Would it mean much for your relationship if your partner had the exact opposite view on Occupy Wall Street than you?

Nope. It would make for some interesting conversation. I would suspect the relationship has more footholds in it and having a different view on some that are not the basis of each of your value systems is ok.

@blueiiznh I suppose something like supporting or disliking OWS has a lot to do with what our value system is all about, for each of us. In my opinion, anyway.

Yes, it would definitely make a big difference to me if my S/O felt the opposite from what I feel about the OWS (I support them), & to me it would indicate a totally different view of the world (a different value system) for someone that did not support them. My late husband would definitely have not been an OWS supporter, but as he is no longer among us, it is not something I have to worry about.

Not really. We’d just disagree, but no big argument, heated exchanges or such. It’s rare my s/o and I don’t see eye-to-eye on things, but if it happened, I’d just tell her she’s wrong, and that’s that. Then we would kiss and make up. Lol. ;)

Btw, I’m a very anti-Occupier.

@Linda_Owl

“My late husband would definitely have not been an OWS supporter, but as he is no longer among us….”

If he came back from the dead, what would be a bigger obstacle to your reuniting: his opposition to OWS, or that he would now be a zombie? ;-)

@MRSHINYSHOES Oh, I wasn’t asking ‘bout your feelings on OWS

@MRSHINYSHOES Does your wife often defer to your opinion like that? I can’t tell if you’re being humorous or not :)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir anything that is a core value that you are on opposite ends of the spectrum on are certainly ones you need to come to some understanding on as I am sure that you don’t want it to come between your relationship. It certainly is a flag and after chatting may become white or red.

I don’t think it would matter that much to me, at least not with this particular issue. Maybe it’s because I’m relatively indifferent to it, but there are definitely other worldly issues out there that if we disagreed on them, it might be a bit of a problem. This particular one, not so much.

If it works for James Carville and Mary Matalin, there is a lesson in there.

@cockswain Such as…?

They have strongly differing political philosophies yet find a way to remain married.

@cockswain Do you think that’s something to admire?

Good question. Not sure if “admire” is the word I’d use. To me, it is indicative of putting things in such a perspective that one’s relationship maintains a very high status relative to other philosophies. Whether one decides to value close, loving relationships over certain ethics is a personal choice. To me, the lesson is that one can still love someone while respecting their views, even if they differ from one’s own.

@cockswain I suppose I have a couple of issue with putting a relationship above my own ethics. I have to look myself in the face at the end of the night, you know? Besides, who am I if not a person made up of ethics and values? And who are they in love with if not with me?...there are views I don’t respect…I can’t really tolerate them in anyone, let alone my partner…I don’t get how it would feel to swallow that kind of thing for love or is that love?

All fine questions, all which drive at the heart of who and what we are, what our personalities are, and what’s important.

There isn’t a right or wrong answer, it’s a matter of personal choice. One could adopt the view that there is nothing more important that ethics and values and make a fine case that is a great way to live. Personally, I oscillate between that and then a nihilistic viewpoint. Hypocrisy is inherent in human nature, so sometimes we may ease up on our morals to do something we really want to do or be with someone that really excites us. Depending on what mood I’m in, I may think nothing is more important than love, nothing is more important than living strictly in accordance with one’s own values (even when not necessarily in one’s best interests), or that we’re just animals that get one life and should do whatever the hell we want.

Sounds kind of nuts, I know.

@cockswain Not really…people oscillate…sometimes, for the lucky of us, morals align with love.

Something like the Wall Street movement, there would be no issue. Even if she was for it and I wasn’t, or visa versa, there are bigger fish in the world to worry about. I got enough work trying not to be the 99 than complain about it because I am.

@Hypocrisy_Central What are some of these bigger fish?

What does “not tolerating” accomplish other than making one more comfortable in their own bubble of belief? Obviously, this is a natural reaction, and I don’t mean to judge it. I’ve just always held on to the question of whether it is better to live one’s ethics and values among the likeminded or among those whom one might attempt to change. I don’t really have an answer for that, either.

In my experience being in a relationship with someone who naturally/nurturally espoused conservative views, I endured a lot of discussion and listening to get to a point where I understood what her views were based on, and it turned out that at the core they primarily came from a very personal and very human sense of fairness. They were dressed up in rhetoric and dogma that I find distasteful, but the essence was quite understandable. I’ve also had some gratification in seeing my “progressive” thought rub off on her over the years, proof of which comes out most distinctly when she talks about the “icky people” she once regarded as more her tribe.

Still, there is a perceived price to be paid for living in such a compromising relationship and that is the actualization or fullness of expression of one’s own values and ethics—the opportunity to relish harmony in one’s own life or to manifest a vision. If I were to turn away from a relationship, I would do it for that reason—for reasons supporting one’s fullness of self-expression rather than as an escape from or rejection of someone for “intolerable” beliefs or values.

@XD I can understand essence and even forgive it. I just don’t need it in my house. I’m sure many feel the same way about queer people, so it’s a wash.

I don’t doubt that’s a healthy response. Maybe that’s a good and commonsense answer to the question I posed above. Personally and for better or worse, I lack that sensibility for whatever reason.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir @Hypocrisy_Central What are some of these bigger fish? Off the top of my head, some of the bigger fish to me, is bettering my skills to stay marketable. Channeling my inner immigrant so I don’t have to worry about outsourcing or downsizing. Keeping myself above water each month. Trying to keep myself healthy, so I at least have another 10 years on the planet, maybe. That is not counting the larger things in the world one could be concerned over.

@FutureMemory She usually defers to my opinion because I’m usually right. lol ;)

Well coming from somebody that has no real partisan ties I’ll say that I’m generally not a big fan of movements like OWS or the TEA Party since each of these groups seem to have divisions within themselves and do not concentrate on one issue. I generally prefer movements that are devoted to a single issue that I agree with such as Cannabis legalization. I guess this wouldn’t affect me a great deal if my signifigant other was passionate about OWS or the TEA Party. What would affect me much more is my signifigant other vividly opposing me on single issues that are very important to me.

No, it wouldn’t matter much. My husband and I disagree on many things; we just roll with it.

@MRSHINYSHOES WTF, seriously?