Are bottles of wines on a wedding guest dinner table ok?

Why not?

I think it’s fine. But then I’m not one who pays much attention to what I “should” be doing.

Ah, if only everyone were so party friendly as you jellies!

@Judi: My mother says it’s tacky and 3rd world to put alcohol bottles on the tables whereas I see it as very practical, especially for everyone to have a first toast all together.

@tranquilsea: If this were my party alone, I’d go ahead and do it but I don’t want to embarrass my mother or my in-laws who are hosting the party for us.

Only if every guest is of legal drinking age, otherwise you could be charged with supplying alcohol to minors, even if they do not drink it..

@DrBill I’m sure the kids are there with their parents. Good god how many alcoholic punches have been served at social gatherings where kids are about.

@Neizvestnaya that’s a tricky situation. How much grief would your mother give you if you did it your way? Is the grief worth it? Can you ask her to be in charge of it then?

@DrBill: The only underage kids present are my fiancee’s teens and they will be seated with us throughout the meal. Hopefully the neighborhood patrol won’t bust in on us if we drink in the presence of the kids.

@tranquilsea: Mom will go with whatever I choose, I think she just wants me to not tacky things up since she has gone through a lot of planning to make it nice for me.

I’ve been to a ton of weddings and corporate functions and a good many of them place a bottle of red and a bottle of white on the table. It does make things easier all around.

I am only quoting the law, not endorsing it.

I guess I’m not sure what I’m missing here. Wine is usually served at wedding receptions, therefore wine bottles (from which the guests will pour their wine) would likely be put on the tables, otherwise where would they get it from, down the street at a bar? Non drinkers and underaged guests wouldn’t be partaking of the wine anyway. So what am I missing?

Is your mom or the in-laws teetotalers or is there some other reason that I’m not understanding? I’ve never heard of wine on a table (where people will be drinking wine) as being considered tacky or third world. What is the reasoning behind their objections?

@Kardamom: I want a bottle of red, a bottle of white, a bottle of champagne and a bottle of sparkling water on each table. Our number of guests is just under 50 and I thought it would be silly for someone to walk around uncorking bottles and pouring for only 5 tables. Too many bottles?

I have seen them at every one I’ve been to. Why not? I’m assuming the bottle are purchased in advance.

@YARNLADY: Yes, we’ve bought all the booze. Beer, sodas, juice and other drinks are going to be at a separate table and in coolers for people who don’t want wine with dinner.

As an alternative I’ve seen a small table or tray next to the cake with champagne for the toasts. So they were done after dinner before the cake was cut.

They’re poured and ready, everyone is asked to come grab a glass if they don’t already have a drink.

Just an alternative, I’ll never understand all the rules that exist for when and why when it comes to weddings.

I don’t think it’s a problem at all, but if your mother really objects you could just have a bar table. Put all of the bottles and glasses there, and make a point to announce that a toast is coming up so everyone can refill as needed.

@augustlan: I had thought about that but with our crowd, there will be a stampede for that table and I don’t want champagne flutes breaking.

I’m beginning to think my mom just got it in her head that group of bottles upsets the flow of her place settings and decorations.

How about using the bottles as a centerpiece somehow? Maybe setting them on silver trays, in the center of the table?

Of course it’s okay. Those who drink, will. And those who don’t, won’t. I went to a wedding where wine was on the table and I thought…what a unique idea.:-]

@augustlan: Yes, I think that will go over! off to ebay & google

Depends on who’s table.

Ok, I was thinking of making it your center piece with a few suggestions:
this or this or this or this You get the idea.

The wine for the toast is okay on the tables. I’ve never seen the red, white, Champagne and water on each table. But if it is displayed nicely, I don’t see an issue. Congratulations on your wedding, btw.

How about having champagne and water glasses filled in advance and then just a bottle of red and a bottle of white on the tables?

Unless you plan to have waiters pouring, it’s the only way to go. I really don’t think it’s tacky or improper, but people have different standards about what is and what is not good taste. It’s an arbitrary judgement. If it’s a white tie affair, you’d have waiters pour the wine. If you’re royalty, you might have a footman behind each chair, or something. In any case, have a wonderful wedding and know that what you will probably remember most is what went wrong.

Of course it’s ok. All of the weddings I’ve been to (where there was a formal dinner) had wine on the table. Usually just red, white and water. A glass of champagne (or a nice similar-looking non-alcoholic alternative) is often offered to guests on entry.

