would depend on exactly how extensive the damage was during the procedure (and this probably varies from woman-to-woman). My heart goes out to you, I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure such a cruel practice. Best wishes with your marriage, and remember that it’s ok to experiment with your own sexual needs.

I think you already know the answer. It is possible, but for many women in your situation, it may never happen.

I can tell you for sure, that it won’t happen without a lot of effort. I hope your husband is interested in and concerned about your pleasure. That can really help. If he is willing to help, and warm you up a lot, it will make it easier for you to have a good time.

The first time, of course, may be very difficult. If they sewed you up when the cut you, then, unless you are opened up again, you may be ripped open. It will hurt. If there’s any way you can be opened more gently, that will be a great comfort. Perhaps you may take some pain killers. But I wouldn’t have any expectations of pleasure the first time around. You might do better to take a long term view about this. In the future, yes. But not so much at the beginning.

I hope I am wrong. I hope things happen more quickly for you. But I am being realistic, I think. I wish you the best of luck. I think if you prepare, things will go better for you.

How old are you? Do you know your husband? Have you spoken to him? Is he modern or traditional or is that a stupid question?

Good luck!

Wow, I’m sorry. I have never spoken to anyone who’s had FGM done and went on to talk about it. I’m honored to read your question. I’m sorry it was done to you. It’s a huge trigger topic for me and it wasn’t done to me. Can’t imagine how you feel about it.

There is no definite answer for you on this. The only way you’ll know is to try things. Some women can have an orgasm with penetration while others need clitoral stimulation. There are also some women who are unable to have an orgasm, no matter what they try.

If you’ve never tried to reach an orgasm thru masturbation, you should try that to see what the level of sensation you have there is.

As far as your first time, there are many women that do not enjoy their first time. Some because of the stress of the moment and others because they aren’t really sure what to do. As hard as it is, try not to stress about it. Good luck.

This is sad. I hate the world.

I hope that you understand how fucked up the world is. Know that if you feel strongly against this I will fight for you, my dear girl. I’m really not sure about orgasming through your breasts. Maybe these women just haven’t really felt the real thing.

@Seaofclouds I remember not enjoying my first penetration moment as my first eating out pussy. AHAHA. Your first moment will probably be short because the guy, having tasted tighter pussy than he will ever know, will come very quickly [unless you let him in your asshole, which you shouldn’t until he’d done something incredibly incredible, and even then… NO]. Remember girl: it don’t matter whether you’re genitally mutilated or not… a man is a man.. and a man should still work to please you, my dear love. So make sure you tell him what you like, and when. Because this harm has been done to you against your will. As all women in the world, you deserve the best.

I am convinced you can still orgasm in some way provided you train your man to do it. Although it isn’t his fault and it’s true that many men are against this practice in Africa, men should always make an effort. And this may be one of his ways to show that effort

I’m sorry to hear that too. You can try having sex and maybe you’ll experience orgasms. Rem ember there are women with intact genitals and still not experimenting orgasms.

There are different ways women can reach orgasm, I can’t speak from experience of being one but I’ve had enough interactions with them and “helping hands” to tell you it doesn’t have to be clitorally (that just seems to usually be the easiest way).

I can’t tell you how it may have been effected via the mutilation though. I would guess the only real way to know would be to try it out for yourself.

As far as relations with people, if you find the right guy he’s going to be completely sensitive to your situation and want to help you in any way he can. Just make sure they know (when it becomes appropriate to do so) and ask them to have some patience (it’s well deserved).

good luck

How terrible! Yes. Explore all the other body zones depicted and described here

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erogene_Zone (see image)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erogenous_zone (see English text)

The smell from the male armpit helps regulate the female menstrual cycle?

pinkmaple I am sorry to hear that this was done to you. I have been so incensed at this issue since I read the story of Waris Dirie. She was a victim of FGM also and her story is very compelling. She has founded an organization to help other women who are victims of FGM. I think it might be helpful to contact her organization for answers to your questions. There are many different types of FGM with varying consequences.

I think it would be a good idea to go to a doctor for advice before your wedding night. I don’t know if this is possible for you. Again, I think it would be wise to contact The Desert Flower Foundation before making an appt. I am providing you with the link below. My heart goes out to you. I think with a loving partner who is sensitive to your needs you might be able to experience orgasm, but I am not an expert. I wish you the best of luck and love in your upcoming marriage. I hope and pray that this practice will be abolished forever.
http://www.desertflowerfoundation.org/en/

Orgasm is not the be all and end all, my love. If you found a man who will try to give you pleasure and who is genuinely concerned over the FGM, then you do not need anything more from life. :) But on that note, I don’t think orgasm is out of the question. I’m just saying that a lot of men, even with women who did not have this procedure, will not put much effort into sexually pleasing her.