Of course, I have! Then again, it wasn’t “temporary” insanity. It was insanity that lasted for a few years.
Anyway, people change. Personality changes. It can be a change because of brain chemistry changes or because of life-changing events. We are constantly changing in subtler ways. It’s harder to see those changes over time, although it is more obvious to people who haven’t seen us in years.
I have certainly acted in ways that were detrimental to my marriage and hurt other people, like my children, that I care greatly about. I spent a lot of time wondering who I was, and which me was me—the one before I changed, or the one after? And would I change back?
Someone here told me that I was both me’s. Neither one was the “real” me. Both were the real me. As time goes by, and I keep on doing what I do, I realize that some of the new bits of me are going to be there for a long time. I have to find a way to incorporate them into my identity, instead of rejecting them. It is me. I do behave that way even if I don’t like it. I have to pay attention to that and think about what it means.
There are, I believe, long term trends in your behavior; short term trends, and long or short term changes that persist. Anything you experience can be happening and might be common. But nobody other than you can tell you what it means. In the end, we can talk about our own experiences or we could offer you opinions, but you’re the only one who can make meaning out of your own life.
Which do you want it to be? Long term? Short term? Temporary? Gradual? Whatever you want it to be, that’s what I suggest you make it be. Try not to fight with yourself. It’s easier to accept yourself in the long run. You can easily play a huge number of games with yourself, imagining what others think, and that can be very harmful. In the end, I think, it makes us happier to stop judging ourselves, no matter what others say. We are so much better at hurting ourselves than others ever could be. If you have to be hurt, let others do it. Stop being your own executioner in their stead. And who knows? Maybe they don’t even think what you think they think. And even if they do, maybe they will never say anything about it. Anyway, fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke!