Can you write a three-sentence story comprised with only a person, place and thing?

In a dark hollow deep in the coalfields of Virginia, in a town named for a long forgotten governor, a storyteller was born. On the day she was born, her daddy put a shamrock in the window of the local Five and Dime he’d built from the ground up. She was named after her grandfather, Lee Smith.

One night, as I was walking home, an unidentified flying object landed at a park near my house. I was mortified to see a giant dark green humanoid come out of the object, holding a lucky jade pendant in his hands. As he approached me with the luminous celestial gem, I tried to run, but I soon woke up, realizing it was only a dream.

http://theawesomer.com/photos/2008/11/112708_gort_t.jpg

Once upon a time, there was a society that didn’t laud celebrities. A young man from a small town in Oregon set out to search for something new. He knew he was unprepared, but fortunately he had his mind to guide him along.

I couldn’t believe who I saw come out of WinDixie as I was going in. Here in Decatur Tennessee we are each others celebrities being the small town we are,however today, I got to meet, Hank Williams Jr. He stopped to present me with a good luck medallion that read: Thanks for your support.

James Stewart always loved working Edmonton. As his chauffeur pulled up in front of the Mayfield Dinner Theatre fresh from Airport Way, he glanced down at the St. Christopher Medal in his hand and quickly whispered “You’ve never failed me yet.” Surely the driver didn’t notice the slight knock to his knees as he stood way for Mr. Stewart to come out of the vehicle.

Tomas Vanek glides in over the blue line at the First Niagra Center, cradling his lucky stick. He snaps a wrister towards the net. Score, top shelf here mama hides the cookies, and the place goes crazy!

That was supposed to be where mama hides the cookies. I suck at proofreading.

@bkcunningham – Very good. Nice description and use of details. Score: 8

@MRSHINYSHOES – Not too bad. But no clear identifying hometown or favorite celebrity. Cool lucky Jade pendant injection. Score: 4.5

@Blackberry – Unprepared. Hint: Use a creative mind to guide you along. Score: 2

@Roby – Not terrible, Roby. But I’m not going to ‘slam-score’ you for your poor grammar or relative. It’s just not too inspiring. But please keep trying, you never know… Score: 3

@smilingheart1 – It’s a good thing I like Jimmy Stewart. But your character’s viewpoint and great use of specific details make you…not fail. Yep. Keep it up. Score: 9.97

@Adirondackwannabe – Your goals could have reached better with me. Perhaps, another shot? Score: 4

Please, keep trying writers! I mean, flutherers!

Now, some of you are very good. As for the others, please try again. Heck, I want you to do better. It only makes us all better. Which Includes myself. Yep.

All you observers are welcome to spin a tale, as well. Have some fun. Get better. Be great.

Hershel Williams, “Hoyshal” to his friends, was my cousin when we were growing up in Lasu Paentahthol, Northwest Territories. When he became famous, which is to say, when he will become famous, which was yesterday once he passes through my Orange Tree, he will no longer be my cousin, or, not to put too fine a point on it, I will no longer be his cousin; fame and trans-dimensional travel being that way. Still, I maintain possession of his favorite box—and it is a particular box; not a kind—of cereal, which having grown quite stale despite its many passages through the Orange Tree (a kind of tesseract generation station), and even though there is only one last bowl left, I am looking forward to the anniversary of his once and future death; that I may consume the last (and first) ever (skim) milk-sudsed bowl of that little elf’s Lucky Charms.

@wundayatta – First of all, wunda…that was supremely bizarre. But given that you covered the questional details, in a grammar-wordthy and trans-dimensional fashion no less, I’ll let you and your bowl of charms pass through. Score: 7.5

(Hmm…wunda and yatta, that makes sense now. Yep)

Sigh, @Mantralantis I can’t help that you don’t recognize absolute brilliance when you see it. Also, I have to wonder about your challenges with respect to humor.

