Fill in the blank: You know you have a dog when _________?

The screen door is ripped apart and eaten.

@talljasperman With the emphasis on the “eaten.” :-) I should have added something like that to my details. I use reading glasses and I have lost them and broken them a hundred different ways: stepped on them, sat on them, even run over them with my car, but I never had a problem with my reading glasses being eaten until I got a dog.

You know you have a dog when the kitchen trash is all over the kitchen, your best shoes look like a chew toy, and there is a nice smelly package of love on the floor by the front door.

when you can’t eat a biscuit without feeling guilty.

…when nobody can hide from you when he’s your “teammate” for playing hide-and-seek. ;-)

@Hypocrisy_Central Luckily, my dog doesn’t seem to be into the kitchen garbage, but I right there with you on the shoes. My good shoes are out of reach because I don’t wear them that much but she has eaten my crocs, all my sandals and flip flops, two other pairs… I am down to two pairs of sneakers, two pairs of boots and a pair and a half of my favorite gardening shoes.

@Jellie I know! I’ve lost over 10 pounds, which I could definitely stand to lose, since I got my puppy this past April, in part because feel too guilty eating cookies and snacks in front of her.

When I go back to finish my meal after getting up for some sort of interruption and it has mysteriously been replaced by a spotless dish. Or when I walk into the bedroom to find the contents of the bathroom trash can strewn across the floor. Or when I feel warm and realize there’s a little cutie squished up snuggling against me.

No way can I beat the deer hoof!

barf stains rule the rug.

…....you’re awakened by a long wet tongue licking your face. Either it’s a dawg or the wife’s feeling particularly horny.

he wakes you up to take him out in the middle of the night.

when she comes inside wet.

There’s a big hole in the middle of the leather couch, and that tell-tale stuffing is strewn hither and yon.

You include chewies and treats on the Christmas list.

when a soggy tennis ball is dropped into your lap whilst you are sat on the toilet!

@Leanne1986 High five. :)

@Adirondackwannabe Back atcha!

the crotch of all your underwear is chewed out.

When go looking for your most comfortable house slippers….ever… and you locate them chewed to shrewds and your dog has a smile on its face and a waggy tail.

@Judi I forgot about that disgusting habit. My Jack Russell used to steal undies from the dirty washing basket! Disgraceful animal!

When I can’t leave paper products out..like if I leave a squished up paper towel out..it’s down the hatch for my dog.
Toilet paper on the holder? If it is it will be unraveled fast, my dog was a cottonelle kitty in a former life.

..when you need a friend.

you constantly have pockets full of poop-bags

You walk barefoot in your kitchen into the water trail left by the gulper that dripped away.

…....your leg is the receiving end of hot dawg lovemaking.

You know you have a dog when your socks have holes. >.<;