Have you any 'top tips' you would like to share?

For men only. When urinating, have one hand for control purposes and have the other hand ready to flush, do this simultaneously as you prepare for the flush, depending on your stream produced and how quickly your toilet flushes, practice flushing to the point where the end of your stream is the last rotation of the flush as it goes down the pipe.

You can wash your whole car in 20 minutes and no drying with a cloth needed, you use just under a tablespoon of dishwashing liquid in a bucket. Hose the vehicle down, then section by section you apply the soapy water with a quality sponge. As you finish each section, you rise before any of the soapy water dries on the vehicle. Start from the roof and work your way down, then from the passenger front all the way around to the driver front fender. Depending on the size of the vehicle it should take 19 to 33 minutes to have a nice clean vehicle, and no streaks.

Save on getting fitted carpets by using samples from a carpet shop and strapping these on to your feet. All the fitted carpet sensation with none of the expense.
one of my favs from viz

101 uses for Astroglide

Tip # 33: Great for lubing lizards stuck in flower pot holes.

Yep, saved a large Alligator lizard whose upper body and shoulders were stuck in a flower pot hole in a stack of flower pots on my deck once. :-D

Cheer loudly at 8.00pm each Saturday to fool the neighbours into thinking you have won the Lottery.

Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

People whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty ‘Toblerone’ chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to “fast wipe” whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.

Drivers: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

^Rofl! XD

Save money on spray tans by simply zipping yourself in a tent with a 3 year old and a multipack of Wotsits. (Very British humour – some things just don’t make it across the Atlantic)

Never talk about Fight Club.

Also, if the cops are after you, draw a mustache on your face with a marker, and pretend you’re someone else.

@flutherother – even though you didn’t put a tilde sign after your comment regarding the ironing of shirt bottoms, I assume it was tongue in cheek. However when I was in school, our uniform was a jumper (as in sleeveless dresses not warm weather gear) over long sleeved shirts. Let me tell you, no one ever ironed any part of those shirts except the collars and sleeves, no magic marker lines needed!

I always liked the idea of sleeping in a sleeping bag on top of the bed, then you never need to wash the sheets or make the bed, you just roll up the bag and toss it under the bed until night time.

Many a true word is said in jest but the ‘top tips’ takes things to extremes:

When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case a large, blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong way up the road.
D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead General Infirmary.

Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
G. Smith, South Norwood.

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give you dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for 50p.

Get five identical outfits, then when you get up you don’t have to think of what to wear, you just put on a clean one and out the door you go in something you like.

@Mat74UK – now that is a great idea! and everyone profits.

Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black & Decker
“Dustbuster.” The zombies will then wander aimlessly and can be
dispatched by the more usual methods at a more leisurely pace.

Drivers: ensure you never fall asleep on a long journey by carefully trapping a bit of your hair in the sunroof.