Can you help me help my nephew regarding college admissions and scholarships?

There are all types of scholarships available, if you qualify. Its better for him to apply at a an in-state college…..its cheaper if you are a citizen in that state. Do you or any other family members know anyone in politics? If so, give them a call and ask for their aid in applying for a scholarship. They can advise you on what is available in your state. Right now, there are many financial aids available to people who want to go to college. Most people use the Pell Grant.

For more information, go to a college scholarship website and see what is offered. You will learn a lot at that site for your benefit of yourself and your nephew.

While not ideal. One thing to think about is once you are 24 your parents are not in the equation when you file for Financial Aid. Between grants, loans, and work study I got a bachelors in econ from a big school with a whopping 10K in loans. And that included my living expenses.

First of all, does he want to go to a university? What is he interested in doing for a living? Going to a university is not always the best thing to do. You go to a university if you want to become a professional (architect, lawyer, doctor, engineer, veterinarian, scientist, accountant, e.g.) or become an academic or if you can afford to do it for fun. You go to a community college or trade school or skip school and do an apprenticeship if you want to do trade work.

If he wants to be an architect, he will need to find an architecture program at a university. This could be a 4 year undergrad program or a >4 year doctorate program depending on the school. If he wants to do construction management, there are many different approaches. I think you can just start working as a laborer and work your way up, for example working under his father and taking on increasing responsibility, go through a community college program, or go through a 4-year university degree program in a related field. Working in construction builds industry-specific knowledge you will not get in a classroom. While architects and construction managers work together in the same general field, they do very different things.

There are tons of scholarships floating around, both for university and community college students. It helps to know where you are going (many are field specific or school specific) and have a high GPA and relevant work or community service experience. Minority and first generation and low income are definitely helpful, but not necessary, to receive scholarship money. I have found scholarships on Fastweb (a lot of spam though), university bulletin boards, word of mouth, list-servs, attending field specific conferences, and web searches. I am constantly on the look out for opportunities.

Attending a university is increasingly cost prohibitive. There seem to be a lot more scholarships available to students currently in high school planning on going straight to university than “non traditional” students that have been out of high school for a while or those in CCs trying to transfer to uni’s. If my kid was in this latter situation, I would tell them to work different jobs and try to get a better sense of direction before going to a university, talk to people working these jobs and try to arrange job shadowing to get a good sense of what exactly it means to do X for a living, what day to day life is like, what it takes to make it in the field, etc. Reach out to people in these careers; most people like helping. Knowing what you want to study and why will help minimize cost of getting the degree. In my experience (IME), university education teaches you how to learn and inspires curiosity but it does not provide the practical real world experience you need to be prepared or qualified to actually do a job. Universities are run by academics that often have never held a job outside of academia so they IME tend to emphasize theory and are not well connected with real world industry. A university degree may make you qualified on paper and help you get your first job, but you need real world work experience to actually know how to do the job.

If you want to arrange a phone conversation for him with an architect, building industry engineer, or construction manager, I may be able to connect you with people – just PM me. I hope this helps.

I think it is great that you are looking out for him and trying to help him, but ultimately he really needs to take responsibility and initiative himself. This is an important thing to learn. He needs to personally want to do these things or he won’t succeed at them. Encouragement and support I think is helpful but pushing a person may confuse them and head them in a direction they don’t really want to be.

@prioritymail Just so you know I have a college degree, my husband has a masters, my mother a degree, my father has a PhD, even my maternal grandmother has a masters, and my grandfather on that side almost completed his. I only bring it up because you seem to be talking to me like I don’t know what an education can give. I don’t mean you were condescending in any way, just that I have the idea you assume we don’t have college segrees because I said my nephew would be first in his family, I meant nuclear family. We are not the side without the college education. My husband, who is actually the uncle by blood, I am an aunt by marriage, is the only one with a college degree among his siblings, the nephew in question, his mom (my husband’s sister) and his father don’t have degrees.

The kid does not know what he wants, it’s a long story, but he is doing well with hia grades in college, and I see every reason for him to get his degree. I don’t think he needs to know what he wants to do, I think college can help him discover that, and by him time, have some fun, while he explores various electives, and gets his basic classes under his belt.

I personally don’t want him to miss out on the full college experience. Living on campus, large variety of majors available, even football, all of it. But, it may not work out that he goes to a large university, we’ll see.

I think the mistake was his mom did not make sure, or get the college applicationsngoing back when he was a senior. I tried to put in my two cents when she asked, but no one was listening much, and she kept waiting for her son to take the initiative. I personally feel that was a big mistake, I regret not being nosey and pushy and doing it for the kid. I disagree that a teenager always can take the initative. They are still very young, and many are frightened, scared of the unknown, and college is unknown, especially for children who have parents who can provide little guidance on the topic. His mother has always said the right things, encouraged him to focus on education and had expectations of college for him, but she also did not know how to make it happen. Hell, I was raised by a very educated family and it took my dad dragging me to universities to get me to apply to one after having been in community college for a year and a half. I know the type of confusion my nephew is going through, if I can do some things for him I want to at this point. I talked to him last I saw him, and he seemed very receptive.

