How much truth, do you believe the ”Black Girl Curse” purports?
It has been a subject floating around at least the last two years I know of. this book, presents ideas some believe, and many don’t. When speaking with other Black men it is seemed that many Black women, at least the ones they met, shoot them down because they don’t have professional jobs, their own home, drive a Benz, wear Armani, etc. Many Black women say many Black men are under performing thugs and the professional ones go outside the race to further their upward climb. One could think that many Black women are single because they are too finicky, but if you are a professional woman, you don’t want to be solely supporting a man or having one live off of you. Nightline had figures that say 70% of Black women are single compared to 40% of white women. That Asian are 47% more likely to couple up outside their race, and Hispanics do so 45% of the time, (though it wasn’t said how many Black men make up those percentages). Some Black men are underperforming, and other are plain thugs and assholes. They cannot make up the majority.
The book suggests that in order to find a mate Black woman should couple up outside the race. If she does, will that make her a ”sellout?” If she doesn’t do it, even to a detriment to herself, does that makes her more loyal? Many Black men couple outside the race. Other than Black women mostly, it is barely mentioned. Black women not crossing over is more choice or condition?
(Now I know there are many Flutheronials who are not Black as myself, but maybe you have gleaned snippets of info from Black friends and colleagues)
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”The book suggests that in order to find a mate Black woman should couple up outside the race. If she does, will that make her a ”sellout?” If she doesn’t do it, even to a detriment to herself, does that makes her more loyal? Many Black men couple outside the race. Other than Black women mostly, it is barely mentioned.”
People were talking about this stuff in high school. People can date whoever they want to date, and any person not crossing over is a condition. If you are attracted to someone, but don’t want to pursue it because if some social stigma….That’s conditioning.
@janbb I am Black, and there has been latent theories and ideals of that since I was young. As Blacks gained more access to the Ivory Towers, it seem to come up more. However in the Black communities I have lived in, the idea of its cause have been mixed. Many of the Black men seem to think the women are looking for a Mr. Huxtable type. It was believed you had to have a certain car, live in a certain place, etc or the woman will view you as a ne’er do well, and pass you over. The women had the thought, or theory that because the media played up non-Black women as being more attractive and less confrontational Black men gravitated to them. Toss the idea that if a Black man got with a blonde it was status and street cred, you have what The Man has, so you are de facto as good as him, eating from the same table. This sets up some tension as they (Black women) seen the men as sell outs, and rejecting their sisters.
Then you have a book telling them they should think of doing what Black men have done for a long time. I have not read the book, only reviews of the book and seen interviews from those who have read the book. The book, from what I know if it, seem to have some nuggets of truth, if not totally. Maybe Blacks in other areas had different experiences, or if you are not Black but you had close Black friends they expressed something or it was something you picked up on via them second hand.
I grew up with a tight group of girls, all but one of us non anglo, 4 of them black. Through junior high, high school and then college, the girls all made mention of not enough black guys in their social groups or dating pools. They weren’t nitpicking for black guy doctors or lawyers, not that type of thing but they didn’t see themselves with non college guys or the kind of guys who’s higher aspirations were along the lines of self delusional wannabe sports star or music genius. All but one of the girls mostly white guys though they all married black professional men.
I have a lot of friends of all different races and have dated outside and inside my race. It’s not about race, and should be. Point blank, I will not beat a dead beat anyone! If he is a redneck living in his momma’s double wide smoking weed by the swamp, I’m not touching you. If you are smoking a joint in your mother’s basement with your pants sagging to your knees running with a gang, I’m touching you.
I have run into both kinds of black males in particular. Ones who will only date black women (and they are professional, well educated black men) and those who don’t care who it is as long as there is a connection.
The only thing I can say is that MAYBE there is still the stigma of interracial relations being forbidden, providing some intrigue and excitement. The black man’s way of getting the upper hand on the white man by taking their women. But this is so anachronous it’s not even funny. Be with who you love and be happy!
I’ve never heard of this curse.
I could care less about race really. In fact the only folks I’ve ever experienced racism from have been black folks. I’m white (Irish) so most of the women I’ve dated have been white and even then, most Irish. Most of the women I meet are of the same race as me. Yet, I’ve dated black women before, my daughters half Korean, I’ve also dated an Indian woman and a Native American. I dunno, race to me….I could care less. I honestly see more of whats going on upstairs to be important to me than skin color.
I couldn’t tell you whether it’s true or not, but my guess is where there’s that much smoke, there’s fire.
If successful black men go outside their race for relationships, what’s to stop females who have their act together from doing the same. I’m married interracially to a Thai woman and faithful to her, but if I were looking for a mate, I’d be open to all races. I think lots of black women are incredibly beautiful. I love their skin color and kiss-me lips. I can’t be the only white guy who feels that way. It’s about time Americans got past this racial stereotyping and self-segregation and learned that we’re really all one race, the human race.
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