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Jude's avatar

For you, when did you feel that it was the right time to settle down and have a family?

Asked by Jude (32204points) October 17th, 2011

Settle down = get married, civil union, gay marriage.

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20 Answers

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

A couple of years after I graduated from university and had stable employment, and after going through one rather serious relationship. I figured it was time to finally settle down, get married, and have children.

cookieman's avatar

During nine years of dating, we finished high school, earned our undergrad degrees and done a fair bit of domestic travel.

It was simply time for a new adventure. A new chapter.

Then, after seven years of marriage, buying a house, graduating law school and traveling Europe, we said, “Hey, let’s have a kid”. So a new chapter began.

Ya just know when it’s time. Least we did.

thesparrow's avatar

I feel like I’ll be settling down within the next 5–7 years (I’m 23 now).

marinelife's avatar

When I couldn’t imagine life without my partner.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Getting married (I find it hard to call it settling down), pretty much since I learned that adventure was even more fun when shared, I think I was seven. The having a family part, that’s never really been in the picture.

YARNLADY's avatar

I grew up believing I would move right out of my parents house and into my own apartment/house with my husband and start a family. I have always done that, but not exactly the “settled down” part.

thesparrow's avatar

Ya, I think I’ll get married and move out. My parents are old school. None of this living without being married stuff. I don’t really believe it, but I have a feeling I’ll be engaged soon :D

tom_g's avatar

30. Individual results will vary (-10/+30 years).

tranquilsea's avatar

When I met my husband and we got married we decided that we would rather have our children early and enjoy our 40s than wait. So we had our kids before I was 26 and he was 28. We’ve never regretted that decision.

Our kids are now 16, 14 and 12.

wundayatta's avatar

I think I was 34 when I got married. I wanted to get married for a couple of years before that, but my wife wasn’t sure. I wanted to have kids for a while, and I didn’t actually care if I was married or not, but eventually we got married. Kids wouldn’t come for a long time. I was 40 when my first arrived. I would have done all this sooner, if possible.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

As a kid, I never wanted to grow up and have a husband or children but I was the first in our little gaggle of childhood girls to get married. I never did make any kids but it seems everyone I know has them from previous marriages or out of wedlock so there never seemed to be a point.

tinyfaery's avatar

I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I wanted forever to begin immediately. (We only new each other 3 months.) I didn’t think about it. I just did it.

njnyjobs's avatar

the girl got knocked-up

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I suppose since I’ve been married twice, each time I didn’t really think about it…with my first marriage, it seemed like the ‘next step’ and I was really into steps back then…with my second marriage, we did it for benefits but loved each other dearly and it didn’t really matter if we were married or not.

janbb's avatar

I, too, never thought of it as settling down and having a family. We wanted to be together and in our case, marriage was the way we could both live and work in the same country. Having children was a separate decision that came quite a bit later – although I had always thought I wanted children.

JLeslie's avatar

I was married when I was 25, I felt ready to be married even before that. Looking back I realize earlier than 25 would be very young. I was ready to have children when I was 27. I got pregnant right away, but as many of you know the pregnancy miscarried and I had have had fertility problems ever since, so I never had children.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

The man I’m with now that I’m 45 and soon to be married, I’d have a baby with him if I was able and he didn’t already have 3 teens. This is the only time in my life I’ve felt “family ready”.

Haleth's avatar

I’ve promised myself not to settle down until I have a college degree and a successful career. Right now I still feel so young and irresponsible, like I can’t handle “real” adult life. I want to experience more of single life first, and I’m reluctant to rush into settling down because I saw my mom go through a few relationships with the wrong people. Being single seems much better than being married to the wrong person.

On the other hand, I was talking to an older friend the other day who said he waited to get married for the same reasons I did. Now he’s 39 with an amazing career and a house big enough for a family, but he’s still single. He feels like he missed out.

Jeruba's avatar

When did I decide to settle down? I’m not sure I ever did decide that. In my mind it was expressed as “turning into a grownup.”

I thought it would happen when I became independent and self-supporting, living alone and making all my own decisions. I did, and it didn’t.

I thought it would happen when I got married. I was nearly 31 and knew I was with the right man, so when he asked me, I said yes. But I didn’t turn into a grownup. Neither did he.

Then I thought it would happen when we became parents. We’d been married 5 years, and we both wanted to make an “us.” Our son was born, and we couldn’t have been more delighted. But somehow that didn’t do it either.

To us I guess being a grownup meant things like wanting to go to work, feeling solemn and responsible, getting up early in the morning without banging the snooze alarm ten times, eating balanced meals at a regular time every day, paying attention to all the serious stuff like taxes and bills and estate planning and dryer lint, laughing less, wearing old-guy clothes instead of jeans, being predictable, being routinized, being dull, being boring, being old—being like our parents.

Now I wonder what it’s going to take.

Scooby's avatar

I was twenty eight, got married……. Divorced at thirty two. Turns out we sometimes are not meant to follow convention :-/ happily single since.

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