What do you think causes preferences in a partner?

A ton of biology with some culture mixed in.

Nature and Nurture. Good and Bad experiences, interests and intrigue.
As many things as what make each of us up.

As already stated above. But some fetishes, like foot fetishes may come from some sensory feelings crossing over the part of the brain that detects sexual pleasure.
Funny how some of those things happen (crossed wiring) and yet you never hear of someone who may break out into the giggles when thier private areas are touched and stop because they are ticklish there. (Then again it could be possible it happens but they become monks.)

I once took a class called Sociology of Family and my professor said that something that heavily influences our desired sexual partners is the instinct to make “perfect children” so we instinctually seek out partners who are our physical opposites. This makes a certain amount of sense to me. For example, my ex is a big guy 6’1 over 200 pounds and he is incredibly attracted to smaller girls, even down to small details like a girl with smaller hands and facial features.

I think a certain amount of it is societal as well. I think this explains very short guys who will only date short girls and really tall girls who will only date even taller guys.

I think it’s mostly cultural. We’ve seen what we consider attractive in women and in clothing to change over time. We see the focus on erogenous zones change over time. At one time breasts are in, then stomachs, then legs.

Withe women’s bodies, at various times plump has been in, and now boyish figures are in high fashion. Large breasts are in for other portions of society.

And clothing! Wow! That changes every year. More. People just want to stand out, and so a few leaders do something, and then others follow, trying to be cool, and then it has to start all over again. That can’t possibly be genetic because clothes are a purely human made thing. They don’t occur naturally.

So I think that the urge to stand out may be biologically driven, but that the expression of that urge is purely social and cultural.

I hated women with red hair, until I met my wife. How do I explain this? I have no way. It was cupids arrow that hit me and now red hair is beautiful.

Some are innate. Some are developed.

Lots of factors as already mentioned. I like the old sayings used by houndsmen and horsemen, ” No good hound/horse is ever a bad color.” lol

Flashy and stable is the obvious ultimate combo, but, I’ll take sane, kind and smart over flash any day of the week be it a man, a dog or a horse.

I think it is mostly learned. A little bit of the oedipal/electra thing going on. Also, I think the first serious, longish, relationship someone has can have a big influence for who you date in the future.

@KatawaGrey Yet many couples look like siblings. My husband’s family is a very good example of your theory though. His parents have completely different facial features, I mean completely. His dad has a strong, I would go as far to say large chin and nose, very angular face; his mom small features, button nose. My husband and his siblings all seek out fair to medium brown haired people to date or marry, and they all have dark skin and black hair. His sister who is 5’2” always looks for very tall men, over 6 feet.

@JLeslie: I know of many couples who look like siblings as well. Generally, they are people of average build with average features, so there is no general, physical opposite. At least, this is what I have seen. Remember, there are also social factors to take into consideration. For example, I think there would be many more inter-racial couples if it was more acceptable and/or if there was more cultural mixing.

Cue barrage of comments accusing me of being racist.

@KatawaGrey I think many people begin to look more and more like each other also, if they were similar already. Taking on facial expressions, that can actually help shape the face, working small face muscles. Also, of course, in some communities the entire community looks similar.

I wasn’t actually thinking about race, meaning when I answered I was not considering mixed race couples. Although, I have argued that my husband could be considered a different race than me I think. Race discussions are always messy as you know.

@JLeslie: You are correct. I could say that I like boys with brown hair, and that is considered perfectly reasonable, but if I say I like boys with darker skin, I am a racist. I don’t get it. However, considering the lightness of my skin and all the problems I and others in my family have from it, I think it would be most advantageous for my children if I was to settle down with a man with much darker skin. Perhaps because of this knowledge I am generally more attracted to darker men. Yes, I’ve only dated white boys, but they have all been Italian and did not experience the kind of sunburn I have been plagued with my whole life. I have also noticed that folks from warmer climates have many fewer acne issues Another trend I noticed among my Italian boyfriends. I had bad acne as a kid and that’s something I seriously do not want to pass on to my children.

Actually, I think I’ll ask a question about this very subject.

@KatawaGrey I don’t know about Italian specifically, but darker skin people do get acne. In fact they tend to be oilier, and so more prone I would think. My husband has many more problems with acne than I do, mostly on his back. I knew an Argentinian girl who had very bad back acne also, not sure her national background. I’m assuming your Italian dates were southern Italian, so they likely had darker skin similar to my husband. I too wish my children to be able to be in the sun without instant burn, and have thick wavy hair like my husband. But, I don’t think that is why I picked him in a crowd. My first long term boyfriend was darker and Hispanic, and I think it had a lot of influence on me. My husband’s family is actually quite different than that boyfriend, and my husband very different than my first boyfriend, the only similarity is they both speak Spanish and they are both men, and the dark skinand hair, but even there my husband is not as dark as my first boyfriend and they look very different, as my ex was mostly Native American descent most likely, native to Latin America, and my husband is Mid East, Spain, and France descent.

In fact, for me the hair color is the biggy, not the skin color. Dark hair, I love dark hair. I’m not sire if saying the hair color we prefer is reasonable to most. I think any type of discrimination people seem to dismiss or think unwarranted and unjustified.

@JLeslie: Huh, how odd. Maybe I just haven’t noticed it or my darker friends are just way better at keeping acne under control than I am being totally serious here, except for one friend with a serious allergy related skin condition, all of my darker skin friends have way better skin than I do. The sunburn thing still stands, though. I get horrible sunburn and both my grandparents and one of my aunts had melanomas removed because of sun exposure.

What gets me is that I’m not even talking about dismissal, per se. For example, I have a lot of female friends who will only date a guy if he is a certain height. This isn’t their preference, it’s their rule and it’s ridiculous. For me, it’s very different. I generally am very attracted to darker boys, but I am also very attracted to white boys, just not their skin tone. It’s impossible to explain properly.

It can be a combination of the reasons you’ve mentioned. As I’ve gotten a bit older I’ve realized that I find myself attracted to certain types of women that I normally would not have found attractive when I was a teen and in my 20’s. I can’t explain this and I don’t know why. Every person is different too so these reaons may vary greatly as well from person to person.

A bunch of culture with some biology mixed in.

@KatawaGrey I wonder what the real stats are for acne regarding skin color? My sister had it pretty bad, I barely had a zit. But, I do burn like crazy, am more wrinkled than my darker friends for sure. My husband’s family gets kissed by the sun, his tan is beautiful, they all look ten years younger than they are. If we are facebook friends you should see his sister in my photos, she is Eva Langoria ten years older, but she is actually more than ten years olded. Fewer wrinkles I think because their skin is dark and more oils, I am soooo dry. Although, the negative about darker skin is when people get darker marks, like pregnancy marks from hormones, they hold on on dark skin, while whiter people can fade them faster and easier.

My husband is actually a lot like my parents in many ways, in his actions and what he says, the good parts of my parents without a lot of the negatives. He is most like my mother, I always say I married my mother. I actually think this is more of an influence, people’s personality, on who we stay with long term, more than the looks. A lot of things in my home, feel like my home when I was little, but better in many ways.

That’s a good question. My wife doesn’t have any of the attributes which I thought I found attractive, which isn’t to say she is not attractive.

Body odor. Seriously. We process it unconsciously.

its all about the pheromones