Why do some people not know when to stop talking?

In my case, it is part of my OCD – talking is a compulsion that I must actively fight.

To some extend I am guilty to that sometimes.
I can be a talkertalkertalker.
The reason I talk much those rare times is that I feel in a ‘flow’, and that is a nice, stimulating feeling which makes that I want to go on to feel more of it.
Fortunately for the listeners I start to be aware of my rambling pretty quickly usually after thirty minutes ;-) and I quit.

Maybe if we use just the right balance of tact and persausion when hinting to the overly verbose and loquacious person that they’re just a tad bit too multiloquent for their own good, maybe we can pull it off without making ourselves look like the persecuters. =)

Nerves.
LOL my husband reminds me that when I am nervous I do this.

I come from a whole family of talkers. We all talk too much. Luckily, no one has ever told me that I’m talking too much. I would be really embarrassed if that happened.

To some extent I am also guilty of misspelling….
Thanks, @zensky!

I tend to be a talkertalkertalker. Thanks @rebbel for that perfect way of putting it. I grew up in a huge and noisy family and I think I find quiet unsettling when I am not by myself. I can sit silently with my husband and kids, but when I don’t know someone well I tend to want to fill silence with chat. As I get older, and with a lot of effort, I am getting better at stopping myself from doing that.

I am with @ANef_is_Enuf no one, aside from my parents and my husband, has ever told me I was talking too much and if they did I would be totally embarrassed!

@SuperMouse You are welcomewelcomewelcome!

@SuperMouse you actually explained it very well, for me. My family is just big and loud, and we have always been talkers. So when I’m with a group of people, it’s hard not to immediately attempt to recreate what I’ve always known. I am quiet, otherwise, though.

I like the old saying, “Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.” I highly value silence.

I interpret some people’s blathering nonsense as nervousness. It seems that some people actually fear silence.

@SuperMouse
I do the same thing.

@tom_g When I told someone I went hiking alone because I like the silence to think and such, their response was “Yeah, but who wants to think that much?”

I always thought that was kind of strange.

The more extroverted personalities are naturally more enthusiastic conversationalists and often have strong abstract capabilities. I am the ENTP on the Meyers Briggs typing, or the Enneagram # 7 the ” Enthusiast ” personality.

Quite frankly I find those that can’t carry on lively, intelligent conversation to be annoying. Hey, we all have to blend, but, at LEAST some of us enthusiastic types actually have something interesting to talk about. haha

I am very self aware and do try to adjust to whomever I am conversing with, and I also am very well integrated and have a quiet side as well, but, ya know, the opposite holds true as well.
I have friends that I just want to light a stick of dynamite under their ass…jesus, mercy, do you have anything going on in that orb atop your head? lol

I come from a family of talkers. I enjoy talking, while others get talked out faster. Sometimes it is difficult to gauge it if the non talker is being polite and carrying on the conversation.

Some people even when told, or given not so subtle signals, don’t pick up on the other persons clues they have had enough conversation. They aren’t good reading body language, don’t take a hint. They need to be told you want to rest, need some silence.

@Coloma Yeah, probably should have clarified: what if they don’t have jack-shit to say that is interesting lol?

@Blackberry lol! Personally, I like to think I am incredibly interesting! When I find myself listening to someone dull as a rock drone on and on, I tend to patiently tune out until I can find a convenient excuse to remove myself from the conversation. I just can’t bring myself to humiliate them by asking them to stop talking!

@Blackberry Fabulous question. I have wondered this exact thing all my life, starting with my mother’s non-stop insistent talkingtalkingtalking.

And I am appreciating the explanations I am seeing. Honestly, I have been clueless for years and years as to why you people talk so much. I have had conversations (mainly with women, but men do it too) in which my part has been “Hello, how are you?”.....“Well, been nice talking with you.” Honestly, not even the slightest opportunity to insert a single word during the entire “conversation”.

@Coloma lest you think I am one of the bumbleheads, most people think I am just a fabulous conversationalist because I do ask questions and I do listen, and ask more questions (assuming I get the chance). I’m not making this up. These people who talk so much (and no offense to any who do, especially now that I am understanding why) tell me over and over how much they enjoy talking with me. (It’s because I bring them out and get them to talk about themselves.)

My perception of a conversation involves two speaking parts during which both parties talk, ask questions of the other, and build on what each other say…..not just one-sided endless talking.

