With breastfeeding is there an official maximum age a mother should stop their child from doing it, and does it differ by nation?

(UK based) It is recommended, where possible, for the first 6 months of a child’s life. I believe that some solids can be introduced as early as 4 months, though the child will dictate this to some extent. There is an argument that goes along the lines “if they’re old enough to ask for it, they shouldn’t be still having it”.

Baby teeth are called “milk” teeth in other cultures and even here in the US for other animals.

Personally I wish I had breastfed my son longer. If I did it again, I’d ween closer to age 2 or 3. I weened my son at one year, then he got ill and I slowed the weening and stopped feeding by 14mos.

@SpatzieLover I think people who have never had a live human being latched onto a very sensitive nerve laden part of their body naturally wouldn’t understand. “Milk teeth.” SUCK!

LOL

@SpatzieLover If I did it again, I’d ween closer to age 2 or 3. Would that have been better, and if so, how?

@Hypocrisy_Central While he was breastfed, he had zero digestive issues….and he rarely got ill for more than a day or two.

It’s taken from 18mos to present (age 6) to figure out most of our son’s food intolerances. At least, during bouts of food elimination, I could’ve offered breast milk (I easily could’ve followed a strict vegan/gluten free diet) so he had something with protein, fat & vitamins that he “liked” eating.

There is no hard and fast rule here in Canada. Most mothers I know stop in around the one year mark. A very few I know will breast feed until the kids are up to 4 and 5 but they are the exception rather than the rule.

It is recommended that breast feeding continue until at least the end of the first year.

@Hypocrisy_Central You may be interested in this article on mom/actress/PhD Mayim Bialek.

I have no issue with mothers breastfeeding in public, it’s a natural bond between parent and baby.
That said, if they are able to ask for it, they’re too old. If you believe in the health benefits of continued nourishment from breast milk, pump it, and put it in their bottle or if necessary, sippy cup.

@Prosb A sippy cup was never used in my home…My son went straight to a drinking glass. Plastics are not a great substitute for a breast.

@Hypocrisy_Central, your avatar looks familiar and for some reason, it makes me hungry, guy. Eight years old!!

Whispering an anecdote. A family friend shares her tale of trying to ween her son who didn’t want to ween. He was talking pretty well when the friend decided to draw scary monsters on her breast to create a negative association for the young lad. When she first tried them her son was unfazed. In fact, when he switched to the other breast and saw the other monster drawing, he declared “Thewe he is again!” D’oh!

@Prosb obviously you’ve never had to pump breast milk. I have and you can sit there and pump for an hour (or more) to get what a child can do in minutes. Plus it can hurt.

I have read that there have been studies showing breast feeding a minimum of 14 months is very beneficial for the baby’s health.

I have a couple friends who breast fed up until 4 years old.

It must vary culturally. In the US so many moms work it is less practical to breast feed in many cases.

In the US it seems the majority of people now feel moms should breast feed their children, even openly show judgement towards moms who don’t (which I think is awful) but then also show judgement to moms who breast feed too many years. Moms cannot win, I swear.

My opinion is baby and mommy breast feed for as long as it seems right for them. There is no official rule in my mind. However, even I have my limit on what seems appropriate in our society. Breast feeding an 8 year old seems to be too much. By school age I think it best for children to be weaned.

Most moms I know stop breast feeding between 6 and 18 months.

@SpatzieLover You can take hormones so you will have milk again. Or, did you mean your son was better when he was taking in only breastmilk? Obviously now he woud still be eating and drinking other foods.

@JLeslie Yes, I could…but I think the ship sailed for me when his intolerances began at about 18mos. I was doing all I could just to get enough sleep to keep up with him.

He is doing better, however, it does require a lot of work on my part.

I feel much stronger about breastfeeding after having a child with special dietary needs than I did pre-child. Now, I wouldn’t even consider weening prior to 18mos.

Not that they’ll listen, but I try to encourage would-be or soon-to-be moms to breastfeed for as long as they can. If they’ve decided against it I now try to encourage them to try it for a month….this is something I never would’ve thought of doing pre-child….Never.

@Prosb @harple That said, if they are able to ask for it, they’re too old. Playing devil’s advocate to that, not all children learn to speak at the same time. Toss in any child with autism or something that makes speaking slower or not as easily learned those kids would have many months or years more off that criteria.

