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Aethelflaed's avatar

(NSFW) What acts are you including in "sleeping with" (details)?

Asked by Aethelflaed (13755points) October 7th, 2011

Ok, but replace “sleeping with” with “sex” (but I can’t put that in the title).

When you say “I had sex with”, what acts does possibly entail? What acts does that specifically not entail (like maybe oral, anal, fingering, kissing, hand jobs, dry humping, etc)?

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29 Answers

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Depends on the situation. It brings us back to the President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky case. What constitutes a sexual act? On the one hand it is a matter of opinion, and on the other, especially In this day and age the rules have changed up a bit, the vocabulary has changed as well as the definitions, there are lots of variables that have changed the definition of intimacy due to technology.

SpatzieLover's avatar

When I say “sex” I mean anything that you could get an STD from.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@GabrielsLamb Well, what are your definitions?

Aethelflaed's avatar

@SpatzieLover Me too! I’m so glad someone else has this definition, because I can never find anyone who defines it that way.

Blackberry's avatar

Putting my penis in someone and moving it in and out. If I had oral, I would say I got/gave oral.

Jude's avatar

Oral, and anal/vaginal penetration.

saint's avatar

Slice it as thin as you like. I will argue that convention establishes that “sleeping with” means having sexual intercourse in her bed or mine.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I believe most of any sexual experience happens in the imagination before, during and after the physical act.

I don’t lessen the experience of any sexual encounter because I understand the art of Tantric sex. It is very deep and requires absolutely no physical contact.

but I am very well aware of how that is far from any sort of majority opinion. But I can tell you that the actual physical act of sex, as in coitus real time, for me is highly ummm, physical, very deep and highly mental, and emotional as well… It entails, any act of sex that is an act of sex and I feel those are obvious.

I mean basically sex is sex, that’s a no brainer, it is physical, it entails all of the bells and whistles, two present and somewhat at least copacetic people, but I think intimacy happens on different levels, in many different tactile as well as mental impulse and emotional ways,

If the end result is the same, and I can imagine that well enough to achieve orgasim at a distance with another person, to me it is not only sex, it is intimate… but I believe highly in spooky entanglement and all of the new studies being conducted in physics and brain function, I believe that people, emotions, sex, feelings and experiences can happen at remote distances within the psyche, and in the mind as it acts upon the physical body.

but I know that is weird to most people.

I’m basically one of these “Nutters” http://www.quantumconsciousness.org/personal.html

and I am very well aware it is unconventional and strange to most people to consider a non physical act a sexual act.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@GabrielsLamb Ok. But the question wasn’t “how do you achieve intimacy”, but rather “what acts are you defining as sex”, like when you say “Oh, yeah, I had sex with him/her a couple years ago”.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Like I said… Those things are no brainers. Two people, projectile and vessel, recipticle and prod, tongue, or instrument, cavity, void, space + filled + friction, momentium, movement = sexual act.

Sorry if I ramble.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@GabrielsLamb See, I asked the question because I don’t think those things are no-brainers – everyone has a different definition.

HungryGuy's avatar

To me, sex entails wearing a woman as a Cum Sponge, or using her body as a Human Mattress, or just generally using her body as a sex object.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Aethelflaed I know that… That’s why I elaborated above in detail to explain. I guess there is no winning here huh?

Impasse.

TexasDude's avatar

To me, “sleeping with” = vaginal sex (I don’t do anal)

Aside from that, I’m with @Blackberry.

blueiiznh's avatar

A painful activity in which a man, using the stiffest and pointiest part of his pelvic region, repeatedly stabs a female in her crotch until he feels satisfied. Can also take place between two men, in which one male stabs the other in the bum. Lesbian “sex” may be fun and all, but it aint real sex unless there is some sort of stabbling going on, perhaps with a cleverly shaped hand or steel dildo.

Urban Dictionary

Aethelflaed's avatar

@blueiiznh Is that the definition you use, or just one that’s on Urban Dictionary?

Blackberry's avatar

Lol @ “stabbling”.

blueiiznh's avatar

@Aethelflaed I don’t “stab and tell”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Something happened involving at least fingers and my vagina or the other person’s genitals and my mouth, etc.

wundayatta's avatar

Hand and oral stimulation of the genitals. Intercourse. Anal intercourse. Any activity that is designed to create the arousal necessary to engage in any other these other activities, so long is it will probably move to some of these other forms of sexual activity. I.e., making out may or may not be sex, depending on how it is being used.

Sitting and staring in someone’s eyes might be sex. Massage might be sex. It all depends on the intent it is being used. Certain flirtations can be sex, again, depending on the intent of the people who are flirting. It’s not sex when they are just flirting for fun. It is sex when it is part of foreplay.

flutherother's avatar

I learned this years ago at school. It means inserting your penis in a vagina and coming. That is what the phrase ‘I had sex with’ has always meant for me.

TexasDude's avatar

@flutherother so, out of curiosity, does it not count as sex if there is no orgasm involved?

flutherother's avatar

I would recommend including an orgasm.

HungryGuy's avatar

@flutherother – Does it have to be in a vagina? Can it be in a mouth or anus?

TexasDude's avatar

@flutherother so if a virgin male put his erect penis into a virgin female’s vagina, thrust around for a while, and then they both just stopped and went to go play Xbox, are they both still virgins?

flutherother's avatar

The question asked what I meant by having sex and that is my answer.

Seek's avatar

I like the “anything you can get an STD from” answer.

That is, looking at another woman at a bar isn’t cheating.
Talking to her isn’t either.
I’m cool with hugs and dancing (not that my husband dances. * grumbles * )

Anything that involves fingers, tongues, and/or genitals is Right Out!

wundayatta's avatar

In other words, @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard, @flutherother would not consider your example to be sex since there were no orgasms.

flutherother's avatar

I suppose the example is sex but personally I wouldn’t be distracted by an X Box.

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