@tom_g I too value silence. I also value the benefits of using silence in conversation. I first realized its value early in my career when I had a very intelligent adversary who could unfailingly get out me anything he wanted to know. I finally realized that he simply judiciously used silence with me. He would ask a question and after I had answered, he would sit silently. So I would talk some more. And he would sit silently. And I would talk some more…and tell him everything. I will never forget the day and the moment I made him blink first with silence. And I have used it ever since, but hopefully more kindly than he used it on me…..nevertheless, it was a great lesson.

@plethora

Of course! I am talking more about those that only talk about about the most mundane stuff, and seem to lack all enthusiasm for any subject.

I just find it sad that there are so many that don’t get EXCITED about life! :-)

In all fairness to myself (and probably the others in this thread that describe themselves as talkative), I also pick up on social cues. If someone looks like they are zoning out or glazed over, I know to shut up. I also can tell when someone is trying to say something, so I don’t just steal the conversation… conversation should be shared. I have met people that don’t pick up on these cues, and that is a whole other ball game. I can just sit and talk for hours on end with the right people, but, I don’t have to run the conversation all alone. In fact, that’s not even fun.

Yeah, that’s the ball game I want to rain on. And with acid rain.

@Blackberry yeah, I see what you’re saying. I think I understood that from the start, I just answered this question originally trying to give some perspective from the “talkers” point of view. But, I know people who fit into that category, and I don’t like them, either.
I think I understand, though. I think it is compulsive. I know that when I get to talking, it’s very difficult for me to just stop. I don’t ignore social cues, but I can understand how some people might get to that point.
I dunno, hope that helps.

Or, I can slap someone, if that’s preferable.

I am a chatterbox. I don’t think to the point of annoyance though and I do pick up social signals and I can be quiet.

I tend to talk more when I am nervous. I can rabbit on a bit then.

I talk very loudly and a lot (online and in real life), and while I’m often told to speak quieter because I am shouting at the person sitting two feet from me, I usually don’t talk too much to the point where I have to be told to shut up. Except for when I’m talking in class, of course. I’m just a hyperactive, loud, talkative, energetic person in general, I guess.

Well…we’re all like dogs and horses, some of us are Greyhounds and Arabians and others are Retrievers and draft horses. haha

As I’ve noted earlier on this thread, hearing why people talk a lot and/or loudly is helpful to me because I have never understood why people would do that. Reading down the thread, I see it noted multiple times that “I don’t talk too much…as in having to be told to shut up”. Here’s another perspective…..for person who really does not care to be talked to death, you reach the point of talking too much at least an hour before I will ask you to please just shut the hell up. Actually, I can only remember doing that once and it was on a packed airplane where everyone was dead tired except for these two guys who had just met who felt the need to talk over the back of a seat to each other for all the rest of us to hear. I did go over to one of the guys and asked him if he would mind not uttering another word as the rest of us were trying to sleep. He pleasantly complied.

For someone I know or am personally talking with, I will just shut off the chatter (as far as I’m concerned) by getting off the phone with the person or exiting the room….long before it is so bothersome that I have to say something.

For those of you who talk because you are nervous, I had no idea. I shut up when I am nervous.

No clue, I totally do this. I am aware of it sometimes but it’s usually too late. I always ask people to stop me. Those that love and (bless their heart) take mercy on me know how to redirect me in a conversation.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I would literally let you talk me to death. You’re exempt.

I believe the latin term for this is slackjaw babbleatme.
Nothing that a slap across the head can’t fix.

I always joke about having the all you can babble” phone plan.
I just got my new bill and one of my calls to my most esoteric friend that can talk circles around me with his fast, always learning brain, was 143 minutes long! haha
Some kinda record even for me!

@Blackberry And I suppose that’s why I still have friends and lovers, lol. Thank you.

@plethora
For me stress works both ways. Sometimes I am silent, sometimes I need to talk. I only speak with intelligent people.

And if you deem someone unintelligent @philosopher, how do you react?

@Bellatrix
Than I am silent. I have little tolerance for ignorance when I am nervous.

I talk as much as i listen. Although many times ive been considered a chatterbox. It all depends who im with. But i dont really see anyone getting annoyed, except for my teachers back in highschool lol. I think the only reason why they’d say i talk too much is simply because everything i say is pure honesty. People dont like that. So automatically ive been told to shut up. Not everyone appreciates a confident girl :p. voila.