Clearly you have little experience with the bizarre. If you want to see bizarre… well, never mind. You know what, I like to score questions in my head, but I have never, heretofore, provided a score to anyone. Tell you what, to save your feelings, I’m not going to give you a score, but I do have to convey one thing to you: I think you could do with a creativity workshop.

PS I can’t tell for sure, but the way you separated the string, I don’t have any confidence that you have parsed it correctly. Toodles ;-)

@wundayatta – Oh, your breaking my heart. But sincerely , I meant no disrespect to you at all. And by the way, your kind of ‘absolute brilliance’ is in the eye of the beholder. Who know’s, with much eleviating stubborness of course, you can heretofore write me something that caters to a more clear understanding of creativity and that can possibly, finally capture my eye of your beholding.

I could say more, but you may not care.

Be Good.

Yeah, @smilingheart1, using Jimmy Stewart was a sure fired way to win. That’s not fair! jk Very, very good. I’m impressed.

@Mantralantis, a little old girl from a land rich in coal got a very tailsman from you; with my score of 8. I know you are not God (maybe more like George Burns), and I respect this being your contest. But I think @Adirondackwannabe‘s referecence to hockey, unfortunately, scored a goal with me.

This story was originally about Béatrice Dalle making an appearance in Montréal. Everyone was excited and happy, and all rushed to the burger joint to see her, along with their copy of her MySpace profile picture, a penis with an eyeball instead of a knob. Problem is, a bunch of Vikings came and killed everyone, so it never happened.

I was teaching at the jail. Today a student stole the last box of Crunch n Munch. There will be a Come to Jesus meeting at the jail next week with them damn convicts. (Was that right?)

Person, place and thing. Your hometown is the place you have to mention. A thing is a good luck charm and a person is a celebrity. I have written two for the little exam (which I love, btw @Mantralantis). I have used the word “celebrity” loosely. I may have taken the question loosely also. But, I thought it was fun.

OK.

I was teaching at the jail in my hometown (that part is true..) One of my students, Lindsey Lohan, stole the last box of Lucky Lucky Charms that we had (That part is only partially true..writer’s license and all.) Lindsey Lohan’s luck has come to an end, as she will find out on Monday. (That part is hopefully true.)

Izat better? I LOVE exams! True!

@Mantralantis, is and shall be, the judge me Lady. But I give you a superb for a kickass second go round. ding-ding Next.

@Symbeline – Score: 5 – Whom exactly would your audience be?

@Dutchess_III – Score: 3 – Unispiring. Lohan?

@Mantralantis Vikings?

People, flutherers, if I can’t be honest with your work, what would you expect from me every time? A perfect ten?

How about I answer my own question and see exactly how you score my story? Would you like that? (I’m assuming you would. Yep.)

@Symbeline – Psst! Probably. 8^/

Be Good.

@bkcunningham – Thanks. You had valid points with your remarking comments. But please, relax. Let them all think on their own accord okay. (I’m not too far away…)

@Mantralantis ”@wundayatta – Oh, your breaking my heart. But sincerely , I meant no disrespect to you at all. And by the way, your kind of ‘absolute brilliance’ is in the eye of the beholder. Who know’s, with much eleviating stubborness of course, you can heretofore write me something that caters to a more clear understanding of creativity and that can possibly, finally capture my eye of your beholding.”

And you are making comments about grammar? Please proofread your own comments. Your? I suspect you mean “you’re.” “Know’s?” What’s with the extraneous apostrophe? “Eleviating?” Wow. I don’t have a clue. Alleviating? Elevating? Leavening? Levity?

“Absolute brilliance?” Sigh. Double sigh. Irony is lost on the young, I think.

The deeper point being that you can critique all you want, but you are only making fun of yourself in doing so. It’s embarrassing is what it is. Your comments are not helpful. Just let people write and have fun. You have no credibility as judge or juror. Perhaps, though, as executioner.

