Was I really being stupid?

I think he sounds like a dick.

“You will soon make me really mad if you don’t stop being a butt hurt.”

Dump him.

It sounds like you’re both children. How old are you?

Is this a question?

Your boyfriend is struck on himself and you should know this. Him calling you stupid, should have made smoke come out of your nose. Is he just using you?

It appears that way to me.

Have a serious talk with him and if you two cannot compromise on hurting each other, then maybe its time for you to leave???

DTMFA!

@zensky Yea, I was wondering if I was the one being stupid or not.

What @Imadethisupwithnoforethought said.

Wait, i’m really confused.

For what reason, exactly, did he call you stupid?

Do you think he would have reacted like that if his friend wasn’t there, @OliviaYR?

Can you please clarify what was stupid here

Also, is a “butt hurt” a pain in the ass?

Oh wait, I get it. You erased the words. I still don’t know how that would make someone stupid.

@thesparrow Me erasing what I had written down on my boyfriend’s bathroom mirror.
@bkcunningham I am sure he was aware his friend was right there with us because I mean after calling me stupid, he told his friend right away what I just did and how he thought was “stupid”. and I believe so, yes.

I hope you aren’t offended by me asking you this, @OliviaYR. I read another one of your posts where you said you are pregnant. Are you still pregnant? I know you were excited about the baby, so I pray nothing has happened.

Sounds like “Atlas” is suffering from a bout of ‘Roid Rage.
No matter what he thought, it was disrespectful to criticize you in front of his friend. That is an indicator of things to come. Do you want to live like that?

Start the process of ditching the loudmouth, bodybuilder and find a nice quiet guy who will appreciate you. You deserve better.

He sounds like a jerk off. If you guys are going to fight about dumb shit like that, I’d move on.

The only stupid thing would be if you didn’t dump him. NOW.

Yea, he could be the biggest jerk if he wanted to. It’s been bothering the heck outta me to be honest. I’ve been putting up with his cocky and arrogant side and was thinking it was about to move on.
Thank you guys. I thought he was being a jerk so it’s kinda nice hearing you guys say he was being one. Again, thank you.

Sounds like it to me too.

Omg.. that’s ridiculous. My boyfriend has never insulted me.. either with friends or alone together! Ok, maybe poked little jabs here and there, but never said anything like ‘you’re stupid.’

@OliviaYR Eww… is he like this on other occasions too ? He sounds like a cunt, pardon my language. Body builders are usually a**holes, too.

he’s mad at himself for stopping the gym, or whatever’s causing his tits to get smaller, and in his frustration, he took it out on you.

If you love him, tell him how much it hurt your feelings, and that if he’s so upset over it maybe he should go back to the gym.

If you don’t love him, tell him he shouldn’t be treating you badly b/c he’s letting go of himself, and to GTFO.

Only if he knew how to apologize for what he does… he thinks he’s always right and doesn’t seem to know how to admit and apologize at all.

Sounds like one to dump to me.

This fellow seems to have some serious things to overcome in order to be in a healthy relationship. I would tend to think the same is true for you.

With regard to this specific incident, it sounds as though his ego took a beating when he looked at his pecs. I would guess his comment about your thoughts not mattering were male posturing in front of his friend. What you think absolutely matters to him if it doesn’t you don’t belong together. Then when you erased what you wrote on the mirror it was just another whack to his self-esteem. I have no idea what a butt hurt is, but it sounds as though your feelings were hurt when he said your opinion doesn’t matter and you acted out by erasing your kind words on the mirror. Did you act stupid? Nah, you just acted hurt.

So now you can make the choice to discuss things and try to get to the bottom of what actually happened or you can both hold on to the hurt and blame and stay stuck where you are. Your choice.

You weren’t being stupid and they were attacking. For your bf to say what he did in the way he did and also in front of another person gives me pause to think he doesn’t respect you much. Reading your post made me kind of angry, it stinks of passive aggressive meanness.

He’s being a douche bag. Maybe his friend is giving him a butt hurt?
Fuck that, you deserve better.

In my book you weren’t. He seems like a persons who speaks without thinking before. And being this “open” doesn’t just go with anyone. I have friends to whom I can say anything and they understand what I mean[not from the tone] by the words I use. So if I tell them they are the biggest retards they smile but if I tell them they are jerks they know I insult them. [was just an example because I don’t use these words really often and when I use them have other meaning ^^].
If I were you I’d try to see other contexts where he uses “stupid”. Anyway you should tell him he insulted you with that comment.

He sounds like a childish tosser and you can do better. Someone who cares about you does not put you down in front of their friends. I didn’t see a response to the question about whether you are pregnant or not? Only you know if this is how he behaves on a regular basis but given you say he is never wrong, it sounds as though it is. Is this what you want for yourself in the long term? It won’t get better until he grows up and he may not do that.

This is one of many signals of what lies ahead for the relationship by the sound of things. Life is very very short. Don’t waste time with someone who doesn’t appreciate you fully.

He sounds like a tool… sorry :( You deserve better.

Dump him. This is not at all acceptable.

