How do you feel about dating sites?

I think they are cool for an initiating date kind of thing. I’d use it if I were single.

I met my on-again off-again lover on a dating site.
There’s a good chance she and I may wind up married at some point in the future too.

Out of all the dating sites, I recommend Okcupid the most.

What’s there to explain to people? You’re on the dating site for dating purposes.

I know multiple people who met their (awesome) spouses on OkCupid. I met my boyfriend there. We were just commenting on the fact that otherwise, we would never have met. And that would have been a bummer, because he’s one of my favorite people ever.

I’m married, but I’ve never had a negative opinion of dating sites or meeting a date online. It seems a bit outdated to think of it in a negative way, frankly. We do everything online. Why not connect with people that we may not otherwise run into? It’s a resource, I think you should use it if it suits your needs.

Proceed with caution.

Online dating is becoming more and more popular these days. Match.com states that 20% of all relationships now begin online. You shouldn’t care if people judge you just because they knew the previous you. You don’t even have to explain to them why you’re doing it. You’re simply expanding your horizons and trying to find that one special person in the new age.

Of course, you also have to be cautious about online dating too. There are too many stories of what can and will happen, so prepare yourself before you take that step.

They are just another method of people meeting. There are pluses and minuses to all methods of meeting people.

Holy moly, back some time ago, there wasn’t really anything out there for women, it was all male based and with women from overseas and not usually from Europe but Asia and some from South America. I was seen as these were desperate women willing to get together with any toad to get to America. There was no Internet so it wasn’t like women state side could be active in the hunt.

Now we have the Internet. I see with the business of people today it is like shopping or filling out a resume online. It saves time, and it is much safer also. No going to a bar, or meeting at a restaurant with a virtual stranger. You get to know something of the person before you actually meet them. Many times people can be more eloquent in what they say when putting it to text without the added pressure to try and look “cool” when doing so. If you seen people you know on there and you run into them in real life why explain why you are there? Maybe they think you will wonder the same thing.

I see it as just dating catching up with modern technology. I don’t see why you would have to think of it as “giving up”. That would be not to try. Using tools that are available to speed up the choosing issue is just good business to me.

I also think it helps to consider the alternative.
Is it somehow more acceptable to meet a date at a bar? The grocery store? At work? I think maybe considering that aspect helps to make it seem less like a “last resort.” I don’t think it is any “better” to meet someone at a bar than it is to meet them online.

Will you feel ashamed if friends will see you there? I never used one because I always had spare time for social events where I could meet people. But now it depends on how much time you have. If you don’t have too much time for these sort of things then go for it; register and when friends will see you there tell them you don’t have time to wait for “friendship” to pop out the door asking for a glass of water.

I don’t think most people still attach a ‘stigma’ to dating sites. It’s so common now that you probably don’t even need to worry about what your friends might think or say. At most, you might get some good-natured ribbing. Many of my friends have used them, to varying degrees of success, including my ex-husband. He met his fiancee through a dating site! Go for it. :D

Apathy.

I’m not in the dating pool. If I saw someone I knew on a dating site I would think they were showing initiative and guts. Go for it.
I have wondered what percentage of replies are from:
a) Pervs
b) Jerks
c) True possibilites.
Promise you’ll let us know. Ok?

@worriedguy *Hello well dressed one ♥

As for the question… I honestly think I would rather be run over by a truck and dragged behind it about 50 ft into a puddle of alcohol than to EVER do that to myself again!

*Seriously. I met the devil, and it wasn’t a plesant experience.

I have several friends who have met their partners online and I don’t feel there is any stigma attached to it at this point. I would just proceed with caution when actually meeting up with someone.

I don’t like dating sites. I prefer to date women. But I’ve met several great women through these types of sites.

Welcome to Fluther!

@CWOTUS You are a silly dawgie!

I’ve used dating sites off and on for the last 5 years. I met 3 girls in person from them. One of those girls I dated for several weeks and it didn’t work out (she was bi-polar and a smoker), another I dated for 9–10 months, and my current g/f who I’ve dated for about 10 months I met online as well. The two long term g/f’s (including the current one) were great catches.

My brother met his current g/f on there too, and it looks like they’re going to end up married. There’s nothing wrong with it, a lot of people do it these days. Just be prepared for the difficulties that come with it.

As a guy, I had to sift through a lot of girls profiles to pick out the ones I was interested in (probably in the 10–15% range of the total amount). They have ways to narrow it down, but especially on the free sites they’re not incredibly helpful. Of those 10–15% you have to message lot until people will even respond. When I found my current g/f I probably messaged about 25 girls over the course of 2 weeks (on plentyoffish). Of those 25 maybe 8–9 responded. I had regular communication with probably 4–5 of them. And I made dates with 2 of those. One date never showed up, the other one I’ve been dating for 10 months.

On the female end I’ve heard you have to deal with a lot of messages from guys, some of them just downright creepy/gross. But in the end it works.

Got two new messages from lovely wimminz yesterday! Woot Woot.