@wundayatta – Okay. Very well, Absolute Brilliance. You made your points. Now go and get some tissues for your pride and leave me to my own imperfections. It’s obvious you don’t need to be here, or should have never been for that matter.

Farewell…elsewhere

Tomas Vanek, two goals last night. Sabres three, Panthers zip. That’s all I wanted, I’m more than happy, end of story!

@Mantralantis Oh you just love trouble, don’t you? Ordering people off your question? Not cool. In fact, most likely to have the opposite impact of what you want. I thought this question was for fun. That’s what I’m having. I’m not taking myself very seriously here. You give me far more attention than I deserve. But, as long as you care to engage, I’ll keep on responding. Ignore me and I’ll go away. I bet you can’t ignore me. Do you have any idea of what my point has been all along? I’ll give you a hint. You can never take me at face value. Never! Not in my stories and not in my comments and certainly not in my absolute brilliance. Sigh.

Go ahead. Make my day.

This @Mantralantis person sure is arrogant!

I thought you were having trouble with your homework or something when I read the question. Then when I read the descriptions I was like: oh. :P

@wundayatta – Very, well, AB. You have my permission, you may stay. Have all the fun you want with me. Giving you attention is relative. All things are relative. My growing kindness is…well, relative. If I actually ignored you, you wouldn’t like that, I can tell. And, yes, I’ve known all along what your point was especially after all those very long out-pourings you grilled me with like hamburgers – its otherwise known as a period, which comes at the end of a sentence. I long for those periods. I’m sorry, I mean points. Your right about the face value part. If I did know, it would probably be pretty high I imagine. But one should never say never. Perhaps not even with stories. Oh, my Sigh. Did I make your day?

@Dutchess_III – Yes, Dutchy, I can be arrogant. I’m sorry you really feel that way about me.

@CurLyFriiGal – Actually I am having trouble at home…on fluther. It’s a lot of work indeed. Thanks for stopping by anyway.

@Adirondackwannabe – I’m glad your last story ended. Yep.

Dude, ya gots to chill out lol.

@Symbeline – “chill out” is relative too.

Everything is relative, ecxept death and taxes. :D

@Symbeline – A lot of people may disagree with you on the Death and Taxes, Sym. But I can understand your feeling about that, somewhat. On the subject of this ‘relative’ thing, its more or less about sharing or experiencing the same or similar situations with others, or things with things. I personally conduct studies of social relativity here at this site. Obviously, the biggest ‘relative’ here at fluther is how easily disgruntled members disgruntle others in the same or ‘relative’ fashion, despite personal philosophies, to the point where it gets out of hand and finds a way to repeat in another similar pattern. There are absolutely no excuses one can disagree with anyone or anything about the effects of social relativity, or even general relativity for that matter. Things happen for a reason. In this case, as with anywhere, people learn off each other and either change from that or they don’t. Its a way to build upon your own philosophy really.

(watch how things continue after this next comment…)

Wow, things can really get way off subject huh?

@Mantralantis you’re welcome, and I hope that it slows down around fluther for you.

@Mantralantis Your mistake was to try to limit things to three sentences. Probably you were thinking of three easy sentences, but maybe you forgot that sentences can go along for pages, depending on what kind of writer you are. You may have longed for periods, but your longing was nothing compared to mine as I sought to say what I needed to say within the draconian strictures of the question.

@CurLyFriiGal – Thank you, Gal. If it does, it’ll be miracle (about the slowing down…from the Slam-Gram Gang)

@wundayatta – Hi there, Your Brilliance. Can’t stay away from me, huh? Yep, I know, I’m such a magnet. Anyway… actuaIly, I was thinking that my three-sentence story idea wouldn’t burden anyone with something that they may consider being too long to make in a comment. But thanks for your continued honesty. Although, presumptuous as that still seems to me. Sigh.

Draconian strictures? Wow. I suppose you think I’ll be longing for another wordy period from you, huh? Your funny, Brilla. Yep.