@SpatzieLover Strange they mention kooky in the connection of what many think is late breastfeeding. Sure, being potty trained is somewhat different than breastfeeding. I know at a certain times my cat weened her young off the teat, but with animals there seem to be a more hard line in the sand as to when it is to do it. As the article show, with humans there is an implied quit time, but nothing official. Then I wonder if that holds true if it were Asia, the Middle East, etc?

My daughters were weaned at 3 months (had to return to work and couldn’t express milk) and the other at 20 months. My son is obviously a boob man and was about 26 months. He was really only having an evening feed by then though.

I agree with @JLeslie though. I remember being in a mother’s room with my son and a woman came in with your child. He was a big child and she was feeding and then got really upset and told me she felt embarrassed feeding him when she was out. He was actually only 18 months but because he was a big boy, people thought he was older and would actually berate her for feeding him for too long. I felt so very sorry for her.

@Bellatrix He was actually only 18 months but because he was a big boy, people thought he was older and would actually berate her for feeding him for too long. I felt so very sorry for her. Most of the people this woman came across felt she was doing it pass the time she should stop. How do those people know that? Is there a scientific paper or study that says if s mother breastfeeds past X amount of years, etc. their child will develop ”this”, or they won’t develop ”that”, therefore, wean your babies by X years to assure a healthy child?

Many seem to be agreeing with nature now that mama’s milk is good for a baby, not only for the antibodies, but for the vitamins and other nutrients formula can’t match, but there is some unspoken under current that says ”only for so long”, then cut it off no matter how beneficial. No one seem to know or have a firm cut off time. Why is that? Would it hold up in other nations where mother have time to nurse their children or people are not wigged out seeing a child at the tit while the mother is shopping.

The reason there is no cut off time is because that should be determined by the mother and child. Unfortunately, some people feel it is their right to not only silently judge other mothers but to vocally express their views.

I again agree with @JLeslie that if we have to set a limit, school age seems to be a good time. I wonder if there has been research into when children wean themselves if they are allowed to feed for as long as they want?

@Bellatrix I wonder if there has been research into when children wean themselves if they are allowed to feed for as long as they want? I did not watch all of that documentary so I am not sure if they breeched that question. From other material I have investigated, it seems to indicate most children do around 5yr maybe 6yr if not stopped by the mother. Logic would indicate it would be a natural occurrence, as the child becomes more active outside the home. The logistics itself would cause is to happen less and less. I am sure many times the milk will just dry up or be so less as to make it not worth the child’s effort anymore. What I did get from that documentary was those who did breastfeed into toddlerdom, had a very close relationship with their mothers, and very fond memories from breastfeeding.

@Hypocrisy_Central I think the objection to older children breastfeeding is linked to a child’s awareness. What I mean is, once we assume a child can take in experiences and relate them to social norms and begins to understand the differences between boys and girls. Not sure if this is really what is at play. Kind of like a young boy being brought into a female restroom, at some point he seems too old to come in. Well, I think women are way more accepting of this, but I bet for the boy it becomes very odd. I still am unclear how men bring their daughters in (I think I once asked a questions about that, I need to find that Q again and look back at the answers) knowing men pee out in front of each other. There seems to be a natural progression in American society where children go from being on top of their parents all the time, to it only being in privacy, to it finally dissappearing and a child, now becoming an adult, moves their physical affection towards an SO.

One of my girlfriends who breastfed until her son was 4 wanted to stop before she was able to make it happen. He was practically down her shirt in public, and asking for milk. I think this is probably what people mean by if they can ask for it the child is too old. I disagree with that in a literal sense, because children ask for milk with one word, they don’t need a full vocabulary and sentence structure. She was having trouble weaning him, probably partly because by 4 children have stronger memories, and they don’t just adjust behavior by denying them for several days. Not that anyone wants to just deny their children full stop, but you know what I mean I am sure. Anyway, she finally figured out that she would let him feed, but only in the den in a specific chair. Eventually he did it less and less, because he was not fond of having to go to the room where there was no TV, and he wanted to have fun with friends outside, and he stopped trying to go down her shirt in public because he knew the only way to get milk was at home.

Whether we agree with social norms or not, to some extent we need to conform for our children in my opinion, as long as there is not any significant harm. Conform or start a movement I guess.

Am I the only one who can’t wrap my brain around breastfeeding an 8 year old child?

