Do you want kids?

I once dated a woman who had a kid. It didn’t work. That was years ago. If I were still single, I wouldn’t want to get myself in a relationship where the woman already had a child (or children).

I’d like to raise a child, eventually. As far as actually having kids and going through the birthing process, I’m not certain. Quite frankly, it kind of intimidates me. I’m frightened by the prospect of witnessing and helping my wife (whomever she may be) go through it, and babies are so small and fragile as newborns, and what if I mess up in those crucial years? Or even the later years.. But that’s a long, long ways off, so I’ll worry in the fifteen or so years until it’s likely.

I do! :)
Not any time soon.

I don’t want kids, and I wouldn’t date someone who did or who already had them.

Yeah, sure. Can I afford them? Uhmm…

Yes. I want a lot of beautiful babies. I’m currently looking for a candidate on Fluther to house my sperms.

Yes. I have two already. My partner is a little more reluctant than I to have a third child. We’re negotiating.

Yes. I had a friend who was great with kids and liked kids, but really didn’t want any of her own. I thought that was odd. Different strokes.

I married someone with children, and although I always wanted children of my own, I very much love the ones I got.

I can’t say how I’ll feel about it down the road but right now I really don’t want kids and I don’t see myself changing anytime soon. My girlfriend asked me once if I’ve ever thought about having kids (not with her, just having them sometime in my life) and for some reason I ended up being tongue-tied and looking moronic. Other than that though the subject has never come up between us.

I can’t really see myself being with a woman with a kid/kids, the single mothers I know keep the kids out of the picture relationship-wise for at least a few months when dating but even then it would still be a bit weird for me and just an added weight. Not to mention it wouldn’t be good for me to enter a child’s life just to exit quickly if things go south between me and the mother.

I have one and that’s enough, I definitely don’t want to go through the parenting thing again. If I became single for whatever reason, and was dating again, it would be a dealbreaker for me if the other person had kids, or wanted them.

I helped my sister with 13 year old twin girls and a 17 year old boy. I have spent more time with the kids than their dad has. I am done.

We can all be glad that somehow we got the chance at life! When we consider all the things that could have gotten in the way of that, we should all “stick our chests out” and be happy today that we are true winners!!!

If you ever study out the sperm race to see how strong that competition was just to be the “one” that kicked the other sperm butts to finish the race, how could anyone not feel triumphant?

If you are in your twenties or thirties today, the odds must be quite high that your love interest will already have one or more children in his/her life and possibly an “ex” that therefore must be interacted with. My brother did not have children of his own, however, raised two sets of children, while their own fathers were off raising other women’s children.

Issues to do with family life have never been more complicated and while I do see everyone’s point that has found not having children appealing, I think this mindset is one that can lead to possible regret when the childbearing years pass, the grey is settling in on the head and the involunatry drools start. Please have children while you can drool on purpose!

Do you want kids?
Nope, never have, don’t expect I ever will.

Have you ever been in a situation where you are interested in somebody but they want to have children sometime down the road and you don’t?
Yep.

How did that work out?
It ended somewhat poorly as she felt I wasn’t willing to see her side of the issue or consider that my attitude might change; that wasn’t the only reason, there were other, albeit frequently related, problems. For my part there was no animosity, but it was a gating, irreconcilable, disagreement.

What if they already have kids, and aren’t looking to have any more but you want one of your own? Or maybe they have kids, and you weren’t planning on being a parent?
Being that I’m not interested in kids, those relationships rarely get off the ground as I do my best to make my position clear from the start.

@Blackberry I laughed out loud at that, and then felt bad for a second on the small chance you were being serious ><

@shpadoinkle_sue , thats how I feel as of now, I do realize it’s odd but the desire just isn’t there.However I think raising kids that I didn’t birth could be an option, depending on the circumstance.

@wonderingwhy, she should’ve at least been greatful you were honest vs. pretending to want children to apease her- and later revealing it’s not your thing.

I don’t want kids and I hope to find a guy who feels the same.

@boxer3 I knew there was a risk she’d decide firmly she wanted kids at some point, but the suddenness sort of caught me off guard. Especially as, in the beginning and middle of our relationship, she was fairly ambiguous about wanting kids and I’d been very consistent with not wanting them. We’d even talked about what would likely happen if she decided she wanted kids (we figured it would be an amicable split). Then about a little shy of a year after we first started seeing each other, I get “Well, I thought you’d be more reasonable about it and might change your attitude!”; and that was pretty much that. I think as much as anything she was pissed about having fooled herself into betting that I wasn’t being honest with her, myself, or both.

@wonderingwhy, well- it’s unfortunate that it played out that way, especially if you felt strongly about her, but you’re right. She fooled herself. For some reason people tend to theorize that if they wait it out people are going to change their minds or change their actions in other instances, even if they give no hint that they plan on doing so- and that’s usually not the case. People hold on to what they want people to be, or the version of them that they hope they can be- and then get frustrated when that idealistic mind set is shattered by the truth that’s been in front of them the entire time.

@boxer3 It’s ok, I was joking.

oh good, then I’m officially not an asshole :]close call.

I have very little desire to have kids now or in the future. I may change my mind but I can’t imagine it. My boyfriend doesn’t want kids either.

I have never wanted to have children. I’ve made it a point not to get romantically involved with anyone who either already has children, or wants children in the future.

I would also never get involved with anyone who didn’t want and love animals.

@Kardamom

“I would also never get involved with anyone who didn’t want and love animals.”

Me neither.

I don’t want any; neither does my husband. If he wanted kids, I would have to tell him no, and let him decide if that was his motivation to be in a marriage.

Dating someone with kids is more like dating a family. Especially if the kids are young – often there’s some baby mama or daddy drama to contend with. Personally, I would try to avoid getting entangled in a complicated relationship like that.

No. Will you take mine? (just kidding…)

@cazzie Are they good? I’ll take them if they won’t break or ruin my stuff :)

@cazzie are they sticky?

@Blackberry & @Kardamom The thing with kids is, you never know what you’re going to get, much like the proverbial box of chocolates. One is autistic and the other we suspect of having aspergers. They ruin stuff on a pretty regular basis and at times are sticky.

@cazzie is there such a thing as kids that don’t ruin things or occasionally get sticky?