Be Good. 8^)

But see, if you want short, you need Gailcalled. She is a great believer in brevity. I, on the other hand, as you have found to your great dismay, can’t be bothered with editing. I just go on and on and one as the thoughts spew from my brain like rainbow colored drops in a sun-shower. Each, of course, being brilliant, just like me.

Why, you probably don’t believe it, but even my poop is brilliant. My poop scores 145 on intelligence tests! My poop has won three nobel prizes so far, in three different fields of endeavor.

Now I do have a question for you, my dogged slave. You say that “your funny,” and I wonder what you mean: my funny? Did I make a joke? Was that my funny? I mean, you couldn’t have meant “you’re” funny, as in “you are” funny, because I’m sure you would never make a grammar error like that, seeing as how you are such a judge of other people’s grammar. But, of course, you aren’t presumptuous at all, are you? Assuming you even know what the word means.

Alas, I would love to go on and on…. and on. Because I know how much you love my words and for some god forsaken reason, you feel it necessary to read them all (you have my condolences). I wish I could point you towards some of my lengthier posts on fluther, and you ‘d realize how concise I am actually being here.

So, my friend, just to save you more angst and frustration, if not annoyance, I will cut myself off here, before I start discussing the meaning of life or some such ineluctable topic. Don’t bother to look that up. I just threw it in to annoy you. All in good fun, of course.

I do look forward to your next abrasive missive.

@wundayatta – I do not wish to be “abrasive” with you no longer. And, yes, the ‘your’ was suppose to have been ‘you’re’. Good going, thanks for correcting me. I was in haste, as usual. So I suppose I needed that yet again, as well. But one thing I can’t fathom, I don’t know where you get off me being this “such a judge of other people’s grammar”. Even though I may have wrongfully made a few comments to others about grammar, they’ve mostly been about certain styles of creativity, not creativity in general, really (am I not allowed to not like some styles?) I thought I was being less painful by using my own personal humor with them. I suppose I failed. Please, with much respect, don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m in the same vein as Gailcalled and a few others here at fluther with their more extra “abrasive” critiques. I agree with you when it comes to them. But don’t, no longer, put yourself in their shoes with their negative ways. And further, you can still be you without all this “poop” talk as well. It’s sorta funny but even I know its a bit ridiculous. I’m guilty of using senseless words and descriptia. But your still a good person with a heart I can tell.

Be…good, wundayatta. I feel I have understood most of your pain and I think you, of mine. Both of us…were just two misunderstood and crossed flutherers on our way to different paths of… wherever it needs to takes us.

Ok @Mantralantis. I will accept that you are a good person who has annoyed me by displaying a rather condescending attitude. I liked your question. What I didn’t like was your decision to display your judgments. If was a perfectly fine question, to me. I didn’t see it necessary for you to add any kinds of judgments at all. Let others decide that for themselves. If you have to reply, I would have preferred that you say things you like, just to keep the good spirits going.

Making comparisons is a destructive thing to those who do not fare well. In a place like this community is very important and feeling good about each other is very important. When I feel disrespected, especially by someone who doesn’t seem to know what they are doing, it makes me angry and so I’ll fight back against the disrespect. I may be an idiot and I may not be a good writer, and I may have stupid ideas, and you may disagree with me, and you can say any or all of those things if you explain your reasoning. But if you say it just to say it, with no particular reason, then I am going to object.

And if I needle you, and you allow yourself to be needled, I will continue to needle you until you change your tune or I get bored. I hate certain attitudes. The one that really bothers me is when people think they can make good judgments when the judgments they make are ones I totally disagree with. Usually this happens with people who think they know more than they actually do know.

So that’s what happened. Normally I try to be kind, but sometimes the dynamic of a situation makes that difficult, and if someone is giving me a hard time, then I will give them tit for tat. I don’t enjoy being abrasive either, but if I have to do it, I will try to enjoy it. Anyway, that’s it for me. I will try not to bother you any more.