If bears wore pants and walked among us as allies, how would this change warfare?

We could use them in some ways, but since bears are not impervious to bullets, not in all cases.

It would not be of much good unless we went to war against the Salmon.

I could stop buying bear spray and noise makers when I go to my cabin in “Grizzly Country” Alberta.

One presumes that they’d need some kind of easy-to-operate fastener on their pants for those times when they’re caught in the woods and… you know. So the uniforms would be pretty simple, I guess.

And they could hump that damn .60-caliber machine gun all day.

We could use them to spy on Russia. They’d never figure out how we were getting their plans.

@marinelife I suppose it would be a whole new generation of body armor!

@saint In this topsy turvy world I imagine the Salmon would be quite formidable.

@smilingheart1 Canada? Or Georgia? Neither?

@CWOTUS I’m guessing they would have a couple of quick snaps in the business regions so they could take care of their “work”.

@woodcutter The only give away would be the pants and the binoculars!

@digitalimpression Not if they are special forces bears, very clever and adaptable to the situation, Vodka flask.

@woodcutter LOL. So are they Russian? Or spying on the Russians? xD

Suddenly, Voytek out of fucking nowehere!!

They’d be our bears,very special ones. Of course we would need to be on the lookout for the Spetsnaz also doing it back to us. Maybe special microchip to weed out double agents.

I am so not going to touch the nearly inevitable jokes, @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard. And it’s taking all of my not inconsiderable powers of restraint to do it.

Um…. are you stoned? This is possibly the randomest question I’ve ever seen here.

Anyway, everyone knows they wear shirts or upper body armour and not pants.

@CWOTUS go ahead. I can’t think of any jokes…

@dappled_leaves No. Not stoned. Just running out of questions that haven’t already been asked.

Are these regular bear or Polar bears?

*I like polar bears! Getting eaten by a polar bear, is far more chic than a regular old bear. It’s like a bear killing you in an Ermine coat!

Well, we’d have to retire that old chestnut: does a bear shit in the woods?

No. It shits in a troop carrier.

@GabrielsLamb I’m certain there would be talk of bear racism. Polar Bears and Brown Bears wouldn’t get along. It could get ugly quick.

@wundayatta There will always be that one bear with no square to spare .

@Digital Okay dear back to bears… Prove your pointless points elsewhere.

@Gabriel mmmm k.