Ranting and advice?
I have nobody to rant to. I am unmotivated to do anything. I feel like I want to accomplish something before I die. I want to be a help to everyone and do the right things but it’s sometimes hard, and I’ve been very hormonal lately.And I hate religion. and christmas. I hate christmas. I hate all holidays except for halloween. I like dressing up. I hate how people judge me for how I dress. I was holding hands with my friend, (we’re both girls) and we walked outside and took a walk holding hands, and so many people stared at us. and gave us dirty looks. and that just proves how homophobic this place is. also, I really love this girl, and it’s not the one I was holding hands with. But another girl. She says she isn’t bi anymore, and thinks shes straight, but she was never really 100% straight, but shes not a lesbian, so I think she is bi but in denial about her sexual orientation or very confused. I miss her so much. and I realized today, that I’ve been thinking about her the whole day. We barely talk, her internet sucks.. I just wish we could be together. She is so beautiful, inteligent, and just.. so down to earth. We can relate to eachother so much, and we’re hanging out next friday (which most likely won’t happen because her plans always change.) sometimes I feel like I just feel like I don’t like men at all, and just like girls but yeah. I’m also confused about my orientation. I love her so much and I am not going to force her to love me back so i’m not telling her. also I don’t want to ruin our friendship.I have to take things so slow.
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8 Answers
Welcome to the collective… Feel better now that you got that out? That was alot. :)
(1) You sound like you’re in your early teens. I can say from experience that at that age you often feel very alone in your problems, but most of your friends probably have that same feeling. Consider opening up to someone you trust. You might be surprised.
(2) If you really don’t have anyone you can talk to, journaling can help. I’ve kept one pretty consistently since I was old enough to write, pretty much. It can really help you sort out your thoughts.
(3) It might be easier if we could address one problem at a time. It sounds like the most pressing problem for you is your relationship with this girl. Unrequited love is pretty much the oldest problem in the book and it is the most exquisite pain you can ever experience. You seem to have a pretty good grasp on the situation and you are 100% right to say that you can’t force her to love you back. So enjoy the time that you have together and eventually you will have to decide if it hurts too much and you’d rather move on.
I hope that was a good start. Hang in there.
Thank you for your responses, I’m glad to find some place where there are supportive people. It’s not too often I do, yes I am in my early teens as you have easily guessed by my horrid writing and experiences?
its not to often for me either, I’m a teenage guy living in south jersey. Its hard sometimes but life goes on.
Most things have to be taken slowly. Pace yourself, padawan.
Well, life is confusing because it’s complex and then it keeps changing. So sometimes
you gotta kinda watch a lot of tv and breathe and wait. Checking in with other
people is the answer when things are going slowly or badly or all in puzzles. Keep talking. You are NOT alone.
I think it’s very common to feel alone, misunderstood and frustrated when you’re in the process of finding out who you are and having a lot of experiences for the first time – and this is typical of teen years. I know it was for me and most people I know.
It’s a time of discovery and adjustment to find what you want, what you like, what you accept and what you’re comfortable with. It’s so easy to feel like people are against you or not understanding you because it may seem they’re trying to push their values/priorities on you when you’re trying to discover your own for yourself.
It will get easier. As you establish yourself and your values/priorities, you will be more at ease with yourself and your surroundings.
Welcome to life. We are all faced with differing dilemmas. Track your own feelings and don’t be afraid of them. Be fearless about the judgment of others. Know that if you make unconventional choices you will face difficulties. If you have an unconventional nature and make conventional choices you will face difficulties.
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