Why is it considered racist to express a physical attraction to people with a certain skin tone but perfectly acceptable to be attracted to someone based on other physical attributes?
I responded to this question a few times and had an interesting exchange with another user about race and how race discussions are always messy. This is true, but what I want to know is why are discussions of skin tone messy in regards to physical appearance?
It’s perfectly reasonable for someone to pick a prospective partner with things like hair color, height, weight, body type and even eye color in mind, but as soon as someone mentions skin color, they are racist. Why is that? Why is skin tone not an acceptable physical criterion for choosing a potential mate?
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I understand what your saying.
Maybe because a certain skin tone is often associated with certain parts of the world, and a certain race of people, whereas the other physical attributes are not?
I mean, you can get green and brown eyes in white people and brown people. You can get Europeans and Asians who have blonde or auburn hair.
Personally, if a guy said to me that he preferred dark skinned girls over light, I wouldn’t see him as racist.
If you’re looking for a logical answer, you ain’t gonna get one.
This is because you can’t make sense out of nonsense. It’s simply someone’s (narrow-minded) opinion.
No more…no less.
De gustibus non disputatum est.
As to the words we use to describe what we like—prepare for WWIII!
I’m guessing it is probably just touchy, because interracial relationships can be a rocky subject. There are a lot of people who still don’t agree with that concept, silly as that may be, and this could easily be taken as an argument against it.
But, I think actually ruling out skin tone as a basis for attraction is a bit much, as you said. Though, now that you bring it up, I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that I have never been attracted to a black woman that I can remember. I have been attracted to plenty of black men, and I have seen countless black women that are drop dead gorgeous.. but I always find that it is more of a “man, I wish I could be that beautiful” admiration of their beauty, than “I’d really like to get her naked.”
That’s the best example I could come up with, personally, of how it can simply be a preference. I’m certainly not racist, but your question made me realize that I would normally be afraid to admit that I feel that way. I’m actually not even sure I want to post this answer.
Yeah I don’t get it, i’m not in the least bit prejudiced, I just don’t happen to find blue women all that attractive!
Personal taste is, by nature, discriminatory.
That’s hardly a news flash. I guess some people just don’t have enough to get worked up over without seizing the obvious and making something out of nothing.
In the police world, when asking for a record check on individuals, we address the suspects as a male white and a male black.
This is standard police protocol and not a racist procedure.
I have dated all races.
I don’t see it as racist, but I suspect that people who do feel that excluding a entire group of people just because of skin tone is prejudiced.
But we are prejudiced with regard to our mates usually. For example, we may exclude people with certain hair colors or eye colors or shape of features.
I don’t really know. Maybe there’s still a significant amount of racial tension in America, to the point where everyone is sensitive about it. Maybe there’s not enough people that are informed about the differences and misinformation regarding race, culture, and ethnicity, so they get them mixed up and make mistakes and misconceptions that make them sound dumb. Maybe some do know the differences, but when they make an educated hypothesis, they’re called racists by the uninformed ones etc.
There is a difference between judging someone based on their skin color, and being attracted to same.
Because race as categorization has had a different history from other physical attributes as categorization especially since physical attributes of other sort have never been used (in the same manner) to group people into groups that then were assigned values. I think for some people a preference for a race might have to do with some undealt with racism but not for others. It can also have to do with sexism like when white men fetishize asian women and think they’re the ‘really feminine’ ones, the ‘way women should be.’
@Simone_De_Beauvoir: I never mentioned race in my question. I specifically said skin tone for that reason. When I say I think a boy is hot and part of that is his skin tone, I’m not referring to race. I’m referring to skin tone. I think that right there is why people think it’s racist. They automatically link skin tone with race and thus assume that I am saying that boys from that particular race are hot, when I really I just mean that this boy standing in front of me has attractive skin because it’s several shades darker than my own.
@KatawaGrey Well that may be true but since race is based on skin tone and for reasons mentioned above it’s a tense topic, people simply don’t believe you don’t mean race. It’s about how they define race. Until we do away with race as a necessary organizing principle, we won’t see your preference for what it is.
It’s not racist. And if it is, I don’t care. I like what I like. And I’m married to a white woman. Go figure.
I’ve wondered the same thing, except I’m racist AND shallow for my preferences. I’m not generally attracted to anyone outside of the “olive” skin tone, and I’m not generally attracted to the obese either. I’m a horrible person.
Frankly, I think it’s ridiculous for anyone to call you racist for only being attracted to a certain “type”. Some people just have a strong, instinctual preference that can’t be explained.
I don’t feel it is racist at all what you are saying. Your preferences in physical attraction hopefully have nothing to do with how you treat people or feel any supremacy over.
Well, being 10ft tall and blue gives her a distinct advantage…
@blueiiznh: I have a few white female friends who are similarly attracted to men with darker skin. We speak in hushed tones about this attraction for fear of being called out. I by no means would choose a man with dark skin over a man with light skin, but for me, it’s like height or hair color or body type. A man with a nicer skin tone in my estimation will get more of my initial attention than a man with a less nice skin tone, just like a shorter one would over a tall one or a toned one would over a flabby one or an overly-muscular one.
@KatawaGrey Called out for expressing attraction to darker people?
@Blackberry: Yeap. Like I said, I’m called out as a racist if I say I’m attracted to darker boys.
@KatawaGrey Oh, you mean for the choice of language lol.
@Blackberry: Nope. I mean for personal preference. It doesn’t matter how I put it. Noticing skin color means I’m a racist.
@KatawaGrey Oh, haha. Ouch. Yeah, that’s the uninformed people I referred to. So you say something like “I like so-and-so’s glistening bronze skin…”, and it’s “That’s racist!”? Lol.
I think it is racist when someone excludes a race because of prejudice that speaks to an assumption of how and what they are inside. Plus, excluding is different than having a “type” you are attracted to. I have a type, but I also would never say never about anyone who is outside of that physical type. Looks matter less as you get to know someone.
@KatawaGrey I still don’t think it’s racist. It’s what you are attracted to.
Because race- baiters think that skin tone is really important. Important enough to raise a stink over.
Many people who accuse people of racism are racists themselves so best to ignore their pronouncements. Preferences run the gamut, attraction rationale is based on genes and environment and a bit of illogic thrown. To each his/her own is the rule.
@KatawaGrey I don’t think we’re completely comfortable with race issues yet as a society and skin color is a major component of race. So when you say you prefer dark skin tones, some people jump to the race card in a hurry. They probably have their own race issues. I know the older generations in my family are major racists. That’s just the way it is and I deal with it. They see the skin tone/color and make a snap decision without getting to know the person. Their loss. Do I notice skin tone? Yes, I just file it away with hair color, eye color, and breast size(just making sure you’re reading closely).:)
Ah. Well that leaves me out. Sad panda. :(
I said I like small, it’s not a deal breaker.
@KatawaGrey To unhijack your thread, I was trying to think of other traits, other than skin tone, which aren’t connected to race. Thoughts?
I don’t think it is racist to say you are attracted to a certain skin tone over another. I am, generally, more physically attracted to darker skinned people than fair skinned people. This doesn’t mean that I am not attracted to fair skinned people in other ways and if people cry racism for that then they are just looking for something to be offended by in my opinion.
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