@bkcunningham A few people, including myself said by school age we think children should be weaned.

Thanks, @JLeslie. Somehow I missed that. What is “school age?” Four, five…?

Yes, around 5 more or less. Kindergarten.

I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t at least try breastfeeding (assuming there are no medical reasons not to), but even I have a really hard time imagining nursing an 8 year old. In developed countries, there really isn’t a need for breastfeeding past toddlerhood/preschool in the vast majority of cases. In some parts of the world, breastfeeding past that age could be a lifesaving measure for the child.

But still, I think the right age to wean simply depends on the mother and child. I nursed all three of my babies for varying amounts of time. My youngest was nursed the longest because by that time I was an expert at it and I was no longer working full time. He simply lost interest in nursing when he was about 15 months old.

I try not to make judgments about things like this, but to be honest, yes, it gives me the heebie jeebies. My mom knows a lady who was still nursing her daughter at 8 years old because it let her send the girl to school without being vaccinated (or something along those lines). My mother is NOT a credible source, though, so I’m not sure how much of that story was accurate. To each their own but I wouldn’t do it.

And for anyone who thinks “old enough to ask for it is too old,” you clearly haven’t spent time around early talkers. My daughter was using complete sentences by the time she was 15 months old. Heck, even babies under a year can say (or sign) “milk,” so is that too old? Being able to communicate is a developmental progression that varies so widely from child to child that it should not at all be used a guide for weaning.

Has anyone ever said that a baby or toddler old enough to ask for a bottle is too old for it?

@MissAusten Thanks for elaborating on the point about when children develop verbal communication skills. I skimmed across the point, but you made it more clear.

Seeing as there was a recent question on here about a woman breastfeeding her partner, I doubt very much that there is an official age that children should stop breastfeeding for medical reasons. However, I do think that if a child is breastfed for too long it could probably cause problems mentally and socially. Whilst I think that breastfeeding a baby is hugely beneficial for his health and bonding, once they get to a certain age, learning to be independant is equally as beneficial and I am sceptical that they can truely do this if they still breastfed regularly. Please note, I cannot speak with any authority as I have never had a child and so, have never breastfed. These are just my opinions.

When I say, “if they are able to ask for it, they are too old”, I’m not talking about a single word, or even a sentence possibly. I mean when it comes down to your child having a tantrum, just because they can’t have milk right that second. @JLeslie put it well: “He was practically down her shirt in public, and asking for milk. I think this is probably what people mean by if they can ask for it the child is too old.”

Setting boundaries with the child is a good idea, but I also fully understand people who think that at the point where you are able to set up boundaries verbally, is the point where they should be done. I don’t know of any person who would want to remember breastfeeding with their mother either.
(That’s including my own mother, and grandmother.)

@Prosb Interesting point about remembering breast feeding. I kind of touched on memory in my answer, but not exactly the concern you put forth. I wonder if it varies by the sex of the child how uncomfortable that would make someone? Having the memory? A woman I worked with, her fiance really could not handle her being topless walking around the house. His mom did it all the time when he was young, but old enough to hold the memory, and it freaked him out into adulthood.

@JLeslie That would be horrible! Freaked out about your SO being topless around the house because of that, that’s terrible. It’s not only bad for him, I doubt it helps your self esteem when your partner doesn’t want to see you walking around topless.

@Prosb I have no idea how other men feel about it, this is just one person I know. Kind of wierd/ironic that my colleague, the one getting married was very large breasted. Hahaha. Although, I have no idea how chesty his mom was. Ew.

Eww indeed. I also wanted to link this, since it popped up on my random facts homepage,
and is vaguely related. Link. It’s funny how laws like this get left around just fine, until somebody decides to abuse them.

It’s interesting to me that breastfeeding is often linked to public nudity (as mentioned at the end of that article). I was never much of one for nursing in public, but I’d breastfeed at home in front of family members and no one ever caught a glimpse of my breast or (gasp!) nipple. It’s quite easy to breastfeed without actually exposing yourself and you don’t need to suffocate your baby under a blanket to do it. I also had a lot of nursing moms come into my classroom to feed their babies and toddlers when I worked in daycare, and I never saw someone’s boob.

Actually, once I was nursing my son in our living room when my husband’s best friend stopped by unexpectedly. He walked right up to me, bent over to admire the baby, and never realized I was nursing. He thought I was just holding a sleeping baby.

