Is it rude to ask people foreign to your country about their customs and lives?

I think your question and answer session with him was very appropriate.

I went to Italy and was asked a zillion questions by their fair people and it did not bother me one bit. I felt like I was learning something from them and vice versa.

When people stop talking to each other is when the problems begin.

You did okay.

I think that, as long as you ask considerate questions and actually want to learn more, it’s fine. Plus, this guy sounded like he didn’t mind sharing.
It might just depend on why they’re there. If they had to leave in an emergency, probably not appropriate. If they are, say, a foreign exchange student, fine.
But what do I know?

To some people, it could be considered offensive;while to others it could be considered very kind to ask about their customs. It really all depends on the person. It is always best to start small when asking about someone’s personal life. That way you can get a feel for if they will share anything. If they get defensive and don’t share much, you know not to ask questions.

@john65pennington , @TheIntern55 , and @Kandy – thanks a lot, I feel a lot better about it :)

Sounds like a completely natural thing to do

I think it always depends on how the question is asked. My husband is from Africa and some years back people assumed he grew up in a hut surrounded by wild animals. He would get offended. I think its ok to ask so long as the question presume certain things. Like my sister in law once asked me about my stay in Japan. She believed that all the women there were not allowed any importance because they are female. And that all the men were rude and drank all the time and fooled around and they all hated Americans. I felt like telling her they all only hate the rude, ignorant Americans. Oh, and she believed that all the women and children wore kimonos all the time except for the rich Japanese business man. What can I say my sister in law is an idiot. But it sounds you simply asked to be informed instead of assuming certain things and that is ok. People often don’t mind informing people of what life is really like in their country but you get annoyed at having to correct ignorant thoughts that people get from tv.
Like in India, people do not all break out into song and dance or pray to cows.
In Japan, people do not go around commiting sepuku or Hari kari.
In Africa, they don’t all live in huts and do tribal dances. There are many cities.
And btw, Africa is a continent, not a country.
In the US, we do not all ride our horses in the country and have salon fights. Nor is there a murder on every corner of the street.

Depends. Most Americans feel very comfortable asking people where they are from. We not only ask people who seem obviously foreign, people who speak with accents is the biggest give away, but we also ask Americans whose families have been here for generations. But, in many countries they don’t ask such questions, either because it is not typical in their culture, or because they live in a place where people have been there for generations and the population is fairly homogeneous and it does not come up. People sometimes take the questions the wrong way, they feel they are being judged or discriminated against. But, I still ask, because I am interested, but if they seem uncomfortable I back off.

Some of it has to do with the persons personality I think. My husband has no problem with people asking where he is from, his brother hates to be asked.

@Pandora That’s a lot of stereotypes you have going in that answer LOL. Why would your husband be offended when the person asking was obviously an idiot? I actually think it is good when people ask when they are so ignorant, at least then they have the opportnuity to learn. I think your husband was feeling as many non-Americans do, they worry about the stereotypes and prejudices. Worry is probably too strong a word, but I think Americans are just more accustomed to that sort of conversation, especially in certain parts of our country. People seem much more comfortable to talk about these things in larger diverse cities in my experience. I think it is because everyone feels like everyone is from somewhere else, or their family is.

Anyway, what you wrote made me think of how my husband was shocked a coworker was very confused that my husband could be Jewish and Mexican. He was a little harsh on her when he recanted the story to me. I came back to him with how I think we should be glad she asked instead of making ridiculous assumptions or staying confused.

It’s fine to ask people about their lives and customs in their own countries, within reason, and as long as you don’t force them to keep on going past the point where they might like to stop talking and eat, or stop talking and listen to you (or others), or simply shut up, period. And you need to give them opportunities other than “I’m not boring you with my questions, am I?” because a polite person would never admit that you are (or might do it in such a way that it would be too subtle for you to recognize).

So the best ways to do this are to simply pay attention to what they do and say, and ask specific and directed questions about statements or actions that are different from what you might be familiar with, rather than generalized “tell me all about your life” questions, that almost no one likes for long.

It’s not rude if asked politely. I think most foreigners would love to tell us about their customs back home, the way the live, what they eat and how they eat, etc. Being in a foreign land, they probably feel a bit isolated, even alienated, so when we want to know more about them and their customs, it makes them feel happy to do so. I know if I were a foreigner in a strange land, I’d want people to ask me about the way I live back home. Asking foreigners about the way they do things and how they live shows that you have an interest in them, and that is good, provided your interest is sincere.

However, not all foreigners are alike. Some will be more aloof and not wanting to divulge personal information, while others will enjoy telling you everything. Also, it may depend on the country from where the person’s from. I remember acquaintances from Great Britain and Scandinavia, who were more apt to be “aloof” and reserved, and other acquaintances from Italy and Greece, who were more open and eager to tell you things.

If the person you are talking to is open to it, I see nothing wrong. If he/she appears uncomfortable, I would stop.

It’s good to ask.

1— It makes them the center of attention and gives them a chance to talk.
2— It makes you seem like the less informed one and thus massages the guests ego.
3— The answers are seldom boring, and there is always a chance to learn.

If anyone has a problem with it, they are probably being unreasonable.

If the other person seems open and enthusiastic about sharing it’s all good. Your dad is making a blanket statement based on his programming of what he feels/has been taught, is appropriate social interaction.

Sounds like you had a great exchange with another human being and most people enjoy being asked about themselves and their beliefs/customs.

Refreshing IMO, considering so many are so grossly self absorbed it never occurs to them to actually ASK anyone else about themselves. lol

I love talking to people about their culture/life in another country. I don’t think it is rude at all providing you weren’t patronizing. I think being open about learning the traditions/cultures/lifestyles of others is important to creating acceptance and understanding of the lifestyles we are not accustomed to.

Is it rude? Absolutely not! It shows you are interested in him as a person and want to know more about him. It shows you care about his culture. You made it easier for him to have a more enjoyable time because you gave him something to talk about: something he knows about. Your Dad sounds like he doesn’t understand because he’s too busy trying not to offend people.