Jellies over 40, what "absolutes" have you changed your mind about since your 20s?

I used to feel absolutely sure that the Christian God existed. Now, I’m sure he doesn’t.

Boo. I’m only 37.

@tinyfaery I’m sure you can still answer the question.

OK, Candy Girl, go ahead…but nobody under 35, please!!!

The only absolute I hold to is that there are no absolutes. Though, I was never really one to have ingrained beliefs.

@Hawaii_Jake , hope you are only 99.9% sure…..Keep some room in your hope pantry!

@smilingheart1 : Please don’t bring that here, please go to PMs if you need to. Thanks.

How come others ROUTINELY interject statments on threads?

@JilltheTooth, it was in my 20’s after all the barfed out life that I first learned the Christian God cares about us all individually not en masse only…. AND we are all His idea, not our own! That’s the truth that defies all intellectual knowledge!

(almost 40, but I’ll answer anyway…)

Many of the things I thought were black and white at 20 years old seem way more gray now.

At 20 years old I thought I was pretty smart. Now I realize that I know practically nothing.

One of my friends swore she would never have anything to do with television. Last I heard she was on the production staff of a night time soap.

I have completely changed my mind about “traditional” relationships.

I no longer believe in the concept of “forever”, which I think is very damaging and responsible for a lot of dysfunction in many circumstances.

I am much more open to all the shades of gray and the impossibility of rigid black and white thinking.

I question EVERYTHING, about myself, my motives, intentions, and question the same with others I consider to be strong enough to do their own “work.”

I have learned to let go of people and situations much more quickly and easily than I used to in my 20’s.

I no longer feel I “need” to cling to outgrown relationships or jobs out of a sense of insecurity or obligation, and, god forbid, martyred “duty.” Bleh! lol

I am very secure within myself and the most liberating thing of all is to drop all identifications with the externals of life in terms of self worth. I no longer feel I have to be “perfect” or have anything be a particular way to feel good about who I am.

“Maturity” is a great space to inhabit!

My answer is based on almost 20 years past 40 where many absolutes have fallen by the wayside. One of the joys of aging is a real letting go of so many things we thought were important or true at an earlier age. Among the many lessons I’ve learned along the way, these come to mind:

The world will not actually end if I walk away from my office with clutter on my desk
Celebrating diversity is more important than rewarding compliance
It makes sense to question authority (politely, of course)
Words are powerful weapons; wield your language carefully
Mistakes made in haste require a long, slow clean-up
I can’t take back my heart; once I’ve given it you, it’s yours. Take care of it.
And, fast food was created to help working moms ;-)

@picante : Fast food was created to help any moms!

@JilltheTooth—and dads ;-)

I used to say I’d never wear synthetic fiber clothing. Whatever, I wear whatever fits well, looks good and fits my budget at the time. I even have faux leather sandals which up until three years ago, I’d never have touched. There are thankful animals, somewhere.

In my 20s, I thought price controls were a good thing. Now I think they are horrible.

In my 20s, my understanding of economics was pretty bad. Now I’ve changed my thinking due to my education.

In my 20s, I believed we could make a difference. Now I know things stay the same.

In my 20s, I believed if Reagan were President, the world would end in nuclear cataclysm. Now I know we can survive even the lowest of right wing assholes. Not only that, but Reagan looks like a Socialist compared to what we have today. Well, maybe not a Socialist, but Nixon sure does. Can you believe he wanted universal health insurance back then and Democrats scotched it?

@Neizvestnaya : Now that’s what I’m talking about!

Every one of them, whatever they were… But in my case some of them were imposed. Most of them were stupidity and the rest fell by the wayside as a natural cause and effect. Either way, I’m glad they’re gone… I didn’t like them anyway.

@JilltheTooth: I also remember snarking to my mother as a teen that once I left home, I’d never eat margerine again. I’ve kept to that one.

And just in this past year…that I want someone to share my life with…

I thought there was always someone who was right and who was wrong in an argument. Now I realize two people can be right and have differing points of view.

I thought I would never weigh more than 140. Broke that barrier.

I thought people over 60 were old. Stopped thinking that by my mid 20’s actually. Living in FL cures you of that thought pretty fast.

I thought penguins couldn’t read books.

When I was young I used to think getting old was something you let happen to you because you just didn’t care enough any more. I was very, very, wrong about that one. :-)

@lillycoyote

Haha..no shit! lol

@Coloma Yes, how very young and full of ourselves we were, and how very wrong! :-)

How could anyone live with a cat?