@all I have looked at some of the scholarship sites and I find them confusing. I was hoping a jelly might have recently been through it, and knows the deal. Can help navigate me, instead of me starting from scratch.

Do we get the scholarship first, and then apply to schools? Do it all at once? Do the schools have their own scholarships? My parents paid for my schooling, I am totally lost in this world of loans and scholarships. I really don’t want him to get a loan, I am not sure hoe his mom feels about it. I know she has some money put aside.

Try some of this information:

http://www.floridastudentfinancialaid.org/ssfad/home/uamain.htm

https://www.floridastudentfinancialaidsg.org/home/1stGen_faq.asp

http://www.floridastudentfinancialaid.org/ssfad/bf/

http://www.scholarships.com/financial-aid/college-scholarships/scholarships-by-type/minority-scholarships/hispanic-scholarships/

http://www.admissions.ufl.edu/scholarships.html

http://usfweb2.usf.edu/finaid/

Try this too, @JLeslie: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/getting-scholarships-and-grants.html

@JLeslie Sorry for the miscommunication. I definitely did not mean to imply that you or your family have not been to college. I got what you meant when you said he was the first one of his family that may attend. I guess from what you wrote I just felt the need to point out the reasons why attending a university would benefit a person and why they would not. I did not mean to imply you don’t know this, I just wanted to be clear. There is this assumption a lot of people make that going to a university after high school is what you’re supposed to do, but I personally strongly believe this is not the right path for everyone. And when you’re entering college in your mid to late 20s, it is not the same experience as when you are entering straight from high school (speaking from experience, having done both) – it is a totally different dynamic.

That you think his mom made a mistake by not getting college applications for him raises a red flag in my mind. When I was in high school, no one got college applications for me or encouraged me to apply anywhere. I did it myself and got a full scholarship to go. Maybe some people’s lives can change course for the better when they have some guidance but that is all in the past now. He has been out of high school for a while, he is an adult and it is his responsibility to live his life and make these choices for himself. If he wants to go to a university he needs to take initiative and put in the work to get there. It is no one’s fault but his own if he doesn’t get there. He needs to take responsibility for that. Hand-holding doesn’t help people grow up. I’m not saying you shouldn’t encourage him or direct him to useful information, just that you can lead a horse to water…

As for scholarships, there are some that are offered to current community college students which he would apply for now. Others may be for current CC students intending to enroll at a university. You can generally apply for these before applying to uni but if you aren’t enrolled in uni by the time you say you’ll be you won’t get the money; it is always acceptable to apply to uni first then apply to scholarship. There will be others only for full time university students. In this case, you will need to be accepted to the university before you apply. In some cases you will also need to have a GPA on record in order to apply or be in a certain year of school. Universities often have their own scholarships, and what’s more, Colleges or Schools within universities often have scholarships specific to them. Like I said before, knowing what you want to study and where you want to go will help you find scholarships. Especially look for scholarships geared towards minorities, first-time college students, and non-traditional students. Check out fastweb.com. Every scholarship will have their own requirements clearly spelled out alongside a deadline to apply. Simply look for those for which your nephew meets the all the requirements. Often if you are lacking in even one of the requirements, you will not even be considered so it is not worth the time to apply in this case. If you are unsure about anything, contact the organization or individual that is administering the scholarship directly and they will be happy to help clarify. If you find scholarships with requirements he does not currently meet but anticipate he will in the future, you can always save them for later. Besides internet searches, universities, colleges/schools within universities, bulletin boards on campuses, field specific organizations affiliated with schools are all places that may have information on scholarships available. A lot of scholarship applications ask what your career goals are.

@prioritymail We disagree. I don’t see it as handholding, I see it as pushing him to get onto the right path. Again, I was like him, kind of stuck and afraid and reluctant. I am so happy I have my degree and went to a huge big ten school. It was some of the best years of my life. He did go a couple hours away to a community college near the university he thought he wanted to attend, and had a very bad experience, his plan got kind of messed up, and now he is gun shy. But, he wants to more forward.

I know many people who help their children get the applications and do the research, I see nothing wrong with it. I have a friend who practically did everything for her son. He has a BS in Engineering and an MBA. It’s just he was only 17 when he needed to get all of it together, and that is still very young to know what to do. A little hand holding seems fine to me. My nephew is only 19.

I also agree college is not for everyone, and am very pro vocational education, people finding what they love, and I hate the feeling in the US promoted by the media and others that if someone doesn’t have a college degree they don’t measure up. I think that message is just awful. But, this kid shows every indication he should get a degree.

Thanks for the link.

What country are you in?

@bkcunningham Thanks.

I’m in the U.S. I graduated when I was 16 and I was in college at 17, but I am still not sure what I really want to do for living many years later. Perhaps we are both right. People are different. I have friends around 30 who have parents that did everything for them and can’t do anything by themselves, friends with helpful parents that found their way a lot of faster than I did, and friends that were more on their own than I was that both made it and are still struggling. Maybe if I had someone like you in my life it would have been easier; I don’t know. I hope he finds his way. I am sure he will. I think as long as you keep moving towards what interests you eventually you will find what you are passionate about. You have to not be afraid to try different things and stay true to yourself. It is pretty scary sometimes but having a support network really helps!

@prioritymail We agree. :)