Would you rather your daughter and son be very good looking or very intelligent?

I have been lucky enough to have offspring who are intelligent enough to know that looks are fleeting at best and inconsequential in the long run. all of my offspring, sons and grandsons, are male, with the exception of one intelligent and beautiful granddaughter.

Both have pitfalls. I’ve had very intelligent kids and very beautiful kids. It’s easier to be ugly

Either one. I think they are both valuable. In my family it is good looking, so what. People want to be with you and you get on in school. Intelligent, you are never bored. Either one can be a good thing, or not. It is not so much a matter of looks or intelligence. It is a combination of both, and that elusive thing called charm. It is much more complicated than’ good looking’ or ‘intelligent’. there something intangible, I can only call it ‘charm. forward looking’ pardon my clumsy description
cannot think of an english word-punching my head

I’d pick Intelligence. You can buy good looks with enough cosmetic and dental work.
Good looks are fleeting but intelligence stays with you for life.
Think about that when you pick your next mate.

Intelligent.

Well they are both. But if I had to choose. Intelligent.
I wouldn’t have had the patience to repeat things over and over. During the teens years till young adult they get selective hearing. Mix that with stupid and I would’ve either ended up in jail or the crazy house.

Looks. They can become smarter, but they don’t need to be genius’.

I would rather both. But given a one choice only option, I would take intelligence every time. Looks aren’t everything.

I’d go with intelligence.

There are plenty of intelligent people out there who cannot be, for one reason or another, successful in this world. Actually, niether beauty or intelligence guarantees success or happiness. All in all, I’d go with beautiful. Beauty is a more highly sought commodity in this world, in general. (I would say the same for a son.)

Where are all these beautiful intelligent people you all seem to have birthed? They are few and far between in my experience. And I live in Lala land.

Intelligence. I am assuming the child is still allowed to be average looking in this question? Average looks can easily be packaged and enhanced. Intelligence can’t be faked.

Intelligent.

Looks fade and, if their intelligence earns them enough money (and they care about such things), they can afford a trainer, nutritionist, nice clothes and/or cosmetic surgery.

@tinyfaery ‘ll admit I have one bombshell daughter, and one extremely handsome son (based on comments that come back to me). My other kids are good looking too, but they have to work more at it. I have a picture of my son that’s a dead ringer for Ricky Martin in this photo. http://www.rumromanismrebellion.net/2008/05/29/another-late-endorsement-because-nobody-wants-to-be-lonely/

One of my daughters looks a lot like this girl, only with curlier hair. http://www.hairfinder.com/celeba/hairstyle-alyssa-milano3.htm

Depends on how you define them. External beauty fades, internal beauty shines on.
Intelligence falters, wisdom is endless. I’d rather them be sensible than book smart and I’d rather them be beautiful on the inside rather than the outside. So if I had to choose between those two… I simply couldn’t. It honestly matters not which they are, both are wonderful in my opinion.

@EnchantingEla I never understand why anyone goes to internal beauty in these questions. And, wisdom is not something you are born with.

Unfortunately, the real world choice tends to be beautiful and intelligent or ugly and stupid. Good looks are correlated with intelligence, as I’ve documented many times on other questions here on fluther. I don’t know why they seem to come together. I suspect it has to do with the attention people get due to their looks.

From a success point of view, I think I’d choose beauty. People are more likely to be nice to you if you are beautiful, and while people say that looks fade, I think they still help you out later in life, especially for men.

Nerds are presumably the quintessence of intelligence and success resulting from intelligence. But there again, I think, we see that the most successful nerds are also pretty good looking ones. How many women out there think Bill Gates is too nerdy to be bad looking? Would you turn him down based on looks alone?

In any case, knowledge can be learned. So I’d start with looks and pick up the rest later on. Knowledge, experience and, if one is truly compassionate, wisdom will all arrive eventually.

I’d rather my daughters be happy.

@JLeslie for me, it is what’s most important : ) maybe it was the proverb that brought it out in me <shrugs and laughs>

@EnchantingEla Of course it is what is important, but the question is more superficial than that.

@wundayatta Really? I think gorgeous women are usually assumed to be not too bright.

I would rather want them to be authentically happy and neither is linked to appearance or intelligence.

Intelligence, no doubt, but, nothing wrong with being attractive too, as long as you’re not over identified with your looks. My daughter has both, pretty and smart, just like her mama. lol ;-)

On a personal note, I have always wanted to be liked for my brains and my humor and my interesting, esoteric way of viewing the world, far above my physical features.

My daughter is both. :-)

Very intelligent.

@JLeslie Which is why common sense may be common, but it’s not sense. Science often finds that our cherished beliefs are not true. Gorgeous women, in fact, score well on intelligence tests. They might not act bright, but they are good test takers. So don’t be fooled.

@wundayatta I see what you are saying now, I had read your post too quickly. I think some of it has to do with the packaging. I actually prefer female doctors, for instance, not have on glam make-up and hair that obviously took significant time to coif, with heals and a nice dress. I see them at a party fine, but at work, turns me off. Naturally beauty is one thing, how we present ourselves is another. I think most people don’t even recognice natural beauty vs good packaging.

Very intelligent.

My son is both. I agree that intelligence is of the utmost.

[mod says] This is our Question of the Day!

I’m of the belief that an intelligent child has the ability to create an interesting and fulfilled life. And a beautiful child has that life brought to him. Six of one…

[cod says] Gurgle, Gurgle

Intelligent. The brains will last longer than their looks, hopefully they’ll use their brains well.

I think that intelligence matters more, but I don’t pit beauty against intelligence as if it’s either one or the other. As for a child of my own, I simply wouldn’t ‘rather’ them be either. What matters to me is that they treat others well and are happy with themselves.

The ‘boys should be smart, girls should be pretty’ thing is completely ridiculous. I wouldn’t even know where to begin in explaining how idiotic it is, but here’s hoping it wouldn’t be necessary to begin in the first place.

As an aside, I think it’s very, very silly the way people talk about ‘beautiful people’ as if someone being attractive is justification to insult them. (I’m not referring to specific people, nor am I even talking specifically about Fluther or any other website for that matter.) People tend to insinuate that being attractive must mean that you’re shallow, when it’s really the people making the accusation based on looks that are shallow. Besides, don’t we (generally speaking) love art? Should all aesthetically pleasing things be shunned because it’s energy that would have been better spent on something more important? Why is it so hard to view ‘beauty and brains’ as two qualities rather than opposite sides of the same coin?

I’d rather spend time with an intelligent person than a beautiful person, so as I spend a lot of time with my children, I’d favour intelligence. But from a getting on in the world point of view, they would probably have more success with good looks than intelligence. But the friends they’d have , the jobs they’d do and the attitudes they’d absorb are not the kind of ones I like or would like for them.

Thank you one and all and lurve too! It looks as if about 15 vote for intelligence (regardless of gender). 3 voted for looks, 3 for happy which really wasn’t an option and there were 3 I couldn’t figure out what the hell you were saying!

I find that to be very encouraging!