Alcoholism in an individual affects us all, just as the pain of one person affects us all. We are so used to seeing pain, though, that we don’t recognize how it hurts us. We are so used to thinking in terms of zero-sum games, that we have no recognition that the pain of one person hurts us.
How does it hurt us? Because it burns up opportunity. It is an opportunity cost that we all pay. When people are not at their most productive, we all lose out on what they could have produced. Who knows what great works of art or industry we have lost because someone is drinking themselves to death? How many ideas have dissolved in the haze of an alcoholic stupor?
It doesn’t matter how good or bad those ideas may have been. What matters is the loss to the zeitgeist. It may be so small as to be unidentifiable, but small things build up. We will never know what we’ve lost, but we can be damn sure it’s something significant.
We all play a role in the wealth of our community. If one person backs off, we all lose. Not that any individual owes any of the rest of us a thing. But all things being equal, I think people would rather feel good about themselves instead of bad.
Anyway, we live in an interconnected weave of relationships, and what we do, for all we swear it has nothing to do with others, does, in fact, affect others. “No man is an island,” said John Donne. Women aren’t islands, either.
Vices, I think, take us away from others, and allow us to tell ourselves it doesn’t matter what we do; we’re only doing it to ourselves. Vices allow us to hide from our connectedness. They allow us to believe we are isolated and alone and don’t matter.
I would quarrel with your notion, @nikipedia, that vices are pleasures. Pleasure is play. It is having fun. Vices drown our sorrows. And not very well, at that. Vices are ways of trying to paint over the pain. They are ways of fooling ourselves that we don’t matter. Drinking and drugs and disconnected sex are ways of attempting to fix the pain, but they don’t work. However, if people understood they didn’t work, they might not try so hard to deal with their pain that way.
Vices try to provide pleasure without connection. Vices fool us into believing we can have fun without being tied in to the community and without being deeply connected to a person or to an environment. We need to belong. We need to feel known. Many, many people do not feel these things and don’t believe anyone could ever truly know or care about them, and so they take up a vice that manipulates the neuro-transmitters without actually putting it into a human context.
It’s a fake pleasure, and that’s why it lasts for shorter and shorter periods of time, and people have to “use” more and more substance to feel good. Real pleasure results from feeling connected with others. “Play” is the way we express our connection in a fun way. Arts are play. Conversation is play. Humor is play. There are so many ways to play.
But so often, fear and loneliness get in the way. People turn to substances to loosen themselves up, so they can let down the barriers. That can work. But when people must chronically use these substances to let someone in, they have lost the opportunity for a real connection. A real connection must consider the possibility of pain. If you’ve got all the pain muffled over, you can’t have an open connection, and you won’t have a very satisfying relationship.
Pleasure is my pleasure, not my vice. Vices, in moderation, can be part of a pleasure. Vices, in excess, make you lose connection. When you lose connection, you have no idea how you fit in the world. If you have no idea how you fit, why should you care about the impact of your actions? You might, but it would be very difficult to see how you affect others. If you can’t see it, you wouldn’t even be able to take it into account, even if you did care.