Do you think it's OK to let children play outside by themselves?

Yes, but I’m only going off my experience: we ran around the neighborhood and never had any near-misses. We even played hide and seek at night in a cul-de-sack. I wasn’t hit by a car or molested, either.

well, @Blackberry, That’s so great! I don’t really know if there are any bad people are in my neighborhood

@Blackberry Once I asked a question about cycling and the dangers thereoff and I talked about near-misses too.
A Jelly told me then that that should be near-hits (obviously all the traffic that we encounter and that we do not touch are misses…, when we hit a car that would qualify as a near-miss).

My 6yr old son plays outside without us a lot. We live on a corner lot with a 4 way stop. He knows not to go near the ends of the driveway, let alone the road.

I think you should let your neighbors do as they wish unless you see them neglecting/abusing their children.

EDIT: I grew up in a multiple locations due to divorced parents. At our apartment, I am certain there were not so great people…I played for hours alone outside and walked across busy streets from age 6 on.

Our house was also near a busy street, a creek and a pond. I played alone for hours and crossed VERY busy streets alone from age 5 on.

Where I live, it’s only okay if you are perfectly fine with your children getting kidnapped. Just sayin’.

File a complaint? Letting your children play outside without hovering constantly over them is hardly abuse or neglect in my opinion. And how do you know they aren’t keeping an eye on them from inside the house?

I hope the parents are enjoying playing outside. I know it’s typo, but it strikes me funny.

It depends on the neighborhood and the the maturity of the kids. I think parents, these days, need to know where they can find their kids quickly. They need to know how prone the kids are to poor judgement. If you know they will follow rules and be careful, thee’s no reason they can’t go down the street to Jimmy’s house to play.
I do NOT think parents should scare their kids with worries about kidnapping. Over 90% of kidnappings are by the divorced spouse. The publicity for that kind of crime makes something that happens far from you seem more possible for you too, even though your situation may be entirely different.

@lillycoyote And how do you know they aren’t keeping an eye on them from inside the house? Exactly.

We have large picture windows on two sides of our home that overlook the area we allow our son to play in.

When my son was 4, he was out playing in the front & back yard…running between both as he acted out a play. A random woman from several suburbs away apparently drove by, called 911 & stated that a small child was “unattended”.

An officer showed up. My son introduced himself and asked why he was visiting us. I came out just as the officer was questioning my son I had just gone in to drop a large amount of mail inside….Needless to say I was perturbed. I immediately thought it was one of my neighbors that isn’t fond of homeschoolers that made the call.

I emailed the police chief he’s a neighbor of mine…He informed me that this type of complaint is common and that he had no clue why the woman called 911 we can see the Police Station from our home…He said he wouldn’t have even checked up on it, except they have to once they receive a complaint.

I had been watching my son the entire time. As a matter of fact, during the 20 mins he was outside, I had been in the backyard checking on bird feeders (out of sight of cars on the road) and in the front yard collecting my mail. The mailman stopped to talk to me and to my son. My son was alone for possible 45 secs tops.

@rebbel Ooooh, yeah. I never thought of that lol.

@Blackberry We learn some every day!

It really depends on the neighborhood. I let my sons play outside at that age but I kept an eye on them. Our house was the hangout for all the kids and I let them all run around in our backyard so I knew where they were.

There was a young boy and sister who were those ages that lived in the neighborhood we moved from last year. The parents didn’t have a clue about what their kids were doing. The little girl (age 4) rode her bicycle up and down the middle of the street and the little boy (age 6) was violent and showed his penis frequently to several of the kids, including my daughter. My daughter wasn’t allowed to play with them anymore after that. I’m very happy we don’t live there now.

Depends. But I’d say it’s okay. Beside the bad things listed above letting a kid alone can help him/her build some confidence and let him/her explore the world a bit.

I think you should simply talk to them about it. Offer to baby-sit if they don’t have time. Like others said, if they are watching from inside ask them if they are so you’re not so worried.

