Would you be willing to give a cash gift to a charity in someone elses name instead of buying them a gift?

We used to “plant trees in Israel” in lieu of a gift. The person honoured would get a certificate from the JNF saying a tree (or trees) had been planted in your honour by…

Here

Yes, I have done on several occasions, when I knew the person well enough to know they would appreciate it.

I think it’s a great idea and have several family members that asked this be done in lieu of gifts the last number of years. However…it caused a big ruckus with other family members that refuse to give up the ghost on consumer Christmas gift giving.

If you think your family members are enlightened enough to go for it then yes, by all means, but, I guarantee a lot of them just want the goods. lol

Ironically my daughter was just telling me yesterday that her grandparents on her dads side were dickering to up the ante on a proposed limit on gift exchanges this year and were not taking kindly to those that were suggesting a more modest price range.

Narcissism doesn’t die an easy death! haha

It depends on if it’s a charity I know they support, and if they would want money to go there. And not just “well, who doesn’t support animals/the rainforest/ballet”, but that specific charity (especially since you never know when someone will have disagreements over how that charity runs their inner workings, or how they carry out their message, and would rather not support that charity). Otherwise, no, because I can give to the charity of my choosing any time, giving a gift should be about that specific person and what would bring them joy, not me. I know when people have done that as a gift for me, I’d rather they just have given money to the charity without dragging me into it; if they were worried about delivering on a gift, a big hug would have sufficed.

@Aethelflaed I really would rather people give to charity in my name than give me another gift I don’t need. It seems no matter how many times I tell people not to get me something they still do. And I know I have to get them something in return equally useless. It just all seems like a huge waste of money. Unfortunately Like @Coloma mentioned, some family members are dead set on exchanging gifts. I really would rather not. I have enough things clogging up my closets. Oh, wait! I just had a brilliant idea. I could always take their gifts and give it aways to the Salvation Army. Then I know it will go to someone who may need it.

Id honestly feel pretty jipped if you said you donated to some charity for me and that was my gift…

Perhaps you could look into getting them a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble (or a local used bookstore, if the bookstore has that thing), or if it’s a kid, perhaps make a small deposit into their college fund?

@Pandora I can certainly see why some people like it, it’s just more the presumption that it would always be ok. For most of the people who did it in my family, they never spent enough time around me to know what I liked and didn’t like, so this was a way out of choosing – which, I totally understand, it just always puzzled me why if that was an issue, they didn’t spend the time it takes to buy the thing in my name and instead spend it talking to me on the phone, giving me the gift of quality time. And, in one case, the family member donated to a more political charity that I happen to adamantly oppose, so I was actually quite horrified that someone out there was thinking that I supported the work they were doing. And part of the problem is that while the talk is often about moving away from the capitalist spin on Christmas, by donating money to a charity as a gift, it’s still all about money and capitalism. If saving money and reducing how much junk everyone has and moving away from a capitalist spin on Christmas is the point, there are tons of free gifts to give someone.

I guess I’ll pick this up later. Had no idea its so late. Thanks for your answers so far.

I quite like picking out gifts, especially for my young cousins. However, for those who we often just get “token” gifts for anyway like boxes of chocolates or shortbread say for great aunts and uncles and various in-laws then it’s a great idea. I have done it before a while ago but only for a couple of school friends who I know would appreciate it. They got a card saying “You have given one goat to the village of x” or “You have provided x water for the children of x village”. So now that you’ve reminded me I might do it again for those random family members too.

As long as you’re sure it’s a charity they would actually like to help out, I think it’s a really great gift.
I know that I would personally appreciate it as much as anything material directly given to me, but at the same time I am very skeptical of most charities, even ones that supposedly support things that I support.
My only concern from the perspective of a gift-giver, however, is that it’s a very amount-based gift. I’m not exactly sure how they work, but if it tells the amount you gave in their name, I would feel a bit like I left the price tag on their gift. Nothing wrong with it from the perspective of the receiver, but as someone who has very little money to spend on gifts, I’d feel awkward having the person in question being alerted that I donated like 15 dollars in their name.

I did this a number of years ago for all 20 of my immediate family – I bought each person a £5 contribution to the charity oxfam, which in that year provided a school dinner for a class of 30 kids for a week (I think…). I then made christmas cards, sourced 20 silver teaspoons (from another charity shop), and using wire attached the spoon to the inside of the card.

The idea was, that although I wasn’t giving them a physical gift, every time they made a cuppa and stirred their drink with that spoon, they could remember the good thing they had given to.

It went down very well, (and that year, when money was tight, allowed me to spend just c.£100 on gifts for 20 individuals, and yet everyone felt good out of it). I will say, though, that because there are so many of us, they all still got to unwrap a lot of actual presents too… it may have been different if mine was the only gift they were going to receive?

