What the hell is wrong with me?

You should go for it. You should always take risks in love.

Simple. Get out of your head, and ask her out.
Mind stories are all fiction.

I’ve been in your shoes, dude. Honestly, there’s only one thing to do about it; Nut up, or shut up. Go for her. Sure, you always run the risk of something bad happening, but don’t let that discourage you. I’ve made that mistake before, and it’s horrible. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

@XOIIO, you need to start thinking of girls as people, not weird creatures.

If she is hanging out with you, she enjoys your company. If you relax and not worry when you are around her, she will relax and not worry that she is making you tense. She might actually find you attractive and tell you so. Don’t let your worries screw it up.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I don’t see them as wierd creatures, I just have these conflicting views. Also, let me add some more detail I forgot to mention.

Considering we live in a simmilar direction we walk and talk basically every day for a few blocks after school, and that seems to have sparked some gossip, or possibly jsut the one person who asked if we were dating, and of course I said no, that isnt even possible. Since these things might escalate, I told her that there might be soemthing going around, and also that due to some things I had heard from other places, she might like me, so I asked her if this was the case, because It would be interesting to know why. She said she sees me more as an older brother, but the thing is that it took her a little bit to respond.

I also have jokingly put my arm around her, she didn’t protest at all, but I didn’t really get any signals from it, and also offered her a hug a couple times, to which she seemed exciting, but I’m not sure.

I’m really jsut trying to analyze whats going on.

The main point is, why can’t I supress these emotions/feelings/whatever they are, when I’ve dealt with much worse?

XO, do you see, someone put you on the spot, so you fibbed to protect yourself?

It sounds like you put her on the spot, and it doesn’t occur to you that she may have fibbed to protect herself?

It seems to me, that when most of my male friends analyze these things, they ignore that the woman might be behaving exactly the way men are.

In answer to your question, why can’t you ignore these feelings? It is a response not unlike what people get who play slot machines in Vegas. The more you THINK about a particular girl, the more your ego decides you deserve her on a fundamental level, and the harder it is to accept it might not work out. You mentally invest by thinking of her, as if you have put a lot of money into a slot machine and your sense of fairness refuses to accept that it will not pay off.

That does not work with women though. You need to keep your mind occupied when she creeps into it.

It sounds like you are devaluing yourself: “Common sense kicks in” and “she wouldn’t ever be interested in me”

Why wouldn’t she be interested in you? You are your own harshest critic . . . don’t answer the questions for her with presumptions, take the risk and see if she is interested, and see if it works out. . .

It may not turn out positively, but finding that out might be better than living your life always wondering “what if,” for all the things you didn’t dare to explore!!!

Good luck.

P.S. if you put your arm around her and she didn’t protest, that’s +1 for you!!! If she didn’t want your arm there, she would have taken a step back, or shrugged, or ran ahead, or SOMETHING!

You’re mad about the girl, my friend. There are some feelings you can’t shake, and acting on them is oftentimes the only solution. @mrrich724 Said it best. Going on with a “What If?” over your head is..well, it’s no way to go on at all.

@XOIIO I can’t add much to the advice from @Simone_De_Beauvoir & @Coloma, and the observation added by @Imadethisupwithnoforethought.

So it seems you like to believe in the worst senario. So lets play. You don’t ask her. It turns out she really was interested and someone else who isn’t half the person you are asks her out.
Ok, no big deal. It probably wasn’t meant to be. Eventually you finally get the courage to ask someone else who isn’t half the girl she is and you keep looking at her from here on out wondering,“What if”.
I mean at least if she isn’t interested, or you do date and it doesn’t work out, than you can say you gave it a shot. Once you break up or not get together, than you are free to move on.
What if’s hardly ever rest. They will keep popping up everytime you bump into her.
Mostly because seeing her will remind you of how you never got the courage to reach for a change at happiness.

If you have problems with your feelings, then you should talk to someone qualified about it. Maybe there’s a counselor you can talk to at your school, or perhaps you could visit a therapist.
The people here are eager to help, but if you are struggling with emotions then you really need to talk to someone face-to-face about it.

@XOIIO

How old are you?

@CaptainHarley 17

That’s a ,major part of your problem. You’re still trying to sort things out. Give yourself a break and wait a few years. There’s nothing wrong with you that won’t be resolved with the passaage of time.

@CaptainHarley I’m pretty well sorted out, it’s just wierd that its difficult to controll these things when others have been worse, but I was able to handle them.

@XOIIO Don’t you think hormones are part of the equation?

I think you are wrapped up so much in your head you are avoiding reality. Get to the heart of the matter and ask her how she feels about you. If she says she has no feelings for you, it may hurt, but at least you will be released from your “mental cobweb”. On the other hand, if she says she likes you very much, then you will know. Either way, a positive will come out of it.

@SpatzieLover Potentially, but the thing is I haven’t had any desired, or purely physica“things” towards her, I haen’t even really thought of her like that.

I think the reason you can’t get rid of these feelings is because you are in the first stages of “falling for” someone… those are pretty damn powerful emotions to feel, whether it’s the first, second, or twentieth time you’ve felt them. Your “other failed relationship” (as you put it) was presumably one that you gave a shot at, and it didn’t work out? (I presume that because of your use of the words “failed relationship”, though I’m now wondering, because you used to word “other” suggesting perhaps it was similar to this situation…. well, I’ll carry on with my presumption for now, you can certainly put me right if I’m on the wrong track.) If you gave it a shot before, you went through something and came out the other side. You’re currently not able to come out the other side as you have yet to enter it…

What ifs, maybes and perhaps’ are so, so powerful. The first flurry of a potential relationship is magical and has an ability to consume one. It can also be a beautiful feeling (heck, some people get addicted to it and never stay long term in a relationship as they long for that strong first feeling, which of course changes with time).

Life is a gamble, so take a chance. Emotions and feelings are part of the human makeup and you should relax and go with the flow.

You seem to worry too much.