@MissAusten I’m pretty sure I have always been able to tell when someone is breast feeding their baby. Maybe because I am a woman they are not as careful to be discrete?

I’ve walked upon women breastfeeding and didn’t initially realize what they were doing. I’ve also walked upon women breastfeeding and realized instantly what they were doing.

My son was an indiscreet nurser. He began speaking multiple sentences very early on. When I’d nurse, I could not talk if we were in public….otherwise he’d leave the boob, allow milk to spill out of his mouth and join in the conversation.

Most of our “public” feedings were in the car or a very private area for that reason. He never allowed me to cover him with a blanket while he nursed.

I agree with @bkcunningham that sometimes at a distance I may not realize, but once close enoigh, I always know. I think.

@JLeslie A woman I worked with, her fiance really could not handle her being topless walking around the house. His mom did it all the time when he was young, but old enough to hold the memory, and it freaked him out into adulthood. When I hear something like that, I want to strip it to the bone, deal with just the facts devoid of personal emotion. I would contend it was just his issue, that any child nursing past toddlerhood, would not react in the same way. If so, it is a very slippery slope for any parent who desires to live a ”Naturalist” (BKA Nudist) lifestyle where there will be more than loose boobs jiggling about.

The way nakedness or being nude in the US reminds me of that antacid commercial were the gay says “Eat now take a pill, eat later, pill later, take a pill, eat now?” He was so confused as to what pill to take and when to take it to avoid heartburn. When it comes to nudity, here is OK, in that situation it is OK but tasteless, you never do it here. It is a wonder anyone even tries.

@Prosb It’s funny how laws like this get left around just fine, until somebody decides to abuse them. That is the rub, isn’t it? It is like rules or sin, to have either or a law, you have to be going against something. It is like having a stretch of county road with no speed limit. People get out there and cut loose at 85, 90, 110mph. Everyone knows it but they live with it. No speed limit, no speeding. Then some drunk teen traveling at 110mph plows the back of an SUV doing 78mph killing someone then people want to regulate. The only way to regulate, put ”teeth” behind it, is to make it a law, then anyone not following it can be punished in some way, by the pocket, or lose of freedom.

Whether that town had a real problem with seeing naked teens walking about, or if it was really an image problem one might never really know.

@MissAusten I was never much of one for nursing in public, but I’d breastfeed at home in front of family members and no one ever caught a glimpse of my breast or (gasp!) nipple. That is the rub with public breastfeeding. I think the “breast spotting” is just a diversion. You can go to just about any beach and see up to 85% of a woman’s bosoms. Many bikinis today the top is a 3in triangular patch of fabric held in place, almost, by a shoestring thin strap. Most you can see the top, side, and even the bottom of the breast, which is OK so long as the evil nipple is under that 3in triangular patch!

@Hypocrisy_Central Are you saying it is confusing to figure out where it is ok to be nude? All the time we are figuring out or aware of appropriate dress for a particular circumstance. Appropriate language. Appropriate to lie or not. Etc.

I think the old enough to ask part relates more to the difficulty of then weaning, as @JLeslie explained so well about her friend’s son – “by 4 children have stronger memories, and they don’t just adjust behavior by denying them for several days”. I have heard the same said for dummies (sorry, erm, pacifiers?)...

Yes, pacifiers in the states.

dummies in Canada lol (but also pacifiers)

@JLeslie @Hypocrisy_Central Are you saying it is confusing to figure out where it is ok to be nude? All the time we are figuring out or aware of appropriate dress for a particular circumstance. Myself, I have standards on what should be shown where, but even here on Fluther where and who should be nude seems nebulous. One will say it is OK to be nude sunbathing on a beach but not in the Castro at a coffee house. Some will say it is OK to skinny dip in the family pool if no one is watching, and only if all are the same sex. Some will not care if there is mixed sexes so long as none have hit puberty, etc. The only standard that seem to hold constant no matter what race, economic, or educational level is Do not SHOW NIPPLE, not even its indent under clothes. Hence, no feeding the little nipper in public because if they break the lip lock, some nipple might be seen.

@Hypocrisy_Central Actually nipple is fine on the beach. Well, at the right beach. Ha! Not everyone agrees on the standards, but we are all kind of taught the standards and expectations of our family and community.