@harple, love the spoon idea. I have done the Oxfam thing a few times. Most members of my family really don’t need anything so the presents I would buy them were often just token gifts. So, I started buying Oxfam gifts. A goat for a village etc. Everyone said they were very happy with the idea. I do get what @Aethelflaed suggested though. It would be nice if you could actually choose a charity that individual person liked. There is an opportunity for organisation there. Providing charity gift cards that people can then donate to their own favourite charity.

I would love it if someone did this for me as a gift. I would want it to be a charity that I support, but my thoughts on this are pretty well known to anyone who would want to give me a gift. I have too much stuff as it is.—Although I could really use some socks…—-

Sure. I have given to charity in someone else’s name, but only after knowing what charity they prefer to support.

Not trying to dissuade you from giving to charity, I think it is always a wonderful idea, but if your friends and family don’t really need anything why not all agree to do away with the whole gift giving thing, and give to charities in your own name? Or, even give to an individual who needs it that year.

In my family we just gift the children in the family during the holidays. On my husband’s side we do exchange gifts, although now I just give the kids money because they are teenagers, and sometimes we give cash to the adult relatives if they are having a tough time, so they can spend it on what they really need, but most years we give gifts to the adults to in his family if we are there for Christmas.

If you get gifts you don’t need you can always return it and then give the money to charity.

If I knew that the person I was giving the gift to would appreciate that I would really like to do that. I have thought about it myself but I worry that people would feel hard done by when they “open” their present only to realise they haven’t got anything!!! I know this shouldn’t bother me and if they feel that way it says more about them than anything else but still. I would be really chuffed if some made a donation in my name especially for a charity I felt strongly for (Battersea Dogs Home being my favourite).

I have done this, and even if you don’t know specifically what the interests are, there are some charities that very very few people can argue with . And who the hell would argue, anyway??? If I haven’t been sure of what cause the person was interested in, a donation to the American Cancer Society or the Salvation Army is a good bet. I send the person a card telling them, and I include a recipe for something I make that they like, or I think they would like.

Oh, @JilltheTooth.. I like the recipe idea. I remember one time in a chinese gift giving someone gave a gift a cookie recipe. It also included a bag of flour and some chocolate chips and sugar. It was packaged really cute.

Yes and I have.

yes, I have on several occasions

Sure and a lot of people do it in lieu of party or holiday gifts. I personally would enjoy giving my friends a gift but if that’s what they request then so be it.

@JilltheTooth Some might see it as a little bit emotionally manipulative to give someone a gift they can’t argue with, no matter how they actually feel about it, since gifts are often a way of having social power over another person. If you don’t know them well enough to know what charities they like, then maybe they’re someone you don’t give a gift to. Cutting down on the insane gift-giving culture of Christmas isn’t just picking cheaper gifts, it’s also giving gifts only to those you really and truly care about.

No, @Aethelflaed , that’s not how it works, necessarily. Most people my age have way too much stuff and don’t want more. There are often circumstances where a gift is appropriate for people one isn’t very close to, someone who helped you out when you needed a hand, someone who did something nice for your child, a friend you haven’t had the “what’s your favorite charity” conversation with that you still want to give a gift to. Maybe you see such things as “emotionally manipulative”, but I’m delighted that they thought of me. In my world, gifts are gifts, not some social posturing event.

I thought I would comment that typically I gift to charity in someone else’s name when they die, not for a holiday gift. In lieu of flowers for the funeral or money to the family. I have done it only as a holiday gift when it is at the request of the person receiving the gift.

@JilltheTooth I didn’t say that it was always emotionally manipulative, but that it is better to give the charity gift to someone you know would actually appreciate it than use it for anyone whom you don’t know what they would like. I know people who would enjoy this as a gift, and I would gift it to them – but those people that I don’t know would appreciate it, I wouldn’t, because it’s not going to bring us closer together and could have some downsides. It can come across as imposing morality on someone else. If you really need to give them a gift, then why isn’t something more neutral like nuts or dried fruit more appropriate?

@Aethelflaed : Nuts or dried fruit is not more appropriate for me to give, maybe for you. I include (as I said in my first post) a recipe to make it more personal. I don’t like to actually give any kind of consumable unless I know it’s OK, and people I don’t know that well probably have also not told me if they are allergic to nuts or use a special kind of soap or something. The point is, it’s about the spirit of the gift. I give it with no message beyond “I am appreciating you”. I don’t know anyone who would not accept in the spirit I gave it. I don’t have an agenda with gift-giving, I assume that those who give me gifts also don’t.

Never.

I certainly would. I would also be willing to have the gift giver give to charity rather than buy me a gift.