Weddings are thirsty, dusty affairs and that bottle of white and jug of red are like an oasis sitting there soothe the pain of standing around in stilettos.

@Sunny2: Thanks for the congrats :) I’m really really trying to avoid having the vivid remembrances be of irritating things.

@downtide: Yes, it’s a formal setting even though in a backyard. Full place settings including stemware will already be set down. I figured people would expect a few refreshments on the table after going through the buffet line. I know I don’t like to have to make several trips through a crowd to get something to drink and then come back to cold food.

Thanks everybody!
I think what we’ll do is put out one bottle each of red, white, sparkling water and champagne on a serving tray near the seat of a designated person who will be in charge of uncorking and also bringing the chilled champagne for the initial toast and then again at cake cutting time. I’ve got at least one wedding party attendant at each table so they will probably be happy to take charge of seeing everyone at their table has something to drink.

Fluther jellies, I toast you in advance!

How soon is the wedding?

@janbb: Early November. I thought the 2nd time around would be a breeze, totally casual plans for only our parents, a few friends and my fiancee’s children. What was a party of 8 has grown every few weeks and now tops out at 50. I will be happy if I don’t break out in nervous hives by then.

@Neizvestnaya Weddings are like that, even in November! But it will be great!

@janbb: If my in-laws weren’t so wonderful and if I didn’t love my mother so much, I’d choose to elope with just my sweetie and our friends!

Sounds like a good plan, @Neizvestnaya. I’m getting excited about your wedding! Conrats. :)

Thanks @auggie!

I ♥ ya Neiz… But I agree with your mom… But that is IF of course you know that your guests will be taking care of you too. Weddings are expensive, and there is supposed to be a gift to help the couple along on their way in life as an offering of goodwill. If your guests are the type to eat their meals and drink your liquor, dance to your DJ and give you nothing… then bottles are fine. But if they are offering you expensive presents and gifts, then I do believe it is tacky. It is supposed to be a celebration that is elaborate and opulent for both the bride and groom as well as the guests who are technically paying to come as much as you paid to feed them.

If you have family like my ex husband, who sucked the bar dry ate everything in the house danced like drugged up tribal plainsmen in trances, made idiots of themselves, invited extra guests and gave us NOTHING.

Box wine and plastic dixie cups is fine!

@GabrielsLamb This is the part that confuses me… why is it tacky? If you don’t have servers, why is a self-serve bar area any less ‘tacky’ than serving yourself at your own table? Even when you have a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, when you order a bottle of wine… it sits on your table, no?

When my stepdaughter got married, I ordered labels with a photo of her and her future husband printed on them. I was able to customize the labels. The top of the label said, “Cunningham Cellars, the type of Champagne, the photo, then under the photo in little type it said “Celebrating Our Wedding Day,” and under that, “Thank You Family & Friends For Making This a PERFECT Day!” I then put the labels on over 200 champagne splits. We put them on the tables at the reception along with the other place setting gifts. It was a hit. I kept a few for memories.

@augustlan When you order a bottle of wine at the fanciest of restaurants there is still wait staff waiting to pour. I think an open bar requires a bartender who serves the crowd, mostly because at weddings people tend to get both lose as well as schnockered when left to their own devices, in order to keep people in check and not be insulting like passing out juice boxes in pre-school, one has to preserve the air of control, amid an atmosphere of freedom.

Meaning bar service! It’s crowd and alcohol control. How can you be certain everyone will get some, how can you be certain there will be enough and how can you be certain that again, left to their own devices that party goers will do the right thing and be responsible and NOT ruin your wedding? Think about it, it happens every day! Not to mention if there are lose bottle of wine laying around that can be dangerous to little kids that are in a family atmosphere and not necessarily watched like hawks.

A glass of alcohol left exposed is one thing, a bottle might be a problem? Just opinion like I said, but there are too many variables, and when it comes to human beings potential to get intoxicated, better to be safe than sorry.

I’m thinking I can trust my closest friends and family members to control themselves… they’re not children, you know? Also, after the server pours your first glass in a restaurant, they leave you with the bottle and you pour your own afterward.

Sorry for the typo… I mean ‘Loose” and I did it three times I think too…LOL

@augustlan I have never had to pour my own wine after the bottle was opened. It’s like bagging groceries there is always someone waiting in the wings to “get that for you.’ along with the little crumb tray and brush

But I do know what you mean and it does depend on the crowd.

I think you eat in fancier restaurants than I do. :P