It depends on the child and where they live. I grew up on a cul-de-sac and it was pretty much a traffic free zone for the majority of the day, and the bulk of the traffic that did come up had kids who were playing out… We ranged from 3 – 15

I think it completely depends on the location, community and the child. My daughter, as lovable as she is, is extremely curious and doesn’t always follow rules. She “forgets” the rules when she becomes curious, so I’m not comfortable with her being outside alone for too long. For the same reason, I don’t like her walking to school even though we live 4 blocks away. She WOULD go to friend’s houses without communicating with us, easily. Also, we live on a really busy street and I don’t trust the drivers more than anything—one boy got hit recently by a driver who was texting while driving through a school zone.

Meh.

My son is three.

I cook dinner for my family, and for our bachelor neighbor and dear friend. When dinner is ready, I send my son to fetch him. He says “Bye, Mama!” goes out the front door, down the sidewalk, up the stairs, into the guy’s house, and brings him back for dinner. All without “supervision”, because he knows the rules: stay on the sidewalk, go straight there and come straight back.

“Don’t go where cars are” is a very easy rule to learn. Even for a 4 and 6 year old.

We had a fence installed at both our houses for the toddlers to play in the yard. They know how to open the gate, so we have to watch them closely. I usually sit near the door and watch them.

I think it’s ok if the parents have taught the kids how to take care of themselves and not get hurt. I think it’s far better to do that than to over-protect them.

i think it’s okay, if they have a fenced in back yard, like I did when I was a kid. (As long as they’re at least 6 or 7) But if they’re going to be playing near the road, I wouldn’t let them.

My six year old could be trusted when she was 2 (not that I did, but she coudl have been) but my wo year-old really couldn’t be trusted right now. She has zer road-sense or, seemingly, and sense of fear at all.

Not at all. Especially not children as young as the ones you described. Those are very irresponsible parents.

I see that too sometimes where I live——small children as young as 5 or so playing by themselves, adults nowhere to be seen. I once saw a young boy about 5 or so walking home by himself, yes, all alone, at night! Can you believe that?

No, there are just too many dangers out there for small children to play by themselves. That’s like letting them swim in a big pool by themselves. No way. Even in a fenced yard, anything can happen to a young child that the child is not mature enough to handle——like cutting himself or falling on a rusty nail. Something like that needs to be tended to immediately. A small child might just ignore it, risking an infection.

I don’t personally know any child that would ignore being impaled by a nail, and my son is the one who put his head through a fish tank and was worried about the water on the floor.

Yes.

I spent my entire childhood outside with my friends.

Not even being impaled, but just a scrape on a dirty, rusty nail can lead to a dangerous infection, and a small kid may just ignore that. An adult can tend to such wounds quickly.

Well, we’ll just keep our kids playing in the backyard and far away from abandoned construction sites.

Sheesh.

You know, people die eating steak every day. You can’t bubblewrap the planet.

Most backyards aren’t like the environment for the Boy in the Plastic Bubble either! A lot have hidden dangers lurking around! That includes nails, bits of glass, sharp rocks, etc. That’s usual in fact.

I think children should have some kind of supervision.. Not that they will ever get hurt, stolen or anything.. but what if they run into each other with their bikes? (if they have any) and they are both knocked out… there is no one to get help.. a car could come zooming through there and run over them or something.. so….. no….. there are kids that are always in my neighbor hood that are always outside alone… I just keep an eye on them

@Spallybob1232 Exactly. Now on that word, enough said! End. Unfollow. Lol.

And I say again, @MRSHINYSHOES You can’t bubblewrap the planet.

You know what’s in my living room? Razor-sharp wood scrapers, hazardous chemical strippers, stains, and furniture finish, and all manner of breakable collectible records.

You know what my kid does’ with them? Nothing, unless I hand him a piece of sandpaper and ask him to help me.

The world is not a safe place. Raising a kid who takes safety for granted does that kid no favors. They need to learn to recognize danger and avoid it on their own. And they can’t do that if they’re never exposed to danger.

