Bizarrely, do you find that sympathy wanes the more people know from their own experience how you are feeling?

First, I’m sorry that you are feeling so bad. I had pneumonia last month and I can genuinely empathize.

I don’t think it applies to other things.

If stuff is going around, people feel they got through it so you will too.

I’ve noticed it too. I’ve usually chalked it up to it being easier to be sympathetic when you’re removed from it and can think of how much it would suck if it was you. Also, if you’re engaged in it a lot of times you’re too consumed with your own problems to be overly concerned about others, or just view their complaining as whining as people tend to think their own suffering is/was generally worse (that second statement also applies to people who just got over our out of the situation).

I’ve seen it in failing businesses and “anonymous” communities where people aren’t really attached beyond basic recognition and greeting.

Hope it clears up quickly for you from here out!

I know what you’re on about pet, we’ve had both kids off school this week & apparently the schools have been well depleted these past couple of weeks. Nothing too serious, just a particularly nasty stomach bug. I’m lucky in that regard, i’m never ill, which is nice.

Aw, hope you feel better soon.

People probably do this because if they haven’t experienced something themselves they take your account of it at face value. If you say it sucks, they assume it does indeed suck and they feel sorry for you. But if they’ve been through the same thing they’ll tend to assume your experience was like theirs, and they think “well I handled that just fine, stop being a wimp!”

It is on odd phenomenon. I think it shows that we’re stronger than we imagine we are and reality often is not as bad as our imagination. I think the closest parallel I can draw is to hearing about being an adult when you’re young and you’re afraid, but then coming to find later in life that you rise to the challenges much more successfully than you thought you would.

Colds and flu can vary a lot in severity and someone who has had a light cold might not realise how miserable you feel. Once it gets into your chest it is quite nasty and I hope the antibiotics clear it up soon. Warm drinks, maybe some soup and a lot of sleep are required.

Very much so, and that is why I often come across as unsympathetic in many situations. Sure, driving in snow isn’t much fun, but I’ve driven in white-outs on bald tires. Sure, long workdays suck, but I have gone 70 hours straight before.

On the other hand, there are rare occasions where personal experience makes me more sympathetic; being unemployed for over a year, having a car break on you, etcetera.

Thanks all! It’s funny how it’s something I hadn’t noticed until I was in the situation – makes me thoughtful about when I’ve not been as sympathetic as I could have been myself…

I dunno, not feeling so good myself….:-)

I think maybe it applies the most if people are going through something similar at the same time or have recently gone through it. If they are more distant from the occurrence, can probably be more empathetic.

In any case, hope you recover soon.

Hope you’re much better soon, Harple! Your question, as always, has caused me to think. I truly hope I move from a state of sympathy to empathy when faced with the situations you mention, and that I always respond kindly to the person rather than dismissing him/her.