How do you differentiate between positive and negative fitness goals?

I think it’s a little different for everyone (of course) but in general I think it’s positive as long as the person is feeling good about their efforts instead of feeling bad about whatever compromises or failures come along. Essentially there needs to be a balance.

For example it can be positive if the results you’re getting motivate you to continue but too many people fall into punishing themselves for the times they don’t work out, or the slice of pizza they had, or having a few drinks with friends because those things don’t coincide with their fitness goals. It can become an obsession because everything you do affects your overall fitness and in some ways the more time you spend on it the more the small things will affect you. That six-pack is hard to get but easy to lose, a high level of endurance isn’t maintained unless you constantly use it, and those sugar cravings you fought so hard to get past come back awful quickly after a few weeks of not watching what you eat.

Everyone has something they spend too much time on, and something they build a lot of their identity on. For some people, they work too much, some people spend too much time working out or worried about what they eat, and some people might spend years and years getting advanced degrees (coughneurosciencecough ~)... there’s nothing wrong with any of those as long as you balance them with other parts of your life and the overall picture makes you happy.

Sacrifice too much for any of them and things fall out of balance.

I guess the other part that wasn’t addressed directly is that some of the girls might not be meeting all their nutritional needs with the goal of hitting some target weight or with the hopes of improving their appearance. The first part of any fitness goal should be to be healthy. If they’re making unhealthy choices of course that’s too far in any pursuit. Sometimes only experience will tell you which side of the line something’s on, is it dedication or and unhealthy practice? Sometimes it takes someone to wake them up.

If you’re worried about someone, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking them what their diet/exercise/fitness goals are. If the goals are healthy, people are usually open to discussing them. If they get all shifty, maybe it’s time to ask harder questions, assuming you’re the right person and they trust you.

I think the answer is in the motivation. Are they doing it for long term health or for the perfect dress size? When health is the goal, chances are pretty good that you’re ok. When appearance is the only motivation it’s easy to take it to far.

To me, a positive fitness goal means my friend’s hair isn’t falling out, their skin doesn’t turn ashy/grayish, they don’t barf when they think no one notices, they aren’t crying if served something with a fatty ingredient they didn’t want.

I know a few friends who have questionable (to me) fitness habits. Both are what I term sustenance eaters- they eat just enough to be functional and it has a lot to do with their overall ideas of global consumption. I respect their views but it pains me to watch.

Some of your friends are behaving like addicts, at minimum OCD.

Although, I can understand wanting to reschdule a meeting since the work days is 8–9 hours long typically, and most classes at a gym are only offered at very spefic times.

Riiiiiiiiight. Things are swell and peachy now. Ha ha. I’m sorry. Their bodies got used with the abuse. That’s why they all say “hail to the gym”.

Your friends took fitness classes to the next step. It’s a way of living. When they reschedule everything because they need to be at the gym at some particular hour. That’s nasty!!
I don’t know how to say when it’s normal but I do know fitness shouldn’t interfere in one’s life.

@Judi, I think you hit on what bothers me. They have definitely gone past the point of their fitness efforts being about health, and it is 100% about vanity, now. Another friend has even commented that if they’re going for maximum attractiveness, they’ve gone past that point, too. I’m inclined to agree.

Are we talking anorexia here? Are there other behaviors going on in concert with this? There is evidence, I think, that a starvation diet makes you live longer. They may be doing things for social reasons, but they may be living longer, too. Do they have boyfriends?

I can see the models may need to do this for their jobs. But as long as they aren’t Kate Moss, I’m not sure I would worry, nor would I make judgments about negative and positive. They are who they are. If they do something due to social or peer pressure, so what? Are there negative consequences? They feel better about themselves. That seems good to me.

There may be a competitive aspect to it, too. That usually helps people achieve. That can be pretty annoying, especially for people like me. Then again, maybe that’s why I stay away from the gym. And finally, people on the Pacific shore tend to value beautiful bodies more than those of us in the rest of the country.