Hell, I remember riding my bike down a hill, into a fence, just to see if I could flip over the fence. It was so much fun. And once I missed and crashed and it hurt like hell. And then I didn’t do that anymore.

I wouldn’t let my children play outside close to a busy road and I would prefer they played in the backyard (we have good sized gardens) but as they grow up, they won’t want to be kept to the boundaries of their garden. They want to go and play with friends and they need to be allowed to learn about the world they live in and the dangers that exist in that world. In a quiet suburban area with limited traffic, and if the child is fairly sensible, I think you have to start letting them explore their world.

Wrapping our children in cotton wool is not healthy for them or for society in the long run. “Cotton wool kids” can grow up being frightened of the world. They can lack resilience and they can lack the coping skills they need to survive in our pretty much dog-eat-dog world.

@Sunny2 I hope the parents are enjoying playing outside. I know it’s typo, but it strikes me funny. Because the Mods are asleep and the Fluther Grammarians are off berating some poor noob for her illegal use of a semicolon.

If a kid cannot play in their own front yard, we have really disintegrated as a society.

Hovering too much can make a kid anxious later in life. They HAVE to be able to play alone with at least an illusion of self sufficiency. They need time to explore on their own and discover things at their own pace. They need time to themselves. It’s important to their development as an autonomous adult.

Even my 13 month old gets to have time “alone”. She’s in her playroom, not outside yet. She doesn’t know that I can see her. She can play by herself for about 20 minutes or so and every week, she goes a little bit longer.

I know this is causing some controversy, but they are only 6 and 4, and the older one as a dirtbike, an ATV, and a mini-motorcycle. They usually go outside (nude) at, like, 6 in the morning. People in my neighborhood don’t know how to drive, and plus, it’s a pretty big neighborhood and he rides around by himself. Did I mention he has a BB gun? and, I don’t see any signs that they are watching him. The garage is closed, the door is shut, the blinds in the windows are closed.

@sydsydrox Sound like normal farm boys to me.

If you are concerned, why not go over with a plate of cookies and talk to the parents.

When I was six, I lived on a farm and was outside ALL the time BY MYSELF at least at age 4 and probably some before that. I AM SO HAPPY that my grandparents didn’t have a neighbor like you, @sydsydrox.

You don’t like the way the kids are raised. That’s obvious. But you aren’t going to get anyone else on board who isn’t already there. Why don’t you go have your own kids so you can smother and hover over them all you want?

@keobooks, I don’t think @sydsydrox wants the children to be smothered. I think she’s just concerned about their safety, since they are playing in the road, and almost being run over.
I think your comment was very rude. :-/

@AshLeigh, I am just getting really angry about this. @sydsydrox asked a question and then keeps adding to the “offences of neglect” these terrible awful parents are putting on their poor poor children. Every post, there’s just a little bit more—just to drive the point in that much further.

Is the next post going to be that the OP saw the parents drive away in their RV, tossing the car keys out the window to the six year old and saying “We’ll be back before Christmas.. maybe..” and the 4 year old was wandering around with a festering head wound from a rabid dog bite?

I simply disagreed with the OPs point. I think kids need to be out on their own and not hovered over. I don’t like it at all when someone keeps adding more and more atrocities to their original story to make sure than anyone who disagrees with them looks like a buffoon.

Also, as it stands, they still sound like typical farm kids. I went around naked outside when I was that age. I knew lots of neighbors that had dirt bikes and guns at the same age.

There’s a time you mind your own business and a time to call social services. If the OP is so concerned why not just call social services and be done with it? I don’t think there is a case even with all the added horrible inactivities of the awful parents or whatever.

Blame people who can’t drive or kidnappers or molesters – don’t blame the parents for the fact that many members of our society are fundamentally fucked up. I will not raise my kids to be aware of every single danger out there, that’s not the point of life. I don’t helicopter parent and I don’t obsess about ‘what’s out there’ – my kids are a bit too young to play outside on the street just yet but when they’re a bit older (6 and above), they will. I live in Brooklyn, NY.