I do think there is a big difference for men and women on dating sites. As a dude, I’ll get maybe one message a month, and very rarely get a reply, even when I’m creative and polite with my messages. My lady friends that are on dating sites are inundated daily with literally hundreds of poorly spelled, shitty grammar messages along the lines of “hey sexii mami ur hot cn i b ur sugr dadi hit me up <3”

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. Somebody close to me is currently in a very serious relationship that started on match.com. She was living at her parents’ home at the time that she joined the site and really didn’t have opportunities to meet anybody, so it’s nice that that was an option because otherwise it is very likely that she would still be single, and she was unhappy about being single.

I know you like the site you’re looking at, but if you’re concerned about people you know seeing you, maybe you should consider a different one. If you choose one where only memebers can see your profile, then nobody will see you who isn’t on there themself, so nobody can look down upon you for it.

I understand why you might feel it is “giving up” but I honestly just think it’s a new way to meet people – as @ANef_is_Enuf said, is it so much more acceptable to tell people you met at a bar, or wherever?

I know a couple of people who met their spouses through dating sites. I see nothing wrong with it it’s just a different way to meet people. Technology brings new capabilities, they are there for us to utilize. If you see people you know on the site and they are using it, then why should you be ashamed of using it? Like someone else said you can always try a different site anyway.

Oy, Sveetie, Have I got a boy for you! Look how he writes! He’s so articulate, an English teacher he could be.
Stay from the bums and let me fix you up with a nice Jellyish boy.
Yente

@worriedguy If you were available and I were available, i would date you, you cute Yente.

@janbb And we could snuggle up in the snow and flap our wings faster than Aunt Sadie’s arms at a rummage sale.

Lesbians are hard to find in this here neck of the woods. I met my current g/f on a dating site. Nothing wrong with that. :)

@worriedguy Kind of like this ?

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Absolutely hilarious!

“hey sexii mami ur hot cn i b ur sugr dadi hit me up <3”

@janbb I got the part at 3:05 and my heart began beating faster. I don’t know if it was the act, that fact they were naked and being filmed, or that they were doing it in front of a live audience, but I found it strangely erotic.
I think maybe I’ll have a bissel gefilte fish now to calm my nerves.

@worriedguy Who knew penguins coud be such a turn-on? Go know!

The success of a date depends on chemistry. All means of getting to the date are acceptable. I met my last partner through one of them, after about 5 or so dates. They were all okay, as I had spent a bit of time speaking to them the phone first.

It’s the way to meet people today.

If I were single and had a choice of a dating site or meeting someone in a bar, I would select the dating site.

You can look on dating sites, but looking in a bar involves alcohol and that can cloud the whole situation.

If I were on the market, so to speak, I would not use a dating site. I would use a site designed for people who engage in my hobbies or interests and just hang out there, writing and sharing. Eventually, someone would get to know me and we’d start talking and maybe go on from there.

The thing is, doing it that way takes some of the pressure and artificiality away. You’re not there to date, you’re there to pursue an interest. Dating puts pressure on you to just talk about yourself. It’s harder to expand the topic to other things. You don’t get a sense of how a person interacts in general.

Even a place like fluther, I think, is better than dating sites. People talk about all kinds of things here. Sometimes there is flirting, but mostly the personal stuff happens behind the scenes. I know of several people who have met others here. I’m sure there’s a lot more I don’t know about. You get to know each other gradually here, and it’s all about other things, not just you. Then, when the time seems right, you start making it more personal.

Dating sites do have a sort of sleazy feel, but I know many people have met there. I believe people use all different kinds of methods. I wouldn’t worry about the reputation, though. Whatever works—that’s what I think.

@wundayatta I kind of agree with you. I have met some people here whom I would definitely have dated if I weren’t married.

What can I say….. I went from an online dating site to emailing to phoning to meeting in person to getting engaged to marrying to separation and finally divorce.

My stepdad met his current wife on one and they’ve been married near a decade now.

Two of my nieces met their husbands of J-date.

Several friends have met niece guys while subscribed to meetup.com.

@SashaLove I felt much the way you did when I joined years ago on the insisting of my ex-boyfriend whom was dying of cancer. He was the love of my life and he broke up with me when he was getting sicker because he didn’t want to put me through him getting sicker and dying. Well in order for me to continue to speak to him he made me agree to join a dating site and begin to date and move onto my with my life which was so hard and so I did for his sake and if it wasn’t for him I would never have. I have spoken and dated some really wonderful people on these sites one of which I find very very special though he doesn’t speak to me any longer and I have never actually met him in person he will always be special to me. We spent many hours talking and I enjoyed all of them. So @SashaLove keep and open mind, I know I am hoping to meet someone special and hoping that he has guided me into meeting another love like he was.

I met my partner online, but not on a dating site. I think of dating sites as being for people desperate to meet someone to date. That’s how I feel. I mean, is it really bad to be desperate to meet someone to date; we are wired to be with a mate. I would NEVER go to an online dating site. My fella and I met on another QnA site and knew each other a long time before we met. Neither of us had any intention to not spend the rest of our lives alone. Never say never.