I’m going to give you a slightly different perspective, coming from a female. One of my former friends and I used to be pretty close, and we shared quite a few friends in common and we had lots of common interests. But over the years, even though we mostly agreed on most things and all of us would laugh and joke together, I found out that she had kind of a mean sense of humor. So even though we might all be talking about the same subject, when she finally chimed in (trying to make a joke) it often came across as quite mean. It wasn’t even directed at me, but I found out that she had a bit of a racist streak and a bit of a homophobic streak. It was very subtle, but it started to creep in more and more. And then she started to complain and bitch about stuff more frequently, rather than to just talk.
You’ve admitted that you used to make fun of him, and then he got pissed and then you stopped. I’m getting the feeling that whatever you used to make fun of him about, really hurt his feelings, or embarrassed him or made him feel like shit, but because you guys are males, most males are not going to just come right out and say that to another male, because then he would look weak or like a wussie or even gay.
So I’m guessing that you insulted him time after time, until he finally got pissed off, but he really didn’t tell you specifically what you said (could have been one thing or multiple things) so you’re just guessing at this point. He’s not likely to tell you, because he’s probably hoping that you can figure it out yourself. Deep down, you probably know exactly what you said to him that made him so angry, but maybe because you didn’t mean to insult him, or whatever you said is “no big deal” to you, you aren’t fessing up to it.
You could ask one of the other friends to find out. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. Guys generally don’t work like this, but with females, one of the others could easily go to the hurt person and ask them what happened. You could try this method.
Unlike the others on this thread, I don’t think this guy is jealous of you at all. You said or did something (once or multiple times) that really made him angry or hurt his feelings, and what’s worse is that you probably didn’t even realize it.
Unfortunately, I think you frienship is shot. So your best bet would be to sit down with him, maybe with another friend as a witness and say something like, “Hey Mike, I get the feeling that I’ve said or done something to make you really angry. I know I tend to joke around a lot, but I really didn’t mean to offend you and I’m afraid I’m not sure exactly what I said. I wish you would just come right out and tell me so that I can apologize. But if you can’t, all I can do is wish you well and hope that you can stop telling me to shut up in front of everyone. Unfortunately we have a lot of friends in common, so you’re either going to have to tell me what I did, or you’re just going to have to know that I’m going to be around and deal with it. You don’t have to be around when all of us get together. No one’s forcing you. But I’m not dropping my friends because of you. Now just tell me what I did, so I can apologize!”
If you have the above conversation, with a witness, then this fellow will either have to tell you what you did, or decide that he’s not going to hang out with the group anymore.
Now for you, even though I don’t believe that you meant to insult this fellow, I believe that you did, big time. Try to think back about all of the things that you used to say when you were joking around with him. Did he seem to be especially sensitive about any particular topics? Is there a possibility that he’s gay or bisexual and maybe you made some veiled homophobic remarks? (Note: most young guys in our culture do, it’s an awful habit that needs to stop). Is there a possibility that a young lady that your friend liked, had a crush on you, and somehow you mentioned her name in an unflattering way? Is there a possibility that your friend is not gifted in some way (math, video games, getting girls, coming up with zingy one liners) if he’s not and you inadvertently pointed out that he’s an “idiot” or a “douche” or a “faggot” or something like that, those things could really be upsetting for him, especially if he’s struggling.
I don’t know what you might have said, but you probably know the kinds of things that you joked about with him, so try to remember, and have a lot of compassion, because sometimes even slightly insulting remarks can really sting, depending upon the perspective of the person being insulted. Sometimes, once the damage is done, it cannot be undone.