Is it normal to be sad when you've never had a real birthday?

Sounds normal to me. I know many people feel differently, but I think that birthdays are important. I think it’s really a positive thing to take one day out of the year to celebrate your own life. That’s good stuff.
Have you ever told your close friends or family members how you feel? They might assume that because you “hate” birthdays, you don’t want anything for yours. Or, because you normally don’t, they might just assume there is a reason for that.

Is it they just didn’t celebrate your birthday because they didn’t seem to care or was it they didn’t have the money or the time to celebrate? I say if they had cake and a present than they were celebrating it. It doesn’t alway need to be a party. I always just enjoyed being with family on my birthday.

I think I’d be sad if no one cared that it was my birthday. If I were you, I’d take the bull by the horns and plan your own celebration. It’s your day, do what you like!

If you want more of a celebration, you might have to let people around you know this.

I’ve never had a a birthday “party”. But I have celebrated my birthday with my family. When I was a kid my mom would make a cake and have my grandma over for dinner on our birthdays. We would get a present as well.
My husband usually tries to take me out for supper on my birthday, but that isn’t always possible. Sometimes I get a small gift from my grown son and daughter. Usually my husband and I don’t buy gifts for each other.
There has never been a big fuss made over my birthday, and sometimes I have wished there might be a little more, but overall I try to do something small for myself on my birthday and if no one else makes a fuss,
oh well.

That sucks. My family goes way overboard for everyone’s birthday. We use them as a reason to get together and have a hell of a good time. Nobody really cares about their own birthday, it’s just a good reason to get together.

My father was an unwanted child in a wealthy home. He was raised by the help, and received underwear for Christmas and birthdays. As you can imagine he hated both. If tradition is something that everyone in your culture does, but you are ignored, it’s normal to feel slighted, angry, etc. It does not have to stay that way. Because my father never was made to feel loved, he thought that love was the same as money. He kept track of every dime he spent on me from the day I was born (including birthday and Christmas presents), and kept me updated on a regular basis. Don’t let your childhood warp you so much that you cannot function properly in the here and now!

Throw yourself the biggest durned bash anyone ever saw. Enjoy yourself, and pledge to stop living in the past, for the present is now. (Pun intended!) Hugs to you!

No, what happens in childhood can determine your feelings about your birthday forever. My birthday is a few days after Christmas. Everyone always forgot it when I was little or I got combination birthday/Christmas gifts (wtf?) or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I hated it.

What you can do now is control how your birthday is celebrated. Tell people inb advance that your birthday is coming up. If you want to have a quiet dinner with friends invite them. Or throw yourself a birthday party. Do it the way you want to, but you be in charge of it. Don’t wait for others.

BTW, @Tbag, happy forthcoming birthday!

Of course it is normal to feel sad about not having birthday celebrations. Maybe you can buck the trend and throw yourself a party this year!

Ummm. Do your friends even know your birth date? Guys have no memory for this stuff. List it on FB.

Of course you would be sad. That makes ME sad! I want to go punch your parents and shake them up and ask, “What were you thinking??”

My mom didn’t let me have a birthday party after age 8, except when I turned 12 I think I had a slumber party. Not sure about the age. But, my parents still celebrated my birthday in that I could pick a present, where or what I wanted to have as a birthday dinner, cake etc. Also, all my close relatives called to wish me a happy birthday.

Have you told your parents you want to do something special? Have some friends over or maybe go with them somewhere. Seems normal you would want to celebrate somehow, considering it is customary in most western cultures; I am not sure where you live. Some religions don’t allow birthday celebration, is that why they don’t want to celebrate?

You sound like me lol. I had probably two or three birthdays when I was younger. One of them only my best friend showed up. My mum had set up the table with food and all, makes me sad thinking about it now. I was never really close enough to other people to warrant birthday parties. You’re not the only one.

That is normal. Gee, I’m sorry you never had a birthday party. (Hands you a cake and a present) Why not cleabrate it on here? :) Happy Almost Birthday! :D

My dad never had a birthday celebration, so when he married my mom, she made sure there was a party. His birthday was three days after Christmas. My brothers were born in January and I, in February. Made for a lot of parties, each with a lopsided cake!

I would be totally sad! (then again, I cried myself to sleep the one year my Dad forgot to call me on my Birthday… but I’m kind of immature like that when it comes to Birthdays)

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW! seriously!

From my teens to my twenties one of my closest friends was a guy. His birthday is Christmas Eve and he has an Italian American family (like mine) Every year, for this kids birthday, they’d go to the grandparents house and eat the 7-fishes meal and go to Midnight Mass and he’d get gypped out of a real birthday party. Sometimes they’d remember to bring candles and they’d stick the candle in the Italian Rum cake

The first year he and his girlfriend moved in together, I got a hold of her and we planned a surprise party for him at their apartment. He had already told me that they weren’t going to the grandparents for C-‘mas Eve dinner, so the rest just kind of made sense.

When I was calling our friends to let them know about the party, none of them were aware that Pete never had a birthday party of his own. So many people said that if they knew, they’d have done this waayyy sooner.

So, what I’m trying to say… TELL people when it’s your birthday, and if you have to, throw your own party.
(Happy Birthday)

I guess it depends on why your family didn’t give you a birthday party. One of my best friends and her family are Jehovah’s Witnesses, and they just don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas. But she enjoys attending other non-JW parties and celebrations, but she doesn’t feel unhappy or weird about not celebrating them within her own family.

I think if you don’t belong to a group that frowns upon birthday celebrations, then it would be kind of sad and unusual that your parents didn’t give you a party (even a small one if they were poor). Do you know why your parents didn’t give you any parties?

I think it’s normal to want to celebrate. Sadness is there because you don’t have what you want and everybody wants different things so like others have written, let the people closest to you know what you like or put together a little outing and invite people to celebrate with you.

I’m not a big fan of birthdays. For a while I didn’t like them because they were never any good. Then I didn’t figure I deserved a good one. They for a while I thought I never should have been given life

Maybe I was reading too much into it. Birth days are just random. Celebrating yourself can be done at any time, and perhaps it shouldn’t have anything to do with whether you deserve to be celebrated or not (I was generally of the opinion that I had done nothing worth celebrating and that being born was too random to be worth anything).

Maybe it’s just a random celebration and gathering, but even then it kind of fails for me because I almost never could get the people I really wanted to actually show up.

I think it’s marvelous that you can decide you want a party. Hopefully you can find someone to organize it for you. Organizing your own is kind of shitty. It feels like no one cares. But if the party matters that much, they organize it. When people show up, you’ll probably feel better.