My fiance is worried about making a good impression on my family from London... what can I do?

Welcome to Fluther.

Apparently the family don’t know “all” about James, or they’d have known that he has Tourette’s. So, tell them. You could pretty much tell them… maybe not ‘all’ that you told us, but part of the second paragraph, perhaps.

After that, if they judge him harshly because of an uncontrollable tic on his part, then that’s on them. Amazing people shine in the long run. Let James shine over time.

Have you told the family about his mild Tourette’s Syndrome? I would tell them in advance and tell him that you have told them.

Think of conversational topics that will interest your relatives that James will shine in.Bring those up.

Tell him that your family will like him, and he should not worry.

Tell your family that you love him, and you expect them to like him and to support your choice.

Tell James some funny quirk of each of your family members so that he does not build them up too much in his mind.

Stop worrying. He is picking up his attitude from yours.

@marinelife I haven’t told them about the tourettes. It’s something that he doesn’t like to share with people unless he feels it’s necessary.

As long as you love him nothing else matters.

@phoebsshmeebs maybe you could speak to James, tell him you would like to share his diagnosis with your family, and ask if that is all right with him. Explain that he might be more comfortable and less self-conscious if he knows the family understands that his slight tics are a result of a medical condition not his being disrespectful. You can discuss the implications of telling them and not telling them, then you can decide together whether to provide the information. Once you have gotten through that, do the things suggested by @marinelife to give him a head start in conversation. As long as he behaves as a gentleman, treats you and your family with the proper respect, displays good manners, and is a genuine person, he should do just fine.

P.S. IMO, the fact that he is is nervous and really wants to make a good impression is a good sign! Good luck to you both and let us know how it turns out!

I’d refrain from bringing up the Tourettes thing, for now anyway.

I think that could lend itself to an immediate bias and twist everyones brain into viewing him as his condition and not his totality.

As soon as you “label” him to be this or that you have effectively sown the seeds of bias and hypervigilance in others to be on alert for his symptoms.

This puts the focus on watching for his tics etc. instead of being present with him without the pre-assigned label.

I wouldn’t stack the deck like that on a first meeting,

P.S. I agree with @SuperMouse

Do NOT tell your family, or anyone, anything without his consent.

You love him.

He loves you.

They know all about him.

It’s stressful to think about it beforehand, but it could actually be really nice! Your family know how much you like him; relax!