How can I become Godly again?

Unitarian Universalism might work for you. Is there a church nearby?

Prayer, meditation, reflection. You will find God within.
A good church community will help you appreciate what you find inside and they will support your good work and intentions but ultimately you want to walk with the Indweller.

Just pray to God and ask him to be with you.

This is what I do, I start reading the bible and even ask the bible while its closed questions and then I open the pages and where it falls and where my eyes first go is for me always an answer to my question. You should try that. :)

For me, the biggest question in my mind is how important is Jesus for you in connecting to God? If it is a minor point, I think you could try Reformed Judaism. The majority or reformed Jews are liberal in their mindset, culturally tend to love the arts, and you can be as religious and close to God or not as you feel comfortable.

Another is Messianic Jewish, which I would argue is actually a Christian faith. I do think of them as being very religious, because I tend to think it is actually an evangelical movement, but I am not sure about that. Still, from what I understand many of the people in that movement have some Jewish heritage, but accept Jesus as their saviour.

Or, maybe you would like to study “Kabbalah.“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbalah But, that would not capture your need for the New Testament.

I think it is worth saying that Jews believe Jesus existed, and that he came close to rising to the level of messiah. He is important in Judaism also, he just is not believed to be the son of God. It’s not like you can’t believe and agree with some of the teachings of the new testament just because you identify Jewish. If you believe people must accept Jesus as their savior to go to heaven, then you are a Christian. If you believe all good people can go to heaven, then you might prefer Judaism.

A non-denominational church is another option. Or, the Unitarian church.

First thing is @whitetigress washroom etiquette 101. Nice girls don’t notice. :)

Try to recall what your life and inner world was like when you felt in touch with God and re-imagine what you felt like then: the state of your inner world. Since God has neve been out of touch with you and knows you better than you know yourself (let that be a best friend, comforting thought) simply begin the dialogue. God will meet you right where you are at.

God is in your soul, churches only scratch the surface.

Meditate, pray, read…...LOVE

What got me back to where I am now with God was finding a group of people (The International Church of Christ) who are genuinely interested in my walk with God, help me through bible studies, and have become some of my dearest friends. They don’t pretend to not be sinners, and if I have problems, or stumble, I have people I can count on to point me towards God again. You can’t do it on your own. Prayer and meditation only get you so far by yourself. PM me if you need a prayer buddy.

I would meditate. Learn to clear your mind. I suspect that you will start to feel the presence of something you would call God.

I would also find a community that is close and offers support and gives you a feeling of belonging. Maybe a Buddhist group would be better for you, but there are religious communities that are very supportive of gay and lesbian people, such as Episcopalians.

I think you feel a need to belong and a need for community and I would like to say it doesn’t have to be an overtly religious community. The Ethical Culture Society may meet your needs. As to what mythic imagery you choose to use, that’s up to you. I assume it will include a notion of God—whatever God makes you feel the way you want to feel. I suppose you will need the support of others in saying that this God is a true God, but I submit to you that the only image of God that matters is the one in your imagination.

Peace and love come from acceptance of self. You have to stop judging yourself and just let your thoughts and ideas be without feeling like you have to do anything about them. When you practice this, slowly things that have been bothering you, such as a feeling of worthlessness, will start to recede in terms of your awareness of them. Perhaps at some point they will recede so far that when you do think about them, they will seem like pale memories that it is hard to imagine existed. You will feel much more comfortable about yourself then, and the feelings of peace and love will buoy you up consistently.

What also helps is having someone, or many someones love you. If they love you unconditionally, it is even better. It is hard to achieve peace and love on your own. Most people need to be shown they are worthy of love before they can allow themselves to love themselves.

This is a many-pronged approach, and it takes time. You can get to where you want to go. I would also point out that you can reach the same place without God should you care to do so.

You may find some resources as well within the eastern philosophies if you are open to exploration. Taoism, and Buddhist philosophies resonate best with me.

It is less about seeking than it is about a return to self.

I’d venture to disagree with @wundayatta that it is in the reverse, the basking in the spaciousness of self love that allows the ability to love and be loved arise, although I whole heartedly agree that it is through self acceptance that we come to really know “love.”

In my experience the opposite has been true, I have found profound peace and happiness on my own and it is very liberating to be free of a need for attachment to bolster up a strong sense of self.

I also think there is far too much emphasis on needing others to love us.
Love is all around you and since love does not adhere to any particular rigid protocol the love one feels, be it from communing in nature, the love of a pet, the love of a child, is all, equally, the manifestation of non-divisive love.

Far too many people allow their happiness and peace to be contingent on sources of romantic love, which is but one manifestation of loves totality.

A wonderful little book I highly reccommend and have given as a gift on many occasions is ” The way to love” The last meditations of Anthony De Mello

@Coloma What you say is the traditional wisdom and I’m sure it must work for most people. In my case, I’d probably be dead if I had to wait until I could do it for myself. I needed support, and frankly, I believe everyone needs support. It should, ideally, start from your parents. They are the first ones who give you the sense you are lovable. If you can’t get it there, you need other people to show you. But if you have no sense at all that you are lovable or worthy, then I don’t care what happens, you are not going to be able to give yourself a sense that you are lovable, and you are not going to be able to become aware that God loves you (which I actually think are the same ideas).

For most people, if you have the right start in life, then you may well be able to get a sense of lovability from within. But for people like me, who never knew they were acceptable just because they existed and always thought if they didn’t do the right thing than no one would love them, there has to be another way.

I hope this is not an issue of right or wrong or disagreeing or agreeing. I hope it is an issue of different paths and whatever works. The standard psychological wisdom about self-esteem hasn’t worked for me. So I go another way. Turns out this is a different branch of wisdom and a different method. So I’m not alone in my way.

@wundayatta

There are many paths and no “one size fits all” agreed. :-)

If you’re “anti God” ignore this.
When I feel like that I make this my mantra
“Create in me a clean heart oh God. Renew a right Spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with your free spirit. ”
Feeling Godly doesn’t come from what you do, it comes from humbly knowing who you trust.
(In this Christian’s opinion.)

I’m a bit out of place commenting here because I’m not religious, so do excuse me if I say anything that ends up not being helpful

I like that you prefer to stay out of a church; I think a lot of them really just isolate those who are of the same religion, but have nontraditional views. Even the church I grew up attending, which I really liked, I felt awful going to.

I would suggest really making an effort to dedicate a certain amount of time on a daily basis to trying to connect, whatever that means to you – prayer, reading the Bible, etc. I think that the rule applies to everything – if you make doing a certain thing into a habit, you’re going to have an easier time getting into the swing of things and reconnecting. Even if you’re not particularly in the mood to spend time working on reconnecting one day, talk yourself into doing it anyway. When you put it off, you become even more distanced. If your fiance is also of the same mindset, maybe you can back each other up in this? Or any close friends who have similar views? It’s good to have support.