My father was a fan of Yogi Berra’s sense of humor. I inherited his sense of humor as well. Most folks seem to have forgotten these quips of his, and when I haul one out, people often think it’s a brand new joke!
“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” Source: Baseball Digest (June 1987)
“Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.”
“Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.”
“He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”
“How can a you hit and think at the same time?”
“I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”
“I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won twenty-five games. What I don’t understand is how he lost five.”
“I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”
“If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?”
“I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.”
“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
“In baseball, you don’t know nothing.”
“I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
“I never said most of the things I said.”
“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
“It gets late early out there.”
“I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”
“It’s like deja vu all over again.”
“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.” Source: Catcher in the Wry (Bob Uecker)
“Ninety percent of this game is half mental.” Source: Sports Illustrated (May 14, 1979)
“Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.”
“So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.”
“Take it with a grin of salt.”
“The game’s isn’t over until it’s over.”
“The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”
“You can observe a lot just by watching.”
“You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”
“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going because you might not get there.”
“We made too many wrong mistakes.”
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
