[OBSCENE, NSFW] Is breadmaking linked to [A] and [B]?
Edit note: [A] is “sex” and [B] is “reproduction”. These words are not permitted in question topics, as they are obscene.
So, I was making some savoury whole wheat bread with onions and sundried tomatoes, lightly brushed with olive oil and coarsely ground sea salt this evening (it’s baking right now), and I was shaking my head in dismay at the thought of all those people with breadmaking machines who lose out on the visceral pleasure of kneeding the dough. Kneeding is my favourite part of the whole breadmaking process. And this got me thinking about why I enjoy kneeding so much.
There are several clues that bread and sex are interlinked in the human psyche. For millenia there has been mysticism surrounding the making of bread, “the staff of life” being a traditional synonym for bread and reflecting not only an obvious phallic symbolism, but a feminine, reproductive reference to the gestation of life as well. Originally, no one knew what made bread rise—or fail to rise—but it’s clear they saw a link between a woman’s expanding belly fruitful with offspring and the rising of the dough to give us our daily bread. The specific action of kneeding may be linked to this.
We have all probably experienced an affectionate and indolent cat pleasurably kneeding our laps as we stroke its ears. This instinct to kneed is instictive in kittens, as it encourages the mother cat to produce milk while the kitten is suckling. It occurs to me to wonder whether humans may have this same kneeding instinct, and whether the kneeding of bread—with its sexual and maternal subtext—may be triggering my brain’s reward centre to produce a gush of dopamine.
What do you folks think? Are breadmaking and babymaking linked? Is making bread essentially an onanistic activity?
Possibly connected video:
http://www.noob.us/humor/conan-obrien-and-the-bread-professor/
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11 Answers
Not sure. I’ve never made bread. Now I want to, though.
Well when the dough begins to rise, get the hell out of Dodge. :)
I have made lots of bread, and without being too religious myself, I tend to view the bread making process as more of a miracle (than sexual) in nature. Something about the rising of the yeast…
What a wonderful question! I would kill for a slice of that bread.
I hadn’t really thought about it before, but now I’m getting the sensual connection and the life force rush you mention. So… if you have to make an unleavened bread for a ritual or Sabbath, is that also an admonition against sexuality during that time?
What’s on my to-do list? Make bread.
I think it does. There are also so many double entenderes related to it as well.
Baker here, I make loads of bread. It should follow that I get laid frequently.
All my progeny are brainchilden.
How the hell can “reproduction” be a forbidden word for titles? I was thinking of having a reproduction made of a painting. Do you think I can ask a question about it? Do I have to substitute “copy” for “reproduction?” How about this: “Is breadmaking related to human copying behavior?” Aaaaaaggghhh.
To answer your question, I do not think that breadmaking is related to sex any more than a banana or a fig are. No more than the Washington Monument or the Capital Dome are. Which is to say that anything that reminds anyone of a phallus or a breast or a vigina or of feeling breasts or wanking something is, in the mind of some human, sexual.
Sex is in the mind of the beholder. The brain is the greatest sex organ. If kneading bread puts you in the mind of the feel of your girl’s breasts, then that’s exactly what it is. Breadmaking is absolutely linked to sex—in your mind. Probably in a lot of other people’s minds, as well. But breadmaking is not alone in this. I have seen many other activities and actions and images and sculptures that are also related to sex in a similar way. Really, it’s not that big a deal.
Also, baking bread is the next best smelling thing to the natural scent of woman. And they are both incredibly delightful to eat when they’re really hot.
Well bread making is historically tied to the rise of alcohol (beer, specifically), and beer gets you laid, so I’d say yes.
Absolutely. Someone asked the question, what is foreplay? It is a perfect mixture of flour, yeast, water and salt. There is heat in the reaction of the yeast in the touching and pushing and rolling motions of your hands and arms. The perfect motion involves you shifting your weight into your chest and shoulders to massage the warm soft shape of the loaf with just the right touch of your fingers and the mound in the palm of your hand. The bitter taste of the salt is the perfect addition to the warm mixture.
Even the overtones of planting seeds to produce the wheat. Before it is harvested, the grain must be fully ripen. You tie and bind the stalks together and wrap them, keeping the heads high, into a shock. Thrash and winnow. Thrash and winnow. Separate the wheat from the chaff with a gentle breeze.
It all sounds like sex and the circle of life to me.
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