@keobooks We have an adorable family photo of my dad driving a huge 1940’s ford tractor at age 5 or 6 (Like this style) younger brother was standing behind his seat hanging on (he was about 3 or 4 at the time). My dad always had BB guns. By age 8-ish he was already hunting/pelting for pocket money

@sydsydrox Like @keobooks, some of my best childhood memories are of me exploring nature alone.

This entire discussion makes me ponder how Henry David would turn out in today’s age.

The 2 year old grandson was outside playing with his brother in our fenced yard, but he came in with a very shallow, bleeding slash (scratch really) from his ankle to his knee. He was playing on the firewood that is stacked along our fence.

Yep. It happens. As long as we don’t have to amputate, I’m happy.

@Seek_Kolinahr Yes, I was wondering. When I was growing up, between my brother and myself two or three trips to the emergency room a year were a matter of course. Is that still the way it is? And the visits were entirely related to play. Bicycle accidents, skate board accidents, cowboy and indian incidents, my brother got a play arrow in his eye once, I got the barrel of a plastic toy tank stuffed in my ear once, and tried baton twirling with one of the support rods for the motor or my dad’s radial arm saw, dropped on my toe, stupid kid stuff. I’m sure my parents could have done without it but it was just part of childhood. You were going to get hurt, your parents’s job was to keep you alive in spite of that.

@lillycoyote Not sure if you are a South Park fan, but your comment about your brother with a play arrow in his eye made me think of this episode. heehee

@lillycoyote I’m honestly the only person I know that didn’t break a bone at some point during their childhood. In fact, my only broken bone was recently – I broke a toe when I tripped over one of my husband’s curling weights.

Not for lack of trying, either. I dislocated my jaw a couple of times playing dodgeball, smashed a couple of teeth playing basketball, got a really good shiner the summer I pitched and took a line drive to the face. Needless to say, I’m not very good at sports.

For all the trumped-up importance of safety, I wouldn’t try to protect my son from breaking his arm falling out of a tree. Sure, it would hurt, but it would be a crime to take away the 15 seconds he got to be Tarzan in all his glory.

@keobooks, I also think that was pretty rude. I mean yes, they could be farmers or whatever, but haven’t you ever had the urge to just wonder if you could help? I mean what if one day you see a car coming and the little one was in the road and didn’t notice? No parents or adults around to help? Would you help the child or let them die at a young age for not thinking about the consequences of their actions? I’d love to have a neighbor like @sydsydrox who obviously wouldn’t let the child die and tell them “no” in the first place.

@Spallybob1232 I really agree with you, but running into each other on their bikes? really? and @MRSHINYSHOES that is very true. They have a pool, and so what if they know how to swim? One of them could fall in. Oh, man! I’m so WORRIED.

@sydsydrox

Believe it or not, the human race has flourished through millions of years of evolution before the first Fisher Price Anti-Microbial Hydraulically-Closing Childproof Safety Gate was installed on the planet.

Get over it.

If you see the kids’ parents beating them with a broomstick or happen to notice a windowless white van parked too close, by all means get involved. Otherwise, the kids have parents, and you aren’t them.

@CurLyFriiGal – So you’re saying that I’d let a child die because I have a different parenting style than @sydsydrox ? That is more than a bit harsh. Also I have kids and @sydsydrox doesn’t. So there’s a chance that I have more realistic expectations than either of you about what children are capable of and how much supervision they need.

@keobooks

yes, please tell me how you would supervise them without breathing down their necks. I need to know, that way none of them get hurt or anything.

Removed by me

That was a little too snarky, even by my own standards. ^_^

@sydsydrox It’s not your responsibility to supervise your neighbor kids. We’ve all given you some tips here. Read them.
These children have parents. When you have children, maybe you will have more empathy for all parents and the way they choose to raise their children.