Were you honestly joking around? Or were you doing that weird smiling-and-being-coy-but-are-actually-being-passive-aggressive thing?

Either way, I say ditch him. You can’t really consider having a serious relationship with someone who says butt hurt with a straight face.

I too just read one of your other questions in which you said that you were pregnant. Is this boyfriend the baby’s father? Are you still pregnant or have you already had the baby?

This boyfriend sounds very mean, self centered and immature and you should make immediate plans to break up with him. But if there is a baby involved, then you have to make the decisions based upon the needs of the child. If your boyfriend is the baby’s father, then you need to file for child support (don’t let him shirk this responsibility). If he is not the father, then you need to file for support from the actual father.

If your boyfriend is the father, then you need to have a frank discussion with him before or after you leave him, as to whether he wants to be involved with this child or not. Even if he doesn’t, he is still legally responsible for child support. You should speak with a family law lawyer and get the facts about what you need to do, both to get child support and how to set up custody and visitation. And you need to find out if his parents want to be involved with the child or not.

You also need to find another place to live, immediately, whether it’s with friends or family.

If this guy has ever been abusive to you, then you need to file a report with the police and possibly take out a restraining order against him, and possibly ask the court to deny him custody and/or visitation.

Don’t be one of these women who becomes a victim of abuse, or tries to write off his behavior as “just a joke” or “just a one time thing” or “not that bad” or “boys will be boys.” This guy has some serious problems with maturity and he does not know how to treat people. This guy is not going to make a good boyfriend for you in the long run, and he won’t make a good husband or father either, without a lot of changes in his behavior and attitude and maturity level. It sounds like he needs some counseling, and I doubt if he would agree with that assessment. You could also use some counseling to find out why you have been willing to put up with his cr*ppy treament of you, up to this point. A few sessions with a good counselor could put you on the right road, so that you can deal with your situation in a way that is healthy and safe for both you and your child.

You should check this out How to Spot the Signs of an Abusive Personality

I agree @Kardamom. It is an entirely different situation if she is pregnant.

I am in fact pregnant but the father of the baby isn’t my current boyfriend, but is my ex. I came here to be with my boyfriend for 2 months all the way from Japan (where we met) because he said he would marry me and play the role as a father for my baby. He signed the Japanese marriage certificate when he was still in Japan to show me how serious he was about me (I didn’t turn the certificate in so we aren’t married) but one day out of blue, he changed his mind and now is breaking up with me when I go back to Japan this Thursday.
Well, I got off track a bit but yea I guess we are breaking up this Thursday so I shouldn’t worry/care about him being a jerk to me…

@OliviaYR Wow, you have had a lot of unpleasant excitement for such a short time. Are you a Japanese citizen or do you just live in Japan? Will you be able to file for child support from the baby’s real father? Do you have any family that will be able to take you in? I really do wish you the very best of luck for a happy and safe life for both you and your child.

This guy doesn’t seem like anything to regret losing but I hope you find some peace and stability when you go back to Japan.

Does he have a small penis, by the way?

@thesparrow No, he doesnt.

I am back in Japan now, fyi and it SUCKS. As much as my ex boyfriend was a jerk then, I’ve loved him a lot and miss him a ton…

Life is hard…

@OliviaYR Don’t let your loneliness overwhelm you. You didn’t really love your boyfriend, so much as you hoped that your relationship with him would be a good one. Recognize the ex boyfriend for the jerk that he is, not some idealized fantasty of “how it was” or “how you wanted it to be” because that will consume your mind and your heart.

Put all of your attention into making a good life for yourself and your child to be.

And I beg of you not to try to contact or re-connect with this fellow, no matter how much you might be tempted to do so. Ditch his contact information now.

Get your act together, whatever that might mean, from getting a place to live, getting a job, getting child support from the baby’s real father, getting some counseling, finding some new friends and acquaintances. But don’t go looking for a new boyfriend right now, or you’ll likely to find yourself in the same boat again, mostly because you’re still reeling from the pain, and you’re quite vulnerable right now. Wait a year or two, you need to concentrate on becoming a good mother, then get some practice at being a mother, getting your shit together and becoming whole again, before you decide to add a man into the mix.

Too many women have this problem in their head that they must be with a man or that they can’t be a whole person without a significant other. That’s a lot of hooey. Men can be great, good husbands are a fantastic addition to any woman’s life, but simply getting together with a man because you are lonely or you think it’s expected of you or because you’re horny is not a good enough reason to date anyone. Especially considering your circumstances. Be very wary of men that claim to want to marry you and become the father of your child. Most sane people, would/should really want to get to know you for a good long while before they made any kind of a life altering commitment like that.

Learn to spot the signs of a jerk from 20 paces, now, so you don’t find yourself getting involved with a person who was similar to the last 2 guys.

If it’s not too personal, how come you didn’t stay with the baby’s father?

@Kardamom Great advice. Thank you so much.

Take care of yourself, @OliviaYR. Love yourself more than anyone or anything and let your love be the standard you accept for yourself and your